How to Grow

Did someone order Change?

2010-05-25T06:23:00.003-04:00

Well, my last post eluded to change, but I'm now experiencing more change in my life than I ever anticipated! I'm moving in a couple weeks, found a new church this weekend, my husband has said he intends to file for divorce, my temp job will be coming to a close in about a month...is there anything else? Oh, I'm beginning to loose weight, um.....oh! I'm not nearly as depressed as I anticipated I might be!

Given the multitude of circumstances, I have anticipated a major depression, but it's interesting to me that while I'm seeing some small signs of depression, in more ways I'm experiencing the absolute best mental health EVER had! And I mean that quite literally.

I'm not going to get into the gory details of the dissolution of my marriage, but suffice it to say, near the end I had been in almost constant prayer and when he called an end to it, I felt peace. I've had some hard times since then, of course, but overall I know that God is protecting me and directing me in how I respond to my ex and how I go about conducting myself during these awkward and painful times. So many scriptures have been my constant encouragement. And so many of "my ladies" have been faithful to call me and keep me in their prayers and just speak encouragement and the uplifting truth that I am a valued child of God! That is such a lifeline to me! I just soak it all in!

While my overall theme here is how to change ... inner life, as a goal, not a circumstance, I'm reflecting today on how often times outer change begets inner change...

Constance and Change

2010-02-17T22:47:00.003-05:00

In the last 7+ months, a lot has changed and a lot has stayed the same. I am still temping at the same place (now there for 13+ months...), I am still not really healthy.
I'm more of a roomie to my husband; this change brought on by a typical drunken incident that just finally made me say enough is enough. We still live together, still go to counseling together, but we're pretty much roomies. He knows he needs to actually DO something (Get Help) about his alcoholism, I know I need to go back to my personal counselor. So I'm taking the steps I need to. I don't know about him.
My sis was back for a week after New Years and it was so incredible. I missed her terribly over the summer, but you know how you get used to someone being away after awhile...well, I'd gotten used to her not being so close. But having her here for that week was so awesome, and I'm so glad we could share that time. We went into Boston and walked around Chinatown and the North End. It was fr-EE-zing, but we survived!
I talked to Mom after my last post. Things got a little better with her, but the holidays really brought out the worst in us. Unfortunately, I know that some things are just never going to be the same. And in a sense, that's a good thing, because "the same" is SO unhealthy. But at the same time, I really envy those families that ARE healthy and can continue to have healthy relationships into adulthood. Well, maybe I can have a healthy relationship with her, it just won't be idea. What I mean is, since I know I can't trust her to respect certain boundaries, I just won't be able to share those parts of my life with her. It's unfortunate, but it is a step toward my own mental health that I'm finally willing to make.
I've begun reading Codependent No More and the more I read, the more I see it in myself - in many areas of my life! I've begun helping my sis with her college essays; editing for grammar and punctuation. At first I was just correcting everything and inserting comments to tell her why. Then I realized she would learn more if I explained general rules and let her make her own corrections. I was so worried that she'd be irritated with me, but she responded really well, saying she learned so much more! It's so funny to me how these things really work in real life!
So to be real, I'm depressed again. And not happy about it either! (That was a joke, though it's true :)
I thought I had this all under control and knew how to deal with the warning signs, etc. But then last August I started having a little wine with my dinner and ended up doing that a few times a week. It's absolutely FACT that alcohol is a depressant and I was already teetering on the edge. I went and pushed myself right over. I finally accepted the fact that it was really harmful to me right after Christmas, but by that time the damage was done.
But now it's February and I should be "over it," right? Believe me, I've been around this block enough times, I know it doesn't happen that way, but I'm back to seeing my counselor and am consciously looking for the healthy/mature ways of dealing with things.
One thing I decided to do this year is to try a new recipe from my cookbook collection at least once per week. I have over 40 cookbooks and I haven't used even one recipe out of at least a third of them. So this year, I'm going to change all of that! It's been really fun and I'm definitely enjoying the fruits of this particular labor! I'll share more on that another time. For now, I'm going to try doing the healthy thing and going to bed at an almost-decent hour.

sad day

2009-07-03T14:03:00.004-04:00

It's a sad day for me as I realize the extent of my mom's manipulation. I love her. How can I not. But, love and loyalty asside, it doesn't change people's actions. The truth is the truth is the truth.
So where does that leave me? More determined to set boundaries and stand by them. More determined to rely upon God's and not human's direction. More aware and more awake. Better protected.

Random Thoughts

2009-06-02T21:59:00.006-04:00

I've been contemplating "sustained discipline" with my counselor. Not in depth, because it seems that each session there is something else more pressing. My lack of self-discipline isn't going anywhere. Not today anyway. I just spent about two hours on the computer, 1/2 an hour doing dishes, and here I am back on the computer.

I like the anonymity of the internet. I can say or be anything I want to be. But mostly I want to be Me.

Last night my hubby and I were talking about what we wanted to do if, by the completion of that "thing we'd do," our lives would end. I decided I wanted to record the stories of the people I meet through the furniture ministry at my church. Their stories need to be shared. Their struggles need to be brought to light. Their courage in the face of hopelessness needs to be celebrated.

Which brings me to another thought I've been having today. It's been bothering me lately that it is so hard to find mattresses for these folks. Any time we receive a mattress in donation, it is immediately delivered because we literally have a waiting list. But what if we had a mattress drive, or a fund raiser for the express purpose of purchasing mattresses? What if we got a furniture company involved and asked if they'd match any donations toward purchasing mattresses at their establishment? What if everyone had a mattress that needed one? What if guest rooms around the city were disassembled? What if people around the state became more aware of the fact that kids, elderly, refugees, veterans, people just like you and me, were sleeping on couches, on piles of clothing, towels, the bare floor.

What if?

To that end, I'm starting a new blog. The new one won't have any links back here because, like I said. I like my anonymity here. But I'm going to write about our ministry. And I'm going to write about the people we meet, and my team that is so eager to help. And about the challenges we face throughout the city. And maybe, just maybe we'll start to become more aware.

Conundrum

2009-04-11T06:25:00.004-04:00

Sometimes this body of mine just confounds me. In my limited knowledge, I just don't know what to make of it. I'm 7 days "late" but the pregnancy test says "nope, nada, try again!" I am smelling things I've never smelt before, I'm constantly tired, extremely sensitive, I am getting hot flashes. Hot flashes? Am I peri-menapausal? Oi.
I'm 32 years old and while one of my Aunts went through menopause pretty young, I think she was at least 37. I could be wrong. But pregnant women have hot flashes too. But their tests usually come out possitive too...so, {sigh}.
I didn't want to take the test. It's a very volnerable two minutes. Do you look at it the whole time, or go brush your teeth or something and pretend your future doesn't hang in the balance? And then it's negative and you wonder if you did it right. Was there any way you could have messed it up? But you know you did it right. You've only taken the test fourty two times in the last five years. (slight exageration!) And then you simply accept. Unless this isn't the fourty second time you've done it and you still wonder and convince yourself somehow that the test was wrong and you'll take it again the next day to prove it!
Ah well. In the end, I'll probably test again Tuesday. Give it a few days. Unless of course something happens in the mean time....

How to Grow...

2008-11-30T15:04:00.002-05:00

...to be 200. Wow. This is my 200th post. Who new it would take only 5 months. Certainly not I. I didn't realize I had that much to say. Well maybe I did, but still: 200?

...Rhododendrons from cuttings.
I have been meaning to take cuttings from a Rhododendron of ours that is sort of dying, but which we wanted to move to a new location. Enter cuttings...why not propogate them over the winter months and plant the new seedlings (so to speak) where we wanted to move the old one to? So here is the link I found for starting a rhodo from a cutting...and now I have 7 going, all with little baggies over them, hoping for some rooting action!

...and say more with less.
It sounds good anyway. Since my last post, I've been working full time at a temp job in a hospital social services office. I absolutely love it! It's a step in the direction I want to go. I also spent a week getting to know my month-old nephew in Baton Rouge, Louisianna. What a precious joy! Even while we where there, he grew a little fuller in the face and began to get a baby tummy. Loved it! We had to deal with some in-law stuff, but that's life, right?

Our trip down took 28 hours. We drove straight from 6 am one day to 10 am the next. It only cost $240 in gas round trip. Add an oil change, we're still only talking $280. my in-laws spent $350 each on plane tickets. I say if you're willing to spend the time, and you enjoy driving, why not? We had a great time along the way and I LOVE driving, so it was the perfect choice for us. I have to say though, leaving first thing in the morning is best because we ended up leaving Baton Rouge at 11 am and getting home at 3:30 pm the next day. Basically took up most of both days. I guess it makes a big difference where those four hours are placed!

Turns out, my SIL is dealing with yeast/thrush with the baby. Interesting how these things come up and we can share our experiences, huh? It was great to be able to cook for them, hold the baby, sing to him, read to him, etc. The joys of everyday living. Can't beat it.

A good thing

2008-11-07T11:12:00.002-05:00

It seems incomprehensible to me that my last post was just two days ago. It seems like weeks have gone by in two days. I still don't have a job, but I am getting my confidence back and feel really great about my prospects.
One thing I noticed was I think I still need meds for my depression. Yes, I can control the environmental forces and my own thought process which tends to work against me, but there are indeed chemical forces going on as well. I have been able to see the warning signs and correct them before they get full blown. Except I stopped taking my meds Sunday and by Wednesday I was on the verge of snapping at my poor hubby before I realized I was totally loosing it. Thursday the same thing happened. Thankfully I caught it before I really did snap at him, but I made sure I picked up my meds and started taking them again.
I feel better already and I know it's not because they are already effective, it's just the easing of my mind, knowing that I'm getting back on track. It's a good thing.

Confidence

2008-11-05T13:07:00.002-05:00

I didn't get another job I'd interviewed for. Confidence is waning.
Oi.
I seriously didn't think it'd be this hard to find another job. Now I'm back to responding to postings with hours and locations I'd rather not do, but, well, I need a job.
I'm currently looking for temp work so I don't have to settle for a permanent position I don't really want to take. I figure I can do anything short term. But back to working until 6 from a half hour away from home? Isn't that one of the reasons I left?!
Oi.
I'm finding out a lot about myself. Like I have more control over my depression than I ever imagined.
And my concept of self is way more linked to employment than I ever imagined.
And I'm liking staying home way more than I ever imagined.
But how to take all that into consideration...quite a chore indeed.

I don't even know what to call this post

2008-10-24T09:49:00.002-04:00

I had a bit of a meltdown last night. Yeah. Not pretty.

It's late, we're in bed, and I reach for something on my nightstand and knock over the water cup. I was fine as I picked it up, but then I crawled back in bed and just started sobbing.

I think it's partly prepping for our friends to move in. It's partly the havoc of still not having a real front door, having to climb a ladder to get inside, not even having a set place to put my stupid keys, for pete's sake!

So anyway, it's like the perfect storm. So much upheval. And it's been going on for so long. I mean, I haven't had front steps for two weeks. Seriously. That may not sound like a long time, but try climbing a ladder with groceries, laundry, and anything else. Getting ready for interviews in a nice outfit only to step out the door and climb down a ladder.

So I have my meltdown and my hubby just lays there. I think he wanted to comfort me but he can't lay on that shoulder since his accident. But no words, nothing. Then I stop after about twenty minutes. Seriously. I think it's the longest meltdown I've ever had.

And he gets up. Goes downstairs. At this point, I'm thinking...he couldn't get up and walk around the bed and maybe give me a hug, but he can get up and go downstairs. Then he goes outside.

He goes outside ladies! Seriously!

We'd been out shopping for a door and window earlier in the evening and there was a funny noise coming from the wheel well, so he goes outside to check it.
After I had a meltdown.
At 11:15 at night.
Without a word of comfort or a squeeze of the hand or a hug.
Nothing.
He goes and checks on his truck!!!!

Does anyone else see why I'm freaking out here?!

So I've been thinking this morning. You know, it's mostly about our friends moving in. Yes, I've had about a month to prep. And the house will be in order in time. Maybe not the whole thing, but it'll be ready for them.

What I'm freaking out about is twofold. One, they are very neat and orderly and the guy is pretty outspoken about how he wants things. In his own home, he takes care of the kitchen because he just has to have it spic and span. That's not gonna happen in my house. I mean, it's not going to be "just so" all of the time. Two, they are very neat and orderly. So is my husband. So I feel like it's three neat, orderly people against me...housekeeping's worst nightmare. I exagerate a bit. But not much. I appreciate order. I work well when things are how they "should be," but it doesn't happen on a regular basis.

It seems like all my life, my mom has "joked" about how I'm not so neat. They called my room growing up "the swamp." It hurts. Sarcasm isn't a joke. It's not funny. Does it make me want to prove them wrong? Totally. But do I think I can? Never.

I'm also afraid this is the begining, warning signs of a depression. What do I do? I've got to get outside myself.

So what can I do, while I'm supposed to be finishing up prepping the house, to get outside myself? After I finish yelling at this fly buzzing around me, of course. Seriously. I'm totally at my whit's end.

Well, tomorrow is a delivery day for my furniture project with the church. I still need to finish up coordinating that effort. Sunday I'm on my own again coordinating the greeters for the day. We're supposed to have three leaders, but it's just me right now. So I guess I don't need to search long for things to do to get beyond my own problems.

You know, I recall talking to my counselor awhile back about how I tend to have depressions after major stressful events. I'll be fine during the event, like when we were evacuated due to threat of a flood, but afterwards I fell to pieces. I've been out of work for a little over a month now and it's both shocking and a major victory for me that I haven't gone into a depression yet. But all it took was me being locked out of my house and then responding negatively to that. It took me an hour and a half yesterday to get myself back into the house, then I decided to lick my wounds, so to speak, and treat myself to some me-time. I cruised the web, had a nice leisurely lunch, vegged out for a wee bit. Not exactly "getting outside myself" type of activities. So I guess it comes as no surprise that I had the night that I had last night.

Does it make it any easier today? Actually, it does. It shows me that it's not everything else, it's my reaction to it. I'm still in control. It can still be traced back to my choices and decisions. And it tells me I can't just blow off the house, I have to be mature about this and finish the job. Darn it. {wink}

Thrifty Thursday: It's all about attitude

2008-10-23T10:47:00.002-04:00

I was going to call this piece "Cheap vs. Thrifty." I got to thinking about all of this saving money and using what we have, not creating unneccesary waste, etc. this morning. Let me back up a bit.

Yesterday I found a pre-formed store-bought pie shell in the back of my freezer, but it was all cracked and in pieces. I put it back in the freezer in my re-organization frenzy, but continued to think about what to do with it.

This morning I decided to experiment with the crumbled and cracked pie shell by adding it to some of my canned grape pie filling and seeing how it turned out.

So it's not wasted, and it's hopefully going to be enjoyed immensely!

Alternatively, I recall an incident last spring involving my mom and my korean sister. Hyung was going back to Korea to be with her real family for the summer and there was a medical bill that needed to be paid. Mom wanted Hyung to bring it with her on the plane, but Hyung's parents said to hold on to it until they decided what to do with it. A week later, they asked mom to mail it to them. She was all upset about how she could have saved 90 cents by sending it with Hyung in the first place! I mean she obsessed over this for weeks! {sigh}

What's my attitude like? Am I obsessing about saving money? Am I getting irritable and generally a pain in the rear about it? Or is it exciting, an adventure, something I'm taking pride in? When I can't save money, or find that I'm forced to waste money (like throwing out bad meat,) is it the end of the world? Is that 90 cents going to make or break my day?

I'm obviously trying not to be like my mom in this and many other ways. I've begun talking about my "mother issues," and I'm sure you can read even more into this than I can at this point. But it's not all about her.

This summer I found myself obsessing. Trying to force my newfound thrifty practices onto my hubby, and it wasn't pretty. But I think we've settled into a "lifestyle change" and are comfortable with how things are going. He's now used to using rags instead of paper towels. He doesn't mind that we only have one box of kleenex in the house. He gets the importance of checking the circulars and unplugging unused appliances and electronics. It's now "normal."

Sunday we'll be doubling our house occupancy when our friends come to live with us temporarily. Fortunately, they both are quite frugal and non-wastefully minded. If that's a word. Now it is. It won't be quite the shock to their system to see us using rags because they've spent a lot of time here in the last few months. But I always have to ask myself if I'm obsessing and making more of a deal out of this as it needs to be.

Thrifty is good. Cheap is obsession. I don't want to obsess. Please tell me if I'm obsessing. Seriously. I'm obsessing now aren't I? (Just kidding!)

Come on in, sit down, can I get you some tea?

2008-10-20T17:04:00.005-04:00

We've got a lot of catching up to do, huh?

Well, first of all, take a look out the window. Aren't those colors gorgeous? The trees in my backyard are changing so beautifully. It reminds me of peach sherbert. Or is it sherbet. Or sorbet. Either way, it's so pretty and peacefull.

Yeah, I'll get to the good stuff.

Our friends are still planning on staying with us. Probably through the end of the year. And yes, since I'm still not working, that will be a welcome bit of cash for oil and the mortgage. And speaking of work, I had a very good interview today that I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high for. But it's EXACTLY what I want to do. It's not that I don't think I'm qualified, I KNOW I can do the job and I'm qualified for it...I just know that I was also qualified to do the other jobs that I've interviewed for and I didn't get those...

But perhaps it was God's way of keeping me out of work until this came around.

In regards to the house...oi. So much going on! My hubby took off the front porch last weekend and discovered that the front part of the roof was badly in need of replacing, so this past weekend, a group of our friends helped him work on that. I wish our digital camera was still working, but I did manage to get some pictures with the 35mm so we'll see how those turn out.

Unfortunately, my hubby and one of our friends is still working on it! The poor guy. He hasn't taken a day off in three weeks and he has a paying side-project lined up for this coming weekend too. He's so tired and worn down, his shoulder isn't healing from his ATV accident a few weeks ago and frankly, he's getting a bit cranky.

Enough about me. What's going on with you? Are the kids liking school? Are your days more crazy than ever? Find any good recipes lately? (Especially for cranberries and pumpkin stuff!)

Now here's a quick disclaimer about this next part: this is the reason why I don't tell people I know in face-to-face life that I have a blog. Way too personal to share with people you actually know! Ironic, isn't it. But this is my blog about growth and change, and I've gone back and forth in my mind as to whether or not I SHOULD talk about this, but that's the whole point of the blog. To share everything as pertaining to growth. The pain, the joy, the confusion, the dirt. And here's the pain, the dirt, the mud.

It all comes back to the mother, huh? To all the mom's out there, I'm sorry. That's way too general of a statement. But in my case, much of my complexity can be traced back to my mom. Is that better?

I've recently realized the blaring truth that my mom is not Just a control freak. It's way beyond freakish. It's obsession. It's unhealthy. It's beyond unhealthy. It's manipulation, it's exageration, it's self-pity and on and on and on. And I'm becoming just like her.

Yeah. Really scary. I mean, I've recognized the control freak inside of me and we've kind of come to an agreement about that, (me and the control freak inside me,) but it's come to the point that I have to kind of break away.

It hurts. I feel bad. There is this ingrained loyalty that I think most kids have to their parents, and while it doesn't feel natural to "break away," I think there is a natural component there, too. It's probably one of those things kids have to go through as they become adults. And here I am, 32 years old, just coming to this realization. I mean, I thought I HAD gone through this, started living my own life, etc. But for me, this feels different.

It's boundaries, limits, thinking for myself, resisting that siren song of parental guidance. Taking admonishment and still saying no, standing up for myself, understanding that to be healthy I must withdraw for a bit.

A few weeks ago I went to the laundromat to clean all our comforters and winter blankets. I met a woman there who was native american and we got to talking. She noticed my barret that had butterflies engraved on it and she spoke about what the butterfly meant as a talisman. I can't remember all that she said, but I remember in particular what she said about the crysalis stage of the butterflie's life.

It represents withdrawl as a stage of growth. It can be physical, spiritual, emotional, etc. and can last for any amount of time. The point is, in order to fully form as a completed being...the resulting butterfly..., one must go through a period of withdrawl, hibernation, etc.

And my point is, I think this is that time for me. My counselor asked me to write mom a letter (without the intent of giving it to her,) and I'm finding it harder than I thought it would be. It's so ... general. It's not like there was an event or trauma that caused this pain, it was a pattern of life. How do you consolidate that into a sentence, say how it made you feel, and come to a conclusion. Or am I forcing structure into this letter that is restricting this healing process?

I am tempted to just walk away, but I know that's the coward's way out. Maybe for a moment, but eventually I'll have to confront her. And it's up to her to respond. How she'll respond is possibly predictable, but miracles still happen. I'm not counting on it, but it would be nice. And they do happen. I'm living proof.

But that's another story.

Menu Plan Monday

2008-10-13T14:20:00.005-04:00

If you've taken a look at my other blog, Blecipes lately, you could have probably guessed at this week's menu plan already!

Monday:
Grilled Cornish Game Hens with Crockpot Acorn Squash, fresh romaine salad and rice (for hubby, who boycotts anything including "squash" in the name...woohoo! more for me!!)

Tuesday:
Gorgonzola Stuffed Meatballs with garlic smashed potatoes and steamed veggies.

Wednesday:
TX Cowboy Pie and Grilled Salad.

Thursday:
Grilled Chicken and Southwestern Crockpot Sweet Potato and Corn Medley.

Friday:
Homemade Pizza. I picked up some local pepperoni and some local cheese and I have plenty of local tomato sauce in the freezer, so all we need is some locally ground flour! Which I haven't found yet. Oi.

Saturday:
Date Night. Out. Treat!

Sunday:
Uh, leftovers. Lots and lots of leftovers!

Breakfasts: Muffins, grapefruit and tea (for me), toast and coffee for him. How DO we survive the morning?

Lunches: cold cut sandwiches, fruit and cookies for him, leftovers for me.

Flying lessons

2008-10-07T07:58:00.003-04:00

I mentioned last week that I was checking out Flylady.net. I've gotten the chance to implement the beginner steps and I have to say, I was surprised at the pace she gets you cleaning house. Since the first step is to shine the sink (and she gives you detailed instructions on how to do so!) I figured the next step would be to clean something else, but it isn't. I am so excited to share my FLYing experience because it's more of a habit-developing format than simply having you blindly following directions or lists of things to do.
FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself. And although some days are easier than others, it makes sense. Check it out. It's free, completely free. She does sell organizational and cleaning tools, but the basis of Flylady - the directions, the motivational e-mails, etc. are completely free.

Opening and closing doors

2008-10-06T19:57:00.003-04:00

I've gone on a few interviews for HR positions and registered for a couple of temp agencies. I have to say I've kind of tanked a couple of the interviews because I've been somewhat honest about my long term goals. I really want to move in the direction of social services eventually. Really, I'd love to do that now, but have no experience (besides my associates degree and internship.)
Ten years ago when I wanted to get into Human Resources, I looked for an entry level position and worked for six months as a receptionist in an HR department.
Today I found a position at Easter Seals as an Administrative Assistant. I can't express how excited this made me! I didn't even think of implementing the same kind of plan as I did ten years ago!
The other little bonus is that it's a part time position and within two miles from home. It's crazy amazing how God is opening opportunities for me! I was so excited last week when I was called for an interview 4 miles from home, then incredibly dissapointed when I didn't get it. But this was waiting in the wings, a position in the direction I really want to be taking but didn't think was possible.
This is a tough time to be unemployed though. I don't want to get political, but I think as soon as the election is over, (no matter what the outcome is), things will begin to settle down. But in the meantime, I am listening to my hubby on the phone with one of our friends who is in a sales position. He's not selling anything, and my hubby's company hasn't sold any new contracts lately. I am certainly not alone.

Barefoot and loving it

2008-10-01T23:46:00.002-04:00

There's something wonderful about bare feet in the dewy morning grass. I've never liked being barefooted in the grass before. It tickles and itches my ankles and it always irritated me. But ever since my hubby put up the clothesline earlier this summer, I've been loving being barefooted in the grass. Maybe it's because it's still wet with dew and the droplets are still shimmering in the early morning sun. Or because the birds are still chirping. Since I normally didn't get up until the last possible moment before I had to get ready for work, I never got the chance to enjoy that early morning sound.
Now my morning ritual includes barefeet in the dewy grass and when I miss it, I certainly miss it. Through tough leathery soles, I am connected to the earth in a way that my ancestors were. It surprises me, but it's a gentle surprise. Almost as if I'd known it all along, but didn't yet recognize.
It's taken about two weeks, but I'm officially no longer stressed out. This time of rest has been so good for every part of me. The body, mind, soul...all rested. I have been able to establish structure and routine, discipline to keep to the day's plan, and contentment, even eagerness to do housework, cooking, baking, cleaning. I know it's time to go back to work, but I will miss this time of being home, taking care of my family, preparing for the winter. Putting food up for the winter makes me feel so connected to womankind. To my ancestors. To my family and to time.
I find purpose and contentment in taking care of the house, all of the details of managing life here in our little house. It's no wonder I get overwhelmed when I'm working and shopping and cooking and cleaning and crashing because I can't do it ALL damnit!
My heart yearns to find a nice little part time job close to home. To contribute to the community around me daily, but more importantly: to contribute to our home daily too. There are so many times when I simply drag myself home to crash in a heap and hope there's something in the freezer. Instead, these days I work all day to put something in the freezer!
My hubby simply years for me to return to full time employment and I can't really blame him. It's a lot of pressure on his shoulders...his one freshly injured shoulder and the other one that was injured a few years ago! Yeah. It might be time to sell those ATV's. (Shhh!)
I've broached the subject with him before...and I know where he stands, but I wonder if I should approach the subject again. I can see the benefits being a smoother running household and a more mentally healthy wife, but I may simply be looking for the good and ignoring the faults in the idea.
Now I'm just rambling, so I'll sign off, but I can't wait for morning.
And barefeet in the dew-drenched grass.

Perspective Shift

2008-10-01T22:38:00.004-04:00

As I embark on my first Eat Local Challenge, I have already begun to think of my food differently, and it surprises me. Being out of work, I've decided to spend my days putting up food to avoid the high cost of produce in January. I pretty much decide every morning what I want to make, go to the store or a farm stand, and proceed to make whatever it is I've decided on.

This has given me a great excuse to seek out different farms and markets than I normally visit since I'm not as pressed for time as I usually am. I actually found myself dissapointed the other day to figure out that the Twist of Fate Farm isn't within ten miles of my home. Ten miles. Doesn't sound like much, especially since most of the food I've eaten my whole life probably comes from hundreds, even thousands of miles away! But I had this idea in my head that I wanted to see if I could get everything I needed within ten miles.

This isn't just a food-related thought, it's a whole lifestyle coming together. While I'm looking for a new job, I'm focusing on staying local. I've gotten a lot of greif about this from people that say - it's no big deal to commute 20 miles north or south to Nashua or Concord. Heck, a lot of people commute to Boston from Manchester. But this is my choice and my life.

I've also noticed that the food I'm purchasing lately is much more personal. I've met the guy who works the land and harvests the produce. I've met his teenage boy, and waved to his wife. I've walked by the chicken coops and the pig pens on the farm where I got my eggs and bacon, I heard them clucking and snorting. I've gushed over the freshness of the eggs. They are more precious than "regular" eggs. They are infinitely more precious than the single dollar extra I paid for them. They are somehow more real and I plan how I'm going to use them much more carefully. This morning I set about to make chicken nuggets using an egg batter. I debated if I really wanted to use four of my precious eggs as an egg batter! Really. They're going to be eaten SOMEHOW, why not this way...

But it takes me back to a few years ago. We were doing a Bible Study about the tabernacle and the temple. One part explained how sacrifices were made and how the person seeking forgiveness had to bring the live sacrifice to the altar and kill it there. The person had to physically kill the animal right then and there. Ever since, I haven't looked at a single piece of meat the same again. I used to get chicken or something and put it in the fridge intending to cook it right away or within a few days...but something would come up and we'd eat something else and before you know it, the meat would go bad. Since visuallizing the sacrifice at the altar, I have rarely had to throw away bad meat. It just doesn't happen. I am so much more aware of the waste, the meaningless waste.

I think it's very smart to be thinking about eating locally in the fall, specifically. It's a natural time to be putting food up for the winter, and concentrating on eating locally at this time thereby ensures that you'll be eating locally through the winter as well.

My goal for the October Eat Local Challenge is to find a new source of locally grown or raised food each week and to make at least one completely local meal each week. I am still on the hunt for locally milled flour, and I have found a couple sources listed online. Not within my 10-mile radius, but still well within the region. Now it's just a matter of getting my butt over there!

Twist of Fate Farm

2008-09-30T13:36:00.004-04:00

I made my first trip to Twist of Fate Farm in Dunbarton, NH today. It is so easy to get to, a little out of the way, but straightforward directions make it simple. The farm is only 6.5 miles from exit 6 on 293 in Manchester, and it took me only 13 minutes from the highway.
I got eggs freshly washed and still warm! (At $3/dozen) I also picked up some bulk breakfast sausage, bacon and some baking apples. Everything was well organized and clean. They have local ice cream and other local food products like pickles and relishes, bread mixes and jellies, soaps and lotions.
I'll definitely be making regular trips to Twist of Fate Farm. I'm thinking bacon-wrapped sirloin tips...
My hubby asked about prices when I was gushing over the freshness of the eggs. Apples to apples, I'd pay $5 a dozen for organic eggs at the big grocery store. Apples to oranges, I'd pay $2 a dozen for non-organic eggs.

Fly, baby, fly!

2008-09-30T11:51:00.003-04:00

I was meeting with a ministry coordinator at church this morning and after we were through our business, we got to chatting. I shared with her the news I received last night. And now I share with you...
Friends of ours, a couple we've known for years, may be in need of temporary housing for a few months. We have room. They may be staying with us.
Eeek!
I am so gratified to be able to help out in their time of need, as we've done for others in the past, but oi....my house...disaster...yeah.
Well Katrina, who I met with this morning pointed me to Flylady.net and I am SO incredibly grateful! I have a few weeks before our friends move in and I also have no employment in sight so guess what I'm going to be doing in the next couple of weeks?

Flylady is a free online resource designed to help you declutter, clean, organize, be encouraged, etc. and it's going to save my sanity!

Redeeming the Time

2008-09-29T09:51:00.002-04:00

Although I am not working right now, I'm trying to be carefull to use my time well. Instead of lounging on the couch in front of the tv wasting away. So I've been putting up lots of food, mostly freezing. I also spent the weekend with a very frazzled, very stressed out little sister. Poor teenager! Every morning I make a batch of muffins, eat two, and freeze the rest. Then when I go back to work, I can take them out in small batches, have a quick breakfast or snack, and not have to stop at Dunkin Donuts for a muffin that costs four times as much!
Maybe I should think about freezing coffee. Can you do that? I mean, I keep the grounds in the freezer, but can you freeze prepared coffee?
I'm going to give it a try!
So far, I've frozen 8 cups of salsa, 5 cups of tomato sauce, a bunch of corn, two cups rice, and some cherry tomatoes form the farm down the road. PickYourOwn.org has great suggestions on how to freeze ANYTHING. My favorite suggestion so far was freezing juicy things, or sauces, using a vacuum sealer. The juice will be sucked up by the vacuum sealer, so what do you do? Freeze it in the bag without vacuum sealing it first, then when it's frozen, vacuum it closed and the juice won't be sucked out! Problem solved.

I've also been checking the job boards every day. Many times a day. It's not healthy.

Rainy Saturday

2008-09-27T13:20:00.006-04:00

This whole not-having-a-camera thing is really killing me, but I'll share anyway! I hit the Salvation Army yesterday for some professional clothes, but found more antiques than clothes. Then my little sister and I headed out for a visit to the flea market this morning but it was closed due to rain. Flood watch...whatever. We were Wicked hungry though so we stopped at a diner and found Nancy Jean's Attick, which ironically was located in the restaurant's Basement. But I digress...
We found more antique-y stuff and got to "scratch" that thrift-shopping itch!
Now I'm setting up to make tomato sauce from 7 lbs of tomatoes we picked up down the road. Seriously. I love getting my food from "the farm down the road."
So, while my tomato sauce cooks down, I'll fill you in...I found an old mixer! It's in about ten different pieces, but otherwise it's just like the one my mom used to have. Then of course, is the Theodore Haviland serving bowl and platter. Couldn't find the name of the pattern, or number, but it was definitely one of the french-made ones. I also found a Maddock tea cup and saucer which I matched up to their stamp used in 1927; a missmatched Royal Albert tea cup and saucer, and a teeny tiny Thomas vase, of Germany; two white divided oval Glassbake bowls; and a bunch of other cool stuff.
now, where to put it all...Sounds like it's time for a yard sale!

More Laundry Detergent recipes

2008-09-26T09:27:00.003-04:00

Disclaimer: I love love love Jen's Homemade laundry detergent recipe! It's effective, inexpensive, and makes me feel great for doing both at the same time! But it requires forethought. Which I really don't do well. Even as I watch the last of the detergent get mixed into the last load of laundry...
So I desperately looked for another option...and found TipNut's list of 10 different recipes! I want to try #10 which incorporates vinegar...and yes - it turns into a powdery form eventually. Check it out...

Homemade automatic dishwasher detergent!

2008-09-26T08:20:00.001-04:00

Mrs. Dani comes through for us once again! Here is her wicked easy recipe for dishwasher detergent!

Um...help?

2008-09-25T08:56:00.000-04:00

I have so much to say and it seems like it's all floating up there in my brain and I can't organize my thoughts.
I'm unemployed and searching for a job. I was hoping to have this week off, and start a job next week. Doesn't look like that will be a problem. Except the starting the job next week! I don't do well without structure and I haven't thought much about building structure into my day since I'm "home." Yesterday was a lost day. Tuesday I had a couple appointments to build my day around, but I'm floundering a bit here now.

So my question is, do you work from home, or stay home, or whatever you want to call it...are you home full time...or even part time...and what do you do to build structure and routine into your day...?

I'm back!

2008-09-23T08:34:00.004-04:00

I forgot to post last week about how long I'd be away, but I'm back and have so much to say! Tuesday was my last day at work, I had an interesting counseling session, and Wednesday we left for Dover, Delaware for another NASCAR weekend! Monday night we got home and I slept slept slept!
This morning I got up and went for screening for the National Marrow Donor Program. Nine or ten years ago, before we were married, my hubby's roommate donated bone marrow to a toddler who had a terminal illness. Through his experience, he became involved in local bone marrow donation events. My hubby and I attended one of the "bone marrow drives" where we gave a small amount of blood for type screening. Fast forward to last friday, I got a phone call out of the blue from the marrow donor program. Apparently I'm a potential match for a young man with leukemia. I still may not be enough of a match to help this young man. Only 1 in 12 of donors who get to this stage of screening go on to acutally be enough of a match to donate. BUT I won't know for another 2 months...
And this afternoon I have an interview.
Big doin's.
So sorry about the long absence, but big updates to come...

A bump in the night

2008-09-16T09:56:00.002-04:00

Disclaimer: I love cats. I love most animals. If I weren't allergic, I'd have a house full of animals.

but I digress...

I almost laughed so hard last night, but I knew my hubby wouldn't understand.
When I got home it was sweltering in the house, so I opened the doors and windows (since it was cooler outside!!!) and went in the backyard to relax for a few minutes. I went back in eventually, closed the outside doors, and went on my way about my evening.
Fast forward to 12:45 am.
My hubby turns on the lights in the bedroom and leaves the room, muttering something about getting rid of the cat.
We don't have a cat.
It's obsurd.
I believe he's sleep walking or only half awake and thinking about his dream still. He comes back in the room and starts poking around under the bed saying "come on kitty, here kitty." I'm now awake and seriously concerned for his sanity.
"What ARE you doing?"
"I told you, getting that stupid black cat out of here."
"We don't have a cat."
He gives me a look like "no duh."
"Well somehow it got in here and it was walking all over me while I was sleeping."
I give him a look like "suuuuuure."
Then out of nowhere a black cat streaks from under my side of the bed out into the hall and across to the guest room.
Oh.
I guess there was a cat in the room.
Which would explain the weird sounds upstairs when we were watching tv earlier.
I attempt to go back to sleep, but my hubby is still determined to get the cat out of the house pronto. After listening to him bumble about the guest room, talking sweetly to the "stupid cat," I get up to try to help. We eventually got it out from under the guest bed, then the hope chest, then from behind the bureau. My hubby carried it down the stairs and THREW it out the front door!
I was a little concerned.
Poor cat.

In Memory

2008-09-15T17:36:00.002-04:00

The seventh anniversary of 9/11 was last week. It's not that I forgot. I purposely waited to post. I wanted to really think about what it means to me. You know, beyond the heightened security and general inconvenience of it all. It's not that I'm annoyed by these things, it's that I'm annoyed by the fact that it seems many of my fellow Americans have forgotten the reason why we are abiding by new rules and regulations.
I am not nearly old enough to remember Pearl Harbor, but I remember every year when it comes and goes. I am ashamed to say, it's not because of a relative's death, a military attachment, a reverance for what those men stood for, the turning point in our country's history that day. No, it's because it happens to coincide with the day I met my husband. Yeah. And how many other great, historical dates come and go without pause from the people of this great country and our busy lifestyle? Hundreds, if not thousands.
Then I wonder...how long will it be before I completely forget? How many years will go by before that day in Two-Thousand-Something that 9/11 comes and goes and I don't even think once about the significance of the date and what transpired in 2001? It saddens me to think that what we experienced, what we grieved over, and what took me weeks and months to stop thinking about every day may now be put into a text book and memorized without passion and kids will learn about it with even less passion and once the test is over, it will be promptly forgotten.
I don't have an eloquent way of closing this post. "Never Forget" is both cliche and unrealistic. To say I'm saddened both by the events and by the fact that it's become just another day is both cliche and maybe a bit naive. Any trauma that we experience will eventually heal. But healing is not forgetting.

Babies. Sigh.

2008-09-15T12:23:00.002-04:00

Another friend is pregg-o. They're multiplying. And the ones that are multiplying are multiplying. I mean, it's like, epidemic here! {sigh}

And I am tempted to jump on the bandwaggon and say "let's give it another shot" with my hubby, but we've only been in counseling a few months and he's only been alcohol free for a little over a month. I'd be a fool not to anticipate detours in "recovery" ahead, and yet I also think it's foolish to think we're ever going to "have it all together." We are a work in progress. And my hubby's recovery is a work in progress. Heck, I'M a work in progress.

But the synical side of me says my hubby could just be waiting for me to say "let's do it" and then he can start drinking again. And what makes me the pregnancy police?

Looks like we have something to talk about in counseling, huh?

Picking Grapes and Freezer Organization

2008-09-11T13:50:00.004-04:00

Last night my hubby and I decided that it was past time to pick our wild concord grapes for his annual wine-making. The only problem is, the first two weeks of the wine process is an essential time. You must stir up the mash every day of the first two weeks. Well, we aren't going to be around for a good part of the next two weeks! But in the meantime, the grapes are almost past peak and we can't wait any longer to harvest them!

Solution?

Frozen Grapes.

So simple.

Except I had to rearrange the freezer in order to make room for flash-freezing 30 pounds of grapes! Yup. 30 pounds. Oi.

First, I took everything out and put in on the counter. Then I made piles according to like items. My piles ended up being: Veggies, uncooked meat, cooked meat, fish, icepacks (medicinal or for lunch boxes), & staples (like butter, frozen spices, eggbeaters). I then used shoe-box size plastic bins (labeled, of course) to hold three of these categories. The staples and icepacks went on the door, the open veggies and cooked meat went in one bin, fish in another, and uncooked meat went in another. I also had a few items that didn't fit in the bins, like unopened bags of veggies and family packs of meats. Well, that's okay. Because just organizing what I was able to do was a huge help! I'd already cleaned out the whole bottom shelf!

Just imagine how much more space I can make if I actually finish the job!

Ah, the sweet, familiar strains of...

2008-09-10T10:43:00.002-04:00

...depression. Well, maybe not sweet. But familiar, yes. I spoke with my counselor awhile back about how many of my episodes seem to come after major events in my life. Like getting married, a flood, a job change...

So this week I've been noticing more and more of my behaviors drifting toward depression mode and Uh-Oh!

I have fought it off for most of the year, I can keep it up!

I think what is getting me right now is the uncertainty of it all. Yes, this is something I've wanted for awhile, but under my own terms, in my own time. God (and my boss) had different ideas. I've already had an interview and have a few other applications in to other companies. I'm not concerned about loosing pay, but not knowing what the future holds for me is very hard.

Long time, ...

2008-09-08T16:41:00.004-04:00

I think this is the longest I've ever gone without posting on this blog! 4 long days.

Well, to catch you up...the biggest news of all...I've only got two weeks left in my current job. I met with my boss this morning and he said let's transision sooner rather than later, offered to keep me for two weeks and I guess that's that.

I feel like my head is spinning!

And with that, I'll go back to scrambling to make sense of it all...oh, and I have an interview in the morning.

Angry Chicken

2008-09-04T13:21:00.003-04:00

I don't know why it's taken me so long to check out Angry Chicken, but alas, it has. Maybe it's because of the name. Sounded, idon'tknow...angry? But it's actually quite fantastic!
Don't let the name turn you off, check her out! (If there's anyone out there besides me who HASN'T already fallen in love with her blog!)

Naturally...

2008-09-04T12:39:00.001-04:00

Finally, a simple solution to household cleaning.

decisions...

2008-09-04T11:02:00.004-04:00

Dang it, today I want to stay!
I don't want to look for another job.
I don't want to leave this place that's become like home to me.
I don't want to leave one less-than ideal job for another that's just as "less-than-ideal."

Decisions, Decisions.

Will I ever make up my mind?

Honestly...

2008-09-03T17:43:00.002-04:00

I had a sit-down with my boss this afternoon.
My work is becoming effected by my lack of motivation. {and lack of sleep, etc}
He asked if everything was alright.
You know, it would almost make it easier if he was a little less understanding!
I let him know I'm casually looking for another position.
In the end he said these things happen, people change, interests change, now we can be open about it and prepare for my departure if that's what I decide to do.

But, he said, either way I need to make a decision soon.
And that we'd talk again next week.

Oh boy.
Decision time.

I looked online...no HR openings in my "level" anywhere near home. Or even as far away as I already am. But do I take that as "a sign" to stay? I don't think God works that way.

August Challenges

2008-09-03T12:07:00.004-04:00

30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge
Things are really changing in our marriage. I think in part due to this challenge, but also because of our counseling and a renewed attitude. After all, if I didn't have a better attitude, I wouldn't have taken the challenge to begin with!

Buy nothing new challenge
I think I did fairly well. I did make a few small purchases, but only after carefull deliberation and seeking alternatives. I want to keep it going, but in a more relaxed sense. I think just having an attitude of resistance to making brand new purchases is a start.

Stash Month
Nothing. Not one piece of new material entered the house! I did get some crafting books at a yard sale, and some free fabric, but I didn't have to buy the fabric and the books were a dollar a piece! (And I didn't go overboard!)

org junkie's mudroom challenge
Flop. What can I say, I'm not superwoman! I went looking for a bench on my yard sale treck last weekend, but came up empty. I did find a great key hook-y thingy to hang on the wall though, and have plans for when we tear off the mudroom. So I think October will be mudroom month as that's when construction is under way! September is all about the office! And not a moment too soon! I'm so deleriously happy that my camera is busted because if you thought the mudroom pics were bad, I don't even want to PEEK at the office! Yeah, we usually close that door when company comes over.

Quit Now Challenge: Snooze
Yeah. Snooze button. Who'd have thought there would be something even harder to quit than ice cream. Didn't happen. Still not wonder woman. She wouldn't have to sleep, much less use the snooze!

Steadfastness

2008-09-02T16:41:00.004-04:00

Today I spoke with my counselor about the concept of steadfastness. It rang in me feelings of calm, endurance, gently flowing, not interupted, not erratic, not overwhelming. He encouraged me to target three areas of my personal life where I could become more steadfast. Immediately coming to mind were cleaning my kitchen, reading from my reading list, and having a regular quiet/bible study/prayer time.
I recall all of the goals I'd been setting mid-August and how overwhelmed and ultimately counter-productive that ended up being. Bill was carefull to specifically limit me to three areas to work on at first.
So I'm going to start with a clean slate/blog and have goals just for those three areas of my life. The reason they're so important is because they are the places where I need the most work. When the kitchen isn't clean and organized, I retreat and cannot think clearly about anything else. The same could be said for my desk at work! The key is not just to get it clean and organized though, it's to maintain this order, to form a habit of orderliness, to become a finisher.

Candida-Related Sites

2008-09-02T13:09:00.004-04:00

I'm getting my butt back in gear and preparing to tackle the most impossible of diets and that is the dreaded Candida Diet. {sigh}

If you really want to know more about it, check these out:

~Yet another new blog by your's trully: My Candida Journey.

~Basic information at About.com

~A holistic approach at Holistic Health Solutions.

~A free ebook on an easy home test (spit into a glass of water...way cheap!) and suggestions on treatment at SubtleNRG.com or go directly to the report at The Candida Fix. It will ask you for referrals, but they are not necessary for getting the free report. It will be e-mailed to you whether you provide referrals or not! The spit test is described in the report.

~A blog devoted to all things candida related! Amazing amount of information here!

~A long list of what you can and cannot eat. Oi.

~Interesting link...it's an e-book for sale. The "hook" follows:"Please don't waste money on supplements that do nothing but chase symptoms - I have been there so you don't need to.What You Need To Understand Is How To:Identify And Eliminate The Root Causes That Create The Perfect Breeding Ground For Candida Yeast.If you want a solution that is Effective, And One That Gets Fast Results -- Then Click Here To READ MY STORY" My normal policy is not to post/ advocate/ recommend sites that are strictly sales sites, but I've purchased the book & haven't had time to read it yet. I'll update here with my impressions so if you wish, wait for my report back by the end of the week (9/6/08) before you shell out $24 & change for it...

~Another interesting link, Candida Free. I've only skimmed it so far, but proves to be chock full of info. It does recommend product sales, but you don't have to buy a book!

Menu Plan Monday

2008-09-01T05:45:00.008-04:00

First I have to share a tip I found for easy Menu Planning. I've searched and wondered and thought about it, and contemplated, but didn't have an EASY, organized approach to Menu Planning. This tip makes it so simple!

Okay, as for my Menu Plan for the week...

Monday:
Crock-Roasted Chicken, using Virginia's idea.

Tuesday:
Jenn's Zucchini Soup

Wednesday:
I'll make my own pasta dough with my breadmaker, then make Pasta Salad to accompany our grilled chicken.

Thursday:
Chicken enchiladas with mexican-seasoned roasted zucchini

Friday:
Tomato basil pizza

Saturday:
Leftovers

Sunday:
Leftovers

Get more great recipe and menu ideas over at Menu Plan Mondays' headquarters!

{cross-posted on Blecipes}

In a Name...

2008-08-30T15:55:00.003-04:00

Saturday:
~I went yard saling and WOW! I hit some great yards! Some of course were duds, but you have to expect that every once in awhile. I limited myself just to Manchester and actually ended up limiting myself to the southern portion of the city just because of logistics. I found a lot of things on my wishlist as well as fulfilling another of my weekend dreams: I found a black velvet sheath dress for tonight's wedding and already have the perfect shawl for it!
I ended up at a friend's yard sale and got to visit for awhile...what a pleasure! I bought her rocking chair, (my feet reach the ground! WoooHooo!) and learned that she'd found it at a yard sale as well! And the cycle continues....
I also repaired my duct tape dress form and now she's wearing my new dress! My hubby approves (I tried it on too,) and I realize I need a name for my duct tape helper!

Unfortunately, I cannot take any more pictures of her because my camera is taking a dream weekend too. I finally got a repair part and figured out how to switch it out but, ooops...tore one of the electronic ribbons. (I have no idea what they're called, just bear with me!)

But I did have this one unadorned clip of her from when we made her last weekend...

So, what do you think I should name her?!

Weekend Dreams

2008-08-29T13:27:00.009-04:00

Yes, Weekend Dreams. Not Weekend Goals. That sounds too much like work. And it just sets me up failing to reach the goals, but if they're dreams, who can be faulted for not fulfilling every last dream?

So Labor Day weekend will be a Dream Weekend! Doesn't it just sound so wistfull, relaxing, dreammy?

But I digress...here are my weekend dreams:
~pickle my cukes
~make granola bars DONE
~make peppermint patties
~see the sunrise over Hampton Beach one of the mornings
~start making paper from junk mail
~start a diy project for the venuszine contest
~figure out what to wear for Saturday night's wedding!! DONE
~set up the new compost bin
~use up the rest of the tomatoes from mom's garden
~install the new backlight in my stupid camera that's not even a year old! Oi. {sigh} (used, got on e-bay) DONE, SORT OF...
~yard saling! But only in Manchester. I took a month off and now I'm letting myself out again. But on a leash! DONE

But first, I have to consider what's already scheduled:
~Fireworks at our friend's house friday night
~Wedding for another friend to her dream-come-true fiance (they're so perfect for each other!)
~Greeting at church Sunday morning
~Hyung may sleep over Sunday night
~Hopefully seeing the sunrise (listed above)

So that leaves me with Saturday and Sunday afternoon and most of Monday.

{can she do it?}
{We shall see!}

{"She" reserves the right to add to or subtract from this list at any moment during the weekend. If she does subtract from the list it in no way reflects an opinion on this blog, but is simple fact. If she adds to the list, it does not indicate a swollen head or arrogant I-can-do-everything attitude, but instead, reflects a dreams-might-still-come-true outlook. If at any time it is suggested that she won't be able to complete the dream list, it's not an indication of failure, but of acceptance that there still aren't 40 hours in a day, and that's okay.}

Added Dreams:
~Tape up my duct tape dress form. Again. (It keeps busting open!) DONE
~Research cost of making a paper-tape dress form
~Ohohoh! Finish the Org Junkie's Monthly Organizing Roundup of our mudroom!
~Find a copy of "Nurturing Silence," a book I saw at the counselor's office this week...
~I just thought of something and between that moment and this {and about 5 things I had to get done before I could do this} I've already forgotten it. Dang. {SATURDAY: I need to come up with a plan for my "food related lifestyle change." Not to be confused with a "diet."}

Subtracted Dreams: (or demoted to "if time allows" status)
~Pickling cukes
~making peppermint patties

Oh, I'm so totally doing this!

2008-08-29T13:17:00.002-04:00

Check out venuszine's 4th annual craft-off contest!
And hurry, the deadline's Sept 18th!
Someone's going to get the Singer 8763 Curvy sewing machine!

...now, what will I make for this?

Note to Self: 6th Edition

2008-08-29T10:22:00.006-04:00

1. I don't have to accept myself the way I am. Some say you should. I say why settle? Yes, being happy with who you are is sometimes healthy. In the right context. But being open to change verses becoming complacent is healthy as well. If you're happy with who you are, but ignoring major flaws of charachter, that's a problem.

2. Be Present. While I'm being pulled in three directions (yes, down from 10!), I have to watch myself. You know the saying "borrowing $ from Peter to pay Paul." I have to make sure I'm not stealing time from Peter to spend with Paul. (Don't tell my hubby!)

3. Objectivity is golden. Through out marital counseling, I had an individual session where all we talked about was my family of origin. "Phil" asked some questions that seemed rather irrelevant at the time, but it really opened my eyes to the deeper dynamics of our family. I think of myself as a pretty intuitive and self-aware kinda gal, but he really helped me see even deeper. It was an incredibly valuable experience being able to gather his objective insight.

4. Delayed Gratification is Sweet. I hope. I haven't been able to get to the Department of Motor Vehicles to officially upgrade my driver's licence to motorcycle operator, so as I drive around town seeing all these people in office clothes atop their sport bikes (so funny to see!), it's a bit of a taunt to me! But I'll eventually have my bike and can start riding just like them, and it'll be sweet indeed!

5. My hubby and I are so in tuned to each other, and we both avoid confrontation so much, that when one is upset, the other retreats. Then the upset one retreats and the other retreats even more. This is a totally stupid spiral that goes on and on. In order to break the cylce, one of us has to change, and it looks like it's going to be me.

6. As far as I've come, as mature as I've gotten, {snort}, I've got a lot to learn.

{Swift River, Kancamagus Highway, near Conway, NH}

{Reflection of a grey heron on Conway Lake in Conway, NH}

My Wishlist

2008-08-29T10:12:00.003-04:00

(Things to look for at yardsales)
seam guide
fiskars soft handled precision scissors for teddy-bear materials
Globe
4 qt crockpot
40 hours in a day (but just as many days in a week)
Permanent Clothesline
Bench for mudroom "area"
"Squarefoot Gardening" (book) (can't remember author)
Canning jars
Canning pot
Magnetic Canning "Wand"
Canning basket
Pantry Shelving units
Coat Hooks
Coat Rack

And my far-out wishes:
Serger (overlock sewing machine)
Housekeeper
Laundry Lady
Dishwasher (person)
Chef
Administrative Assistant
Oh wait. I am an administrative assistant.
Shoot.

ten words

2008-08-29T09:08:00.001-04:00

This is the difference between midnight and 9 am. Laptop and desktop.

63 words

Speed test

the globe in my living room

2008-08-29T00:27:00.002-04:00

Seriously.
I just posted a Note to Self Friday...
Like, yesterday!
Or, maybe the day before....
Yeah, I guess it was a week ago.

{sigh}

I'm sitting in my dark livingroom wishing I was asleep, the windows are open and I hear the crickets and some animal chirping or croaking. Chroaking.
The cool breeze wafts in the window and I try to ignore the sound of the tractor trailer rolling down the highway on the other side of the river.
I couldn't sleep because the upstairs was still so hot from the house being closed up all day, hopefully by the time my eyes refuse to open again the upstairs will be as cool as it is down here. Or it won't matter and I can fall asleep anyway!

I just stopped by Cathy's blog, Keeping it Real at 66 degrees North Latitude and was in for a reality check! They are preparing for frost. (In Alaska) It's August and they're preparing for frost! Only minutes before, I was admiring Tabitha'a patio set which she hopes to use sometime in the next few months when "the temps are bearable!" (In Arizona) Am I the only one that thinks this is funny? Is it because it's after midnight?

Ah, well...I suppose I should be thinking of the things I've learned in the last week...

The typing test

2008-08-29T00:20:00.000-04:00

53 words

Speedtest

Locks of Love

2008-08-28T11:48:00.004-04:00

How's this for Reuse/Recycle/Repurpose:
I tend to grow out my hair, then cut it all off every two years or so. Last time I cut it off, I'd begun hearing about Locks of Love. They "provide hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children under age 18 suffering from long-term medical hair loss from any diagnosis."
I didn't donate my hair that day because I was afraid they wouldn't be able to use it as it was all split ends-ish. To my surprise, I found out later that they would have accepted it!
Fast forward to this past spring/early summer...
My dad had grown out his hair purposely so that he could donate to Locks of Love! He really inspired me to make sure I grew it long enough again before cutting it all off!
I plan to donate my hair as soon as it's grown out enough so that I don't have to have a "boy cut" again! I know, I know, there are great ways of styling short short hair on women, but I always tend to end up looking rather boy-ish for some reason!
Right now, I have about a 5 1/2" pony tail, so although I have quite a bit of hair, I've got a long way to go!

Here are some of the FAQ's I found most interesting:
~Most of their hairpieces are given to children diagnosed with alopecia areata which causes permanent hair loss and has no known cause or cure.
~It can take up to 10 donated ponytails to make one hairpiece!
~These custom hairpieces would cost between $3,500 and $6,000.
~They will sell hair that is too short, gray, or otherwise unusable in order to help offset manufacturing costs.
~They DO NOT throw hair away unless it is wet and moldy or not bundled in a braid or ponytail when it is received.
~You can sponsor a child's hairpiece for a donation of $1,000. Or cut, grow out, cut, grow out, cut, etc...
~Locks of Love is always in need of hair!
~Recipients can reapply for a new hairpiece every 18 months. One recipient could receive up to 8 hairpieces throughout their childhood.
~Because these hairpieces are custom made, they cannot be reused.

Thrifty Thursday: switching from two to one income

2008-08-27T17:53:00.009-04:00

Okay, a few of the ideas I found at thriftideas.com weren't exactly news items. We all probably pretty much know these things or think of them as common sense, but they are good reminders.

Surprise to me:
~You can freeze milk! As a seldom-milk-drinker, I buy the smallest amount possible when I know we'll have use for it, but still often find myself throwing some of it away a week later.

My Favorite Tip:
~Make-ahead your own basic and convenience food supplies. Such as granola, jam, hard-boiled-eggs, applesauce, etc. Sure, we can get them pre-made, but for quite a price!

Announcing: Totally Free Find!!!
I was stoked last night to find Kitchen Manuals Online, where I finally found the instruction manual for my $5 yard sale bread machine! I could have also gone through the manufacturer but every time I've tried in the last month, I get errors! There are also sites out there that will charge $8+ for these manuals! Don't pay for a manual until you've checked this site out! I was able to go directly to a PDF File and save it right onto my laptop.

I've been thinking more and more about living on one income. Neither me or my hubby are executives, making six figures (I don't think we even make 6 figures between us!) so it's not like living on my hubby's income would be simple. Then again, if we were making 6 figures, we'd be living a different lifestyle and the changes necessary for going from two to one income would also be hard.

But let's face it, living in America, in New England (and some other areas) is rather expensive. Yes, we've gotten used to living a certain lifestyle. In my estimation, it's rather frivolous of us to go to two NASCAR races every year (and this year we're adding a third-ouch!). And I think it's frivolous to have "more than basic" cable. I'm sure there are a ton of other things we're spending money on that are totally unnecessary, but I digress.

At stretcher.com I found this article which talks about going from two to one incomes. I loved reading Sue's entire story, but was thrilled at how she ended it: "I think the one thing we have learned from this transition is that time is a commodity that people rarely put a price on and yet it is probably the most valuable thing we possess."

At Kaboose.com, I found another arcticle about switching from two to one income. As I've mentioned, I don't know if we'll be able to have kids or not, but I definitely want to stay home regardless.

The more I think about the ways in which we can save, cut back, and make extra money doing other things, the more I come to realize many of these things take time out of the day. Not that I'm looking for the "easy way out," but I'm being realistic about my abilities and expectations. We still don't have a 40 hour day and I'm still not going home after working all day to weed the garden and sew up crafts to sell and fold the laundry and turn the kitchen into a showplace.

It's just not...gonna...happen.

I haven't even broached the subject with my hubby yet, but I want to make living on his income work. Before I bring it up with him, though, I think I have to have all my little duckies in a row or he'll completely dismiss the idea! I quit my job once before to pursue a career with a direct sales company and it ended in disaster. We were so deep in debt it looked hopeless. Our marriage suffered and I slipped into the biggest depression I've ever experienced. I anticipate that the first words I speak about this will completely shut my hubby down and he'll stop listening.

But I think, given the experience we had before, we can make it work this time. We hadn't changed our lifestyle any. I drove a gas-guzzling SUV, we went out to dinner, I still impulse shopped, we made no changes. We lived in an imaginary world and were rudely awakened by ruining our spotless credit and the phone ringing off the hook from collectors' calls. Ouch.

This time, we have the benefit of our previous experience to teach us what NOT to do.

ABC's of Homemaking

2008-08-27T15:48:00.005-04:00

Not that I'm a homemaker in the sense that I am a SAH-Homemaker, but I am a homemaker in the sense that I still have a home to "make." Right?
I found this over at Sweet P's blog, Coffee Time at Home:

Aprons--y/n If y, what does your favorite look like?
I have two aprons. I usually forget to use them and end up getting oil splatter or chocolate on my regular shirts, but when I do remember to wear an apron, I prefer the bright red one because it's simple and works like a charm. The other one has adjustable straps that are more work than they need to be.

Baking--Favorite thing to bake?
I love baking! I'd have to say my favorite thing to bake is cookies. My hubby's a cookie monster! Other than that, I'm always up for something new!

Clothes line?
Yes!!! But I have a question for y'all. (in all honesty!)
I hang my clothes out before I leave for work and they hang out there for about 10 hours a day. Is that why they are so stiff, or would they still be stiff even if I took them down as soon as they were dry? I use vinegar as fabric softener, but I actually tried some real fabric softener I had leftover with one load and had the same results: Very stiff. Which is fine, I don't mind, but if they'll be softer with less time on the line, I'll do as much as I can on the weekends.

Donuts--Have you ever made them?
I've never made donuts. I'm not much of a donut girl. We do have a FryDaddy deep fryer though and have made chicken fingers, onion rings, stuffed jalapenos, french toast sticks, mozzarella sticks, and much more I'm probably forgetting.

Everyday--One homemaking thing you do every day?
Um, I don't, like, do chores every SINGLE day.
If anything, I throw a load of laundry in the wash most days. (Forget about folding and putting away though, that's actual work!)

Freezer--Do you have a separate deep freeze?
I would LOVE a separate deep freezer! Right now we have our main regular fridge/freezer unit and a separate fridge/freezer unit in the basement that my hubby converted into a kegerator complete with a tap system years and years ago. He never uses it as a kegerator anymore, and it's still usable, just has a hose sticking out of it! The freezer on that unit is standard size.

Garbage Disposer?
No, but now I compost anyway.

Handbook--What is your favorite homemaking resource?
Home Ec 101

Ironing--Love it or Hate it? Or hate it but love the results?
I'm pretty neutral on this. Don't love it, don't dread it. It's just sort of one of those things.

Junk Drawer--y/n? Where is it?
I have two. Three. No, two. Oh, darn...is that other one still a junk drawer? Drat. They are all in the kitchen. My poor, disorganized kitchen.

Kitchen--color and decorating scheme
The walls are a very soft muted green and the decorating scheme is Chili Peppers, so I have lots of red accents.

Love--what is your favorite part of homemaking?
When I have the time to do it without being rushed, I love to cook and bake.

Mop--y/n?
Not so much.

Nylons--wash by hand or in the washing machine?
I used to handwash them when I bought the super expensive good ones at you-know-who's (shhh! it's a secret, after all!) Now I hardly wear them and when I do, they go in the wash, but hang to dry. Well, everything hangs to dry now, but pre-clothesline, those already hung to dry.

Oven--do you use the window or open the oven to check?
I open the door to check. I find it pretty hard to see through the dark glass. Or am I supposed to clean that glass?

Pizza--What do you put on yours?
It's usually the one time we eat off paper plates.
Oh, what I put on IT...olives, sausage, mozzarella, basil, pepperoni, chunky tomatoes.

Quiet--What do you do during the day when you get a quiet moment?
I don't know what I'd do with a quiet moment. I'm much too ADHD for that! Though I do schedule in craft time at night. Sewing, beading, cross stitching, etc.

Recipe Card Box--y/n? What does it look like?
Yes. It's wooden with a slanted top and a holder piece for the "recipe in progress" to rest while you're using it! Fan-tastic!

Style of house--What style is your house?
Cape. Wow. So succinct.

Tablecloths or Place mats?
Either. Right now we're using a classic red and white checked tablecloth (not Vinyl!!!) but I'll go through stages, switching it up every once in a while. Have I mentioned my ADHD?

Under the kitchen sink--organized or toxic wasteland?
Uh - total jumbled wasteland! Trash, recycling, toxic cleaners I still haven't used up so I can replace them with my homemade ones, dustpan and hand broom, garbage bags, mystery containers, etc....

Vacuum--How many times per week?
Per WEEK? Eek! I think I just vacuumed Tuesday night for the first time in a year! (My hubby usually does this as we only have carpeting in the guest room, stairway and a throw rug in the living room. I hurt myself awhile back and he does it all at the same time since I couldn't do the stairs for so long.) To be honest, I think he did it every other week.

Wash--How many loads of laundry do you do per week?
Oh, was I supposed to keep track? Actually, last month there's no way I'd be able to tell you, but since we've been using the clothesline, it works out for me to put a load in every night and hang it out to dry every morning. I probably do this 4-5 times per week now.

X's--Do you keep a daily list of things to do that you cross off?
Sometimes?
(And do you complete said list?) (My attempt at humor)
Uh, ... not usually?

Yard--y/n? Who does what?
My hubby takes care of most of the yard work. I sometimes pitch in, but usually it's just with weeding the strawberry patch or pruning bushes or taking care of the area that gets poison ivy since I don't react to it.

ZZZ's--what is your last homemaking task for the day before going to bed?
Like, every night?
Yeah, I'm not that organized.
Well, I'm beginning to be with the laundry situation. I'll put a load of laundry in the wash just before bed now. But besides that, I'm usually crafting or watching tv by the time bedtime rolls around and totally not in the homemaker mode!

Quite honestly, I'm a terrible homemaker. I can't imagine how I thought I'd be better when I had my own house. Something about pride in ownership.
Yeah, didn't happen. My poor hubby. He's definitely a keeper! He only complains about it about once or twice a year!

More Chore Slogans

2008-08-27T14:53:00.004-04:00

I recently posted a very short list of catchy daily chore reminders and got a few more suggestions. I've since added even a few more, but I think my Mondays and Wednesdays are a bit loaded!

Mending Monday
Menu Plan Monday
Make the Bed Monday (strip, re-make)
Mudroom Monday
Tidy Tuesday (fridge, couch, car, trash, under/around appliances)
Handwash Wednesdays
Watering (houseplants) Wednesdays
Washroom (bathroom) Wednesdays
Weeding Wednesdays
Thursday?? (How about Thrifty Thursday - I must find one new thrifty idea to share!)
Thank you Thursdays (send thank you notes or any kind of friendly correspondence)
Finance Friday (bill pay, balance checkbook, update quicken)
Floor-me Friday (dust, vacuum, sweep, wash floors)

Any other ideas?

Eco-Frugality

2008-08-27T12:08:00.008-04:00

Somehow I missed Hot Topic Tuesdays over at a very mary design. It was fantastic what she wrote about and the comments that generated had loads of examples about smart ways to "go green."

Very Mary ended her post by asking "how has the Green movement effected you and yours?"

My Comment:
"I have just begun thinking more about this in the past few months because I felt I was just one person, how much of a difference could I make? But I finally decided to do something about it when I saw how economical greener living could be (when not buying into SOME of the green marketing ploys out there). First I stopped buying new clothes, then it spring boarded from there...we re purpose, recycle, or compost almost all of what we used to consider trash, use hankies and rags instead of Kleenex and paper towels, use a clothesline instead of the dryer, driving the speed limit instead of wasting gas, use fans during the day (while we're not home) instead of running the AC ALL DAY LONG (While We're Not There!!!) and so much more! It's really incredible the different ways you can "go green" when it just makes economical sense!"

But I forgot that I also:
~Make my own household cleaners
~Use reusable grocery bags
~Got my motorcycle licence
~We've used a built-in water filter system for years (no bottled water)
~Planning a veggie garden for next year
~Reuse plastic baggies (unless they had raw meat in them. I know you CAN clean them, but I don't want to take any chances with that!)
~Drive with as little weight in the car/trunk as possible (saves on gas mileage)
~Put two 1-litre bottles of rinse water in the toilet tank (saves 2 liters of water for every flush)
~If/when we have kids, I plan on using cloth diapers and using more old-t-shirt-rags instead of wipes (and forget about the wipe warmer!)
~Unplug the TV, appliances, etc when not in use.
~As a carpenter, my hubby brings home the extra cuttings from the lumber they use and we have a backyard fire almost every weekend with them instead of just tossing it all in a dumpster.
~Since my company shreds confidential documents then piles that shredded paper in the general trash, I take it home instead to use for making my own recycled Christmas Cards.

But I wonder if she was actually asking not "what do you do that's green," but "how is your life different with the changes that you've made?"

I think the biggest change in my life is a total difference in perspective. I blogged awhile ago about how I no longer shop just for clothes, but I shop for clothes with an eye for the fabric.
First of all, I don't shop for new products unless absolutely necessary. I'll search for a used item before I'll break down and buy used.
So when I go to a thrift shop and check out the clothes there, I'm no longer looking for something that fits me, or even a specific color or fabric, I just shop with an eye out for something that catches my interest.

What have I purchased new recently?
~Bound Index Cards which will stay bound, I'm making them into a book (and they were made from recycled materials)
~An outlet timer. (I think that's what it's called. People often use them when they go on vacation so their lights will come on and go off at different times of the day, making it look like they are still home. I didn't want to take any chances on a faulty timer, so I bought new.)
~Flash Drive (not taking any chances with polluting my laptop!)
~Memory Card for my camera (ditto the above for my camera!)

I also find myself getting the motivations of "Eco-friendly" and "frugality" mixed up in my mind a lot. I am motivated first to be frugal, then to be Eco-friendly. Then I get immersed in the whole concept of being Eco-friendly, and I think of other ways to save money (yes, switching back again) because so many of the ideas for being Eco-friendly are also frugal!

It's a wonderful spiraling train of thought and I'm just so psyched to be making such wise choices and changes in my life!

Other changes I've made that are more frugal than Eco-friendly (not to say that they aren't Eco-friendly though!):
~Making most meals from scratch
~bringing coffee & lunches to work instead of "fast-fooding"
~Stash Month - I haven't bought a single sewing or craft item for all of August!
~First limited my yard saling to the city I live in, then restricted all yard saling activity for a month. (Lot's of gas being used driving all over "tarnation"; and money spend on yard sales is the same as money spend at another "sale", albeit less expensively...but still...)

And Eco-Frugal things I do:
~taking the 30+mpg car instead of the 20-mpg truck unless absolutely necessary (for moving things or camping with lots of cargo)
~adding uncooked pasta to cold water then boiling, shutting off the stove and letting it sit for 10 minutes
~eating more raw veggies and fruits (Eco-Frugal and healthy too, oh my!)
~bought the outlet timer (above) so I can use my old crockpot that doesn't have an automatic shut off instead of going out and buying a third crockpot!!! (Which I really really wanted to do!)

So what do you do that's Eco-Frugal?

Clanging Cymbal, Resounding Gong

2008-08-27T11:25:00.006-04:00

I recently ran across this post over at to the ends of the earth, and it spoke to my heart. Among other things, this jumped out at me and I can't help but to share:

Winston Churchill once said, “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.” The only way to say this better is found in 2 Corinthians 9:7 - 8, “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.”

In turn, this sparked in my heart the begining of the "love chapter," 1 Corinthians 13:

1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Then I was reminded of a lesson I recently heard in a training. The last few verses in 1 Corinthians 12 gives even more meaning to these above verses:

27 Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28 And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? 31 But eagerly desire the greater gifts.

It reminds me that we all have a specific place, a job, a function to fulfill, according to His design. Like a puzzle, we are the pieces, each with a unique design and coloration and we all fit together PERFECTLY ... when we are fulfilling our designed purpose and serving IN LOVE.

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

And when we give from the heart, it makes all the difference. Giving for the sake of giving for some reason has so much less of an impact, doesn't it? To give for a tax write off? Not so much. I'm not saying you shouldn't write off your giving. It just makes sense to do so. But what is your motivation? Is the tax write off an extra bonus or is it the main reason you're giving?

conTemplative Tuesdays and new goals

2008-08-26T17:07:00.007-04:00

I'd really like to bake or cook something new or from scratch every day.

But is it realistic?

I'd like to do a lot of things every day, but there's still not 40 hours in a day.

If I had 40 hours in a day, I'd work 8, sleep 10, make all my meals from scratch, can something, sew something, hang the laundry out every day (weather permitting), cross stitch something, find new resources for my furniture ministry, plant something, harvest something, blog awhile, have tea with a new friend, visit sick kids, spend time relaxing with my hubby, and take a nap.

But there aren't 40 hours in a day and I still have to work 8, sleep 6 or 7, attend to personal hygiene, eat occasionally, commute, hopefully spend time with my hubby, and of course blog. (LOL!)

So I'll settle for making something new or from scratch at least once a week.

I learned something last night.

I had a lot to do, my sister is coming over tonight and my house was a MESS. There was so much to do to prep for her, plus other things I really wanted to get done.

In the past I'd have obsessed over it the whole way home, speeding, obsessing, going faster, obsessing, going over the plan in my head, cutting off people in the road, etc.

I'd get home completely wound up and storm in, create this terrible energy in the house, and get very little accomplished while expending extreme amounts of energy, including stress and negativity, aimed at the nearest victim which by no fault of his own would have been my hubby.
Instead, I chilled. I had a plan. I had it written down (as I usually do,) and I told myself that it was a guide, not law. If things didn't go just the way I wanted them to, I could adjust. After all, she's seen my house in worse shape before.

It worked well. I got dinner made with my hubby's help (unexpected) and the roasted tomato sauce made, I got a lot of cleaning done, some unexpected heart-to-heart conversations with my hubby (unplanned, as they usually are,) and I even willingly let go of some of the chores on my list and just sat and relaxed for a little while.

I wasn't stressed and didn't blast my hubby away with crazy energy. In fact, we had a really good, productive talk.

Now as I plan tonight's crazy busy schedule, I think back and then look at the plan, and think back. Is it really necessary that I do everything on this list? Am I over extending myself again? Do these things matter in the long run? What's going to matter the most in a week? That I tried that new granola recipe or that I spent time 100% focused on Hyung and listened to how homesick she is even though she's glad to be back? What can I cross off my list or put off to tomorrow? What is most important today?

How's this for a new goal:

I'd really like to discern what's most important in the long run each and every day.
Spending time in quality pursuits.
Leveraging what I'm good at to the greatest benefit.
Not to benefit me, but to benefit my goals in life.
To benefit the under resourced, the exploited.
I don't want to rescue them. Well, I kind of do, but I can see that rescuing isn't helping, it's just displacing the problem from one location to another.
I want to assist them, and educate those that take things for granted like being able to drive to a grocery store with lower prices.
I want the work that I do every day to benefit those goals, not earn my boss another trip to Paris or Greece or Scotland, or any number of frivolous luxury vacations he's taken.

I want to live in such a way as to be able to look back without regret for having wasted my talents and opportunities.

Thriftips

2008-08-26T15:21:00.006-04:00

I logged onto Yahoo! this afternoon and my eye was caught by the "Free Stuff" headline. I am so excited to share these with my hubby, and thought I'd share them here too...
Perhaps you're already aware of this, but this took me by surprise. You can view entire tv shows from Fox and NBC Universal at Hulu.com virtually anytime! I was aware that TBS did this and supposed many others did, as well, but the ones I've researched don't. (ESPN, I don't remember what else!)
I've found these networks that currently have full episodes offered online, and I'll add to them as I find more:
ABC
ABC Family
CBS
History
Sci Fi
TNT
lifetime

It doesn't appear that the following networks offer this:
Disney

Discovery(including TLC, Animal Planet, etc.)

Speed

This is of course a very short list, mostly limited to those channels I can think of off the top of my head that I MIGHT watch something on...very limited indeed!

Blocks

2008-08-25T17:20:00.006-04:00

So cool! I found this idea from Martha Stewart by a suggestion from one of the blogs I read regularly, Thimbly Things (isn't that the coolest name?)

I seriously have to consider a whole blog of the craft ideas I don't want to forget about!!! (like my Blecipes blog)

Oi.

Now I totally need to yard sale for old children's blocks and books!

8/27/08: this is my new Craftank blog, just for craft ideas!

Meal Plan Monday!

2008-08-25T12:07:00.005-04:00

This time I may even link up to the main Menu Plan Monday site! It's definitely worth a visit, I've gotten GOBS of recipes from there over the last few weeks...more than I know what to do with!!

Monday:
Crusty Parmesan Zukes & Summer Squash with turkey burgers.

Tuesday:
brown bagging a second lunch 'cuz we'll both be doing other things

Wednesday:
Smoked Corned Beef and zucchini latkes

Thursday:
CORN (clean out refridgerator night)

Friday:
Cornbread and BBQ Chicken with pasta salad.

Saturday:
No Noodle Crockpot Lasagna and our first "harvest" of sprouts!

Sunday:
More CORN!

Sister, Sister

2008-08-25T09:10:00.006-04:00

Wow, the summer went by so fast in some ways and in others, I look back and think there has been so much happening, I don't know how I fit it all in!

My little sister is home, which marks the begining of her senior year in high school. Yes, she's pretty much half my age, and no - she's not really my sister. Hyung (pronounced h-young) is Korean and is going to a private school here in America. My parents are hosting her at their house. She calls them Aunt and Uncle or her Host Parents. At first she called me her Host Sister too, but now it's just sister. And I think it's appropriate. We really have come to be very much like sisters, though neither of us HAS a birth-sister, so who knows, really? LOL.

This little, seemingly innocent life circumstance has prompted me to look back on the last two months since she's been away. Quite by coincedence, I started this blog only days after she left.

This introspection has taken me back to Courage, to Obsession (LOL), to a change in perspective. And I think that became a springboard to so many other things!

Like Wardrobe Refashion, the Quit Now Challenge*, the Buy Nothing (new) Challenge**, identifying good-but-bad-for-you things, establishing Stash Month**, Org Junkie's Monthly Organizing Roundup, the 30-Day Husband Encouragement Challenge, recognizing how I can replace one bad habit by any number of other ones (LOL, but sadly), learning yet again that I need to ask for help, and that often Slow Progress leads to lasting change.

I also did a little rearranging, came to a better understanding of why I don't like my job, realized I could write poetry even when I'm not depressed, (it's just different and doesn't just flow out of me like tears), and had to consider some fairly major life changes (for me).

I really feel that God has been leading me this summer, and my experience with the Cardboard City fundraiser was just one example. It was definitely Worth Experiencing, and was very revealing to me in ways I didn't expect. For example, I really missed my hubby. That surprised me. Really. I haven't held back about how we've been struggling the past few years, and back in May or June we really came to a crossroads: decision time. Stay or Go. And obviously we decided to stay and work on our marriage, but as many of you know, it isn't an overnight thing. That night away from him was quite misserable without him and I totally didn't expect that.

I think about how my hubby and I were when Hyung left last June. We were barely talking, just starting counseling, still afraid to hope. Now we've begun to understand one another better, begun to work together and really gel as a team in a way. It's hard for me to describe, maybe because it's so new, maybe because I don't fully understand it myself yet. But it's different than it's ever been. Ever, in 11 years of knowing each other and 8 years of marriage. Hm.

Perhaps equally profound is the fact that I'm learning, after 13+ years of "dealing with" depression, that I can do things to lessen the impact it has on my life.

And that with just a little nudge, a suggestion, an idea, my whole world-view can change in an instant. That, no matter how much you've got going on, when you put it in perspective, how important is it?

*I had ice cream Saturday night, the first time in 46 days. It wasn't planned, and from the moment our friends said dessert was ice cream, I was conflicted. I wasn't sure if I'd refuse it or not. But I didn't obsess over it and in the end I had a small bowl. It wasn't all I'd remembered it to be, and I no longer crave it! I can drive by an ice cream stand without regret and longing; and I'm REALLY enjoying my mostly-acne-free face!!

**As for the Buy Nothing new Challenge and Stash Month, I have kept pretty much on track. We went to Taco Bell once this weekend and I bought premade food at the grocery store, but other than that, we've pretty much gotten everything we *need* from re-purposing old items or have purchased them used or decided they weren't really a necessity. I do, however have a short list of things I would like to purchase in September. Is that defeating the purpose if we're buying them anyway, just waiting until a new month? Sort of. But I think delayed gratification is good. Especially since we are used to simply whipping out the credit card and getting it when we want it and paying for it for months on end later. This way, we are forced to wait and then we know it's something we'll appreciate more when we do get it...if we still *want* it in September! And as for the Stash Month - I haven't bought a single piece of material, thread, button, nothing! Not even used! Not even on sale! Not Even!

Finally! Another wardrobe refashion

2008-08-24T20:35:00.004-04:00

My hubby and I finally got the chance to make my duct tape dress form...

We started with a two 60' rolls of duct tape, saran wrap and an old over-sized t-shirt...

And boy was it hot in there!

It took about an hour to tape me up, another half hour to finish it...stuff it, tape up the arm holes, etc...

And now I can finish all those tops that really need a dress form to finish them!

Note to Self: 5th Edition

2008-08-22T17:48:00.003-04:00

I just realized it's Friday and I haven't even STARTED my Note to Self piece. I usually start it, um, Saturday.
Yeah.
A little behind.
I guess I let the whole "just relax and give yourself a break every once in a while" mentality hang around a little too long!

1. But I did learn (once again) that I'm not alone in the world! There is at least one other precious misunderstood soul out there that has what I call "sinus days" every once in awhile for no apparent reason! Well, turns out there might be a reason and I should check with my doctor about it.

Don't ya just love blog-land?

2. Hmmm. Let's see. What else have I learned...
Ah yes, clotheslines are wonderful. Especially wonderful are the sheets that are dried on clotheslines. And sheets that are dried on clotheslines make outside-smelling beds that we can sleep on, dreaming of gramma's house in the summertime when she'd open all the windows because she refused to use air conditioning and we could smell the outside all night long.

Mmm. Clotheslines ARE wonderful.

3. Change takes courage. Can't elaborate on that just yet, but trust me on this one.

4. Cameras don't work when you don't charge the batteries. At least the newfangled cameras with batteries that require recharging don't anyway.

5. When I try to think of stuff I've learned throughout the week at the last minute, I don't do so well!

I'll make up for it next week!

What have you learned this week?

Trash to treasure of a different variety

2008-08-22T12:11:00.001-04:00

As I think about gardening next year, I return to another idea I've wanted to implement for quite awhile. And that is composting.
I did a quick search and came up with this post by Wes, who lives in Los Angeles and I thought - if he can do it, I can do it!
Wes uses a trash bin as his compost container and we happen to have two bins of our own. I've found in the last few months that I've taken over "trash duty" that we've been using only one of the bins on a regular basis, so I think I'm going to re-purpose the other one to start my compost bin! (Shhh...don't tell my hubby. He doesn't like change so much!)

8/27/08: this site lists a ton of things that you can use for composting!

100 months of Marriage

2008-08-22T10:57:00.001-04:00

After these past two (or three) tough years in our marriage, I really want to do something special for my hubby. I was thinking about how during our first year, we'd do something special each month on the 22nd (we were married on July 22nd) and today happens to be the 22nd! Then I did the math and realized it's the 96th month that we've been married....and did some more math (ouch) and discovered that while we are on our road trip to Baton Rouge in November, it will be our 100 month anniversary!!
I'm looking for any suggestions for celebrating this milestone, WHILE on the road, AND on a budget. Any ideas? I've got three months to plan!
Thanks y'all!

Once Bitten

2008-08-22T09:47:00.004-04:00

I've been bitten by the gardening bug.

*sigh*

It was bound to happen!

Even though I've been, shall we say, a bit remis in my gardening attempts in the past, I'm gearing up and planning next year's garden! It seems every day I add to the list of things I want to grow. I'm especially interested in the types of things that "thrive on neglect" like horseradish!

Here are pictures of my harvest from Mom's garden the other day. The giant zuke is actually 16". I thought it looked about the length of an infant (aprox 18-22") but now I realize they probably have their legs all scrunched up when I'm holding them! (And I have no sense of time or space!)

Blissfully Quilted

2008-08-21T16:20:00.002-04:00

Jo, over at Blissed Out is having a fantastic baby quilt giveaway. Hop on over and take a peek! Her story is really inspiring and touches my heart.

The possibilities are endless...

2008-08-21T13:47:00.008-04:00

I'm sitting here, thinking about my infant-sized Zuke and thinking "I swear I heard something about a zucchini recipe just yesterday." Indeed, I finally recalled Jana's Zucchini Challenge and am planning my dinner and skipping lunch to save room for her Parmesan Crusted Zucchini. And since this 7.5 lb/2' zuke is going to go far, I'm thinking of trying Suzie's latkes too! Maybe I'll make some Zucchini Bread or try frying some of it up like my friend did this weekend. MMmmmm...

Or maybe I'll try Jenn's Zucchini Soup. Maybe freeze some for the long raw days of late February when you start forgetting what home-grown veggies tasted like.

Do you have a favorite Zucchini recipe?

How about eggplant? I have two huge eggplants and I have to admit, I'm not a big fan. Help me discover the greatness of eggplant! (I hate to see it go to waste!)

I also got a couple jalapenos, sweet banana peppers, TONS of tomatoes of all kinds (green, roma, beefsteak, etc.), some green beans (my hubby actually likes these!), summer squash, and a mystery pepper.

I also think I'll save some of the seeds to start my own plants next year. Anyone have any seed-saving advice? The last time I had a vegetable garden, I was 8 so I'm a bit of a newbie, though I'm sure a lot will come back to me. I just hate to pay good money for store-bought seeds when I'm simply throwing my own away (or eating them) while I could be saving a few for next year!

Tomorrow I'm going back to mom's garden one last time while "garden-sitting" and I'm hoping the spaghetti squash is ready!

I decided to start a listing of my favorite "Blecipes," recipes I find on my blog list. I think it could become a verrrrrrry long list!

Chore Slogans

2008-08-21T11:50:00.003-04:00

I've come up with some catchy slogans to remind myself what I should be trying to accomplish each day.

Mending Monday
Tidy (fridge) Tuesday
Handwash Wednesdays

What are some of the funny things you do to remind yourself of your chore routines?

Mixing Metaphors: Vegging Out The Ears

2008-08-21T11:41:00.005-04:00

Last night, it was about harvesting aproximately 30lbs of veggies and then vegging out: cuddling up with my hubby to watch Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International. Dracula's castle was a bust. Oh well. High expectiations I suppose. But the other place they investigated was great!

I got no sewing done, but I did make it home from my mom's garden just in time to take my clothes down from the clothes line before they got dewed on. My poor hubby. He's so stressed out about the folks that he trudged out to the clothesline, grabbed his comfy pants off the line, (left everything else to the mercy of the setting sun) and plopped himself on the couch. No fun anticipating the worst. (Not productive either, but I've got enough to do working on myself!)

I did manage to straighten up my sewing table a bit so that I'm ready to go if I get the chance to tonight. I caught sight of the fabric for the burping cloths that I want to make for my dear SIL. I can't wait to get started on them! I got pictures of their nursery this morning and I'm getting all kinds of ideas for the baby's cross stitch.

But before I load myself up with even more projects than I know what to do with, I have to go back and read this as a reminder not to get obsessed! (Again.)

Profound moments

2008-08-20T12:20:00.004-04:00

Monday and Tuesday nights were spent making furniture deliveries for our church ministry. I have to tell ya, it might mean more work, but it might make sense to make home visits before we all head out with four cars going in circles! The first night we didn't have to turn around at all, but last night got very confusing. Way downtown the numbers on the apartment houses are teeny tiny and at night a 9 looks like and 8 and then you realize - you gotta lug that thing across the street now!!

But the most profound moment came at our last stop Monday night. The guy lived on the fourth floor WITH an elevator, (Seriously, thank you, Lord!) and we got the couch and the kitchen table and the chairs up and into his apartment and started helping him put the legs on the table. There's four of us and we're all kneeling on the floor, working on the legs and he starts telling us his story.

He was homeless. Lost everything, and ended up staying in a rent-a-room sort of situation. Except it ended up being a crack house. In March, he somehow met this lady who works with a non-profit group downtown. She got him help through her program which provides security deposits and job programs for the homeless so they only have to come up with the first month's rent instead of double. He's disabled, but was able to get a job near his new apartment.

Then he looked up from what he was doing and said "the most important thing I've learned from all of this is to ask for help."

That is one thing that God has been trying to pound into my brain since before I can remember. I'm altogether too independent.
The guy was very appreciative but not in a sticky-sweet way. Gentle. He was very gentle. It reminded me of a scripture that says in a nutshell - you never know when you may be serving an angel of the Lord. He just had that sense about him that was gentle, genuine and not appologetic or gushy.

It never ceases to amaze me how by serving others, I am blessed beyond measure.

Bucket List Revised

2008-08-19T09:14:00.001-04:00

In my original bucket list, I listed all the things I want to do in my lifetime, things I don't want to forget, things I dream of. Many things I'm sure won't happen, but it's fun to imagine.
While I visited the list over the last few weeks, I've made up my mind that some of the things I've "always wanted to do" are really not things I care deeply about any longer. They sound good, but they aren't deep personal desires of mine.

So here is my revised Bucket List:

-experience parenting (whether via giving birth, adopting or foster parenting)
-see Niagara Falls
-visit Australia
-see the Grand Canyon
-visit Ireland
-be professionaly trained by a pastry chef
-take a photography course
-have a family reunion at a log cabin on a lake and sit on the porch in matching rocking chairs with my hubby, watching our kids and grandkids play and visit.
-work with inner city youth

(I still want to do this, but it's not exactly a burning desire of mine. More like something I think I SHOULD do.)
-learn a foreign language

(these really aren't bucket list items and should just be on my goal list)
quit coffee
quit dairy
quit processed sugar
quit the snooze button
quit yeast
regularly declutter
regularly exercise
regularly print and frame photos
regularly update quicken
regularly read 1/2 hour every day from my reading list
regularly write poetry (I'm realizing this can't be forced. I write really well when I'm upset. Happy poems aren't in me. I don't want to be upset on a regular basis, so this goal "kicks the bucket!")

(these really are more like interesting things I'd enjoy learning more about)
In order of most to least interest:
learn how to do flatwork (a beading technique)
learn crochet
learn cutting
learn to knit (more than a scarf)

(This is something that when I was very young, I heard others say they wanted to do and the idea of it is really great. Reallistically though, it isn't high on my personal list. More a romanticized idea of a young girl wanting to see the world.)
see every continent

What do you think of a staggered plan of sorts?
I mean, here I am - at 31 years old, listing off things I want to do before I die. I know this list will be quite different for people in different stages of their lives, but I'm thinking it would be good to create a 5 yr plan, 10 year plan, 20, etc...
I like the idea because it takes some of the pressure off.

So here's my bucket list in stages:

-see a sunrise at the beach or from a great vista at least once a year

5 year plan: (by 36)
-take a photography course
-see Niagara Falls

7 year plan: (by 38)
-experience parenting (whether via giving birth, adopting or foster parenting)

10 year plan: (by 41)
-see the Grand Canyon

15 year plan: (by 46)
-work with inner city youth

20 year plan: (by 51)
-be professionaly trained by a pastry chef

35 year plan: (by 66)
-visit Ireland

45 year plan: (by 76)
-have a family reunion at a log cabing on a lake and sit on the porch in matching rocking chairs with my hubby, watching our kids and their kids play and visit.
-visit Australia

A weekend of Traditions

2008-08-18T08:58:00.010-04:00

This was our 2nd annual Saco River Rafting trip with two other couples. Parts of the river are notorious for wild parties, but we visit the less-traveled section just up river from that.

The weekend was filled with traditions, old and new:

First up is Friday night's snack after everyone is set up and we can relax for the first time around the fire. My hubby pulls out his open-fire grilling rack and we have turkey kielbasa. Just a few bites for each of us is the perfect topping to a hectic day and the perfect christening to start the weekend. We don't do turkey kielbasa for health reasons, one of the ladies has no gallbladder, so can't have pork. Fine with me...turkey kielbasa is surprisingly fantastic!

Oh, and our campfires are usually made up of 2X4's that are leftovers from my hubby's jobs. Not exactly the romantic fire of my dreams, but it puts out the heat just as well!

This is our "tent," among other things! Didn't turn out quite as convenient as I thought it would be, but it certainly was dry! This may or may not continue to be a tradition (depending on the weather!)

Breakfast the first morning is usually big and hearty because lunch on the river is easy-to-carry snack-type foods. Enter my hubby's Cheezy Eggs. Recipe: a dash of milk. a dash of pepper, a dozen eggs and 12 oz grated cheddar. Mmmmm... and the best. blueberries. ever.

And peaches. Can't forget the peaches! One of the couples lives right next to a fantastic farm stand and brings all the fresh local fruits and veggies we can possibly consume (and more!)

And we can't forget my hubby's coffee. We used an $8 percolator for a few years, but it takes forEVER (according to my hubby who cannot function without caffeine) so he treated himself to this spiffy new unitasker this year! And of course, we still use the little teapot for our hot cocoa and teas! (Especially when we're finished with our next tradition...)

Here we're all lined up ready to go rafting...waiting for two of the guys to get back from dropping off the car at the bottom of our trip!

Rafting in the rain. Mmm. Not our favorite tradition. Last year it was overcast almost all day and rather miserable, but we made the best of it and made a pact that we'd be smarter in the years to come. Well, they all came on with startlingly similar cases of amnesia and wanted to raft thought I was going to stay behind. It was forcasted for rain and thunderstorms even though Saturday morning it was so hot. I finally convinced myself to go when they were getting all sunscreened up and changing into their suits and getting all excited!

If you catch a peek at the top/center of this pic you can see the leaves are already changing!! Of course, it's at 2,369 feet above sea level, but still...it's August 16th!

... and 15 minutes after we got in the river, it started sprinkling. But the water was moving pretty swiftly because it was about twice as high as it was last year. The trip last year took about 5 hours, this year's was only about 3 1/2. (Thankfully!!)

Eventually we caught the thunderstorm (or it caught us!) and we headed for the treeline. It got preety cold with the rain and wind and already being soaked, but we got through it dreaming of a new tradition for next year - scuba diving in the carribean!

This is my hubby's mess kit from boy scout days. He made the casing himself for his sewing merit badge. It hasn't held up TOO well, but after all-it has been 20 years! One of the many projects I'd like to take on this fall is re-sewing his pouch. Or maybe just fixing the blown seams and putting a new snap on it. We'll see. I'm not sure how he'll take it. He's very sentimental about these things and may like it just the way it is!

I sometimes call him my LeatherMan. He uses his Leatherman almost constantly when we're camping or hiking. My tough guy!

And of course, there's the tradition of me taking all kinds of random, mostly nature-related photos!

Quite by accident, we ended up camping at the same campground that our premarital "marriage mentors" camp at every year (for two whole weeks!) and we got to do some visiting before we left Sunday afternoon. It was so great to catch up. We exchanged e-mails, so hopefully we'll have a little better luck keeping in touch this year!

While there, we got a visit from a heron and I got to snap away! Did you know they nest in trees and in communities? It just seemed odd to me. I've never seen more than one at any given time and I don't really know why the thought of them nesting in trees sounds odd, it just does!

Overwhelmed

2008-08-15T14:20:00.004-04:00

Here's a question for y'all:

How do you manage
-simplifying your life
-working a full time job
-implementing cost-savings lifestyle changes that add time to your chores
-implementing health-savings lifestyle changes that add time and quality to your life but also take time and energy from your day
-participating/leading/coordinating two volunteer/mission projects
-stoping to smell the roses
-challenging yourself to grow in many different ways (and hopefully not horizontally like me)
AND
-doing it all well
-not feeling pulled in 10 different directions at once

-(and I don't even have kids to take care of!)
Oi
No wonder I'm in counseling.
Which is sort of a ha-ha statement, but more in a "ha-ha...ha...that's not really funny is it?" sort of way.

One answer I just thought of (aha moment): As much as I enjoy the shows Bones, House, the Bill Engvall Show, Ghost Hunters, Cheers reruns, and watching live NASCAR races, I simply don't think I have time for them anymore!

And then of course there's the more obvious answer:

You Don't.

So perhaps I have to give up one (or five) of those things!
-Like leading/coordinating two missions (participating is still an option, isn't it?)
-And of course the one I really want to give up is the full time job, but let's be realistic, here.
-Maybe Challenging myself to grow in MANY different ways is a bit much. One or two is more at pace with reality.

Maybe the answers will come to me this weekend as I float on Conway Lake between scattered showers and the threat of thunderstorms.
Or around the fire.
Yeah.
Probably around the fire.

Eat Local Challenge, October 2008

2008-08-15T12:05:00.004-04:00

I've taken the Eat Local Challenge for October 2008. I'm really looking forward to it! I used to assume local and organically grown/raised food was more expensive that chain store prices, but as I dug deeper and deeper, I found that becoming a part of a CSA is actually incredibly cost effective. (More about CSA's at the bottom of this post.)

I was also impressed by one person's experience as she took meticulous records and calculated the cost of her average day's worth of food consumption. It's a real eye opener!

I can't tell you the main reason why I took this challenge, as there are so many reasons and so many aspects of it that I'm looking forward to.

First, it's supporting the local economy. But that wasn't even a consideration to me at first. Let's face it. I am pretty self-centered. I'm not one to say "ask not what my local economy can do for me, ask what I can do for my local economy." (Or switch "local economy" with just about anything else!) It Sounds good. It Fells good, but realistically? Good or bad, no, it's not the mindset I've developed over the years. But now? Now it's definitely a consideration. Especially after my experience with the "farm stand" acros the stree from work. (Sold Carolina peaches, as if they were grown in NH. Ptuey! I go to a local farm stand, I want local grown food!)

I'm looking forward to meeting my neighbors!
I can't wait to experience food fresh from the farm.
I'm eager to rise to the challenge of finding all of my food from local sources.
I love the idea of canning my own (or my own CSA'd) pickles and tomatoes and peppers and jellies and *sigh* so much more!
As much as I have to admit what I consider my weakness in not being able to fish or hunt (or raise peculiar and oddly-loveable chickens) because I simply cannot kill them, I am also simply not going to become a vegitarian.
But I can visit the farms, help out, learn about raising the cattle and chickens and other livestock, and leave the rest to my probably-even-worse imagination.
Actually, we had a chicken coop growing up in Alaska and I'll never forget my Mom explaining why we didn't eat chicken much. (It was pretty hard on Dad having to kill them and pluck the feathers out, etc.) I was pretty young and probably was told to go play at a friend's house when this was going on, so I literally don't have any memories of it.
Another reason is that I've been living vicariously through Bee and Susan's experiences this summer and am really eager to join in!

For thos of you who, like myself, don't know what a CSA is, it is "Community Supported Agriculture" where area residents purchase a share of the farm and in exchange, they receive a portion of the weekly harvests!

Sounds expensive, right? That's what I thought. But look around, check out the CSA's near you, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised (or shocked) at some of the deals you can find!

Here is my consolidated list of references and sources for locally grown/raised food. Many of the links are to National Directories, so even if you don't live in NH, it's worth taking a look at.

Note to Self: 4th Edition

2008-08-15T01:02:00.000-04:00

1. It's important to have goals, and it's important to have them in front of you. Since my blog has pretty much become my personal Internet-central, I've decided to post my goals here. But since this is contradictory to a previous lesson - that I really need to declutter my sidebar - I've also decided to take other simplifying measures and post some of my lists in actual posts and just have links on my sidebar. So over the past week, I've moved my my bucket list, my collections, my reading list, and things I don't want to forget to someday talk about, (as well as my goal setting). Hopefully this will help to alleviate some of the visual clutter and make the blog more welcoming!!

2. Tanaya challenges me. Stretches me. I don't just relate to her, I am inspired by her. In contrast, I also relate all-too well to Jana's Emotional Hangover.

3. I dug out the paper making kit I found at a yard sale this summer. I want to make my own paper for Christmas cards this year, and am thinking about getting a head start. The packaging had some very interesting facts about paper usage statistics in North America. The kit was manufactured in 1991. This lead me to hop online and look for more current stats on how much we rich North Americans use! I found this old information from 1994; this site (which markets "green paper"), the average year of their references was 2001; this was a particularly interesting site which made me think beyond paper and garbage but more about the garbage trucks, salaries, taxes...you see where I'm going.

It didn't take long until I said to myself: self, it doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of difference whether I find an accurate number or not, the truth is we use and throw away a heck of a lot of paper that could be recycled. And I have the tool to recycle it myself. I continued reading the paper-making kit box and saw that I'd been assuming some wrong information. I figured I'd be able to recycle envelopes, newsprint, etc but not glossy paper like many fliers in the mail come. Wrong. I can use it all! Then I thought about my garbage can at work. Paper bags from fast food restaurants, envelopes, fax cover sheets, the glossy back of sheets of labels...it can all be used!

4. The deeper I dig* and the more I learn, I am astounded at the waste I create just by going along in my day to day life. I've never considered myself an extravagant person, but in contrast to the majority of the rest of the world that lives in unimaginable conditions, I am indeed living an extravagant life! So now I've found yet another expense I can withdraw from my budget - new paper! And can appreciate what paper I DO use (then recycle) a little more. Now I'm shredding everything at work...even non-confidential paper, (and paper fast-food bags) and bringing it home. I may ask for a non-homemade item for my birthday this year - a really good paper shredder for the house!

I'm most excited to share this site which talks about how they used to make paper in 1889; and Elizabeth's Flowers has kits to sell. (I'm not endorsing it, it just seemed like the lowest priced kit I found so far...) and I discovered that Elizabeth herself has a great blog as well!

I think it's important to note - the first link there has directions that make it sound REALLY complicated and pretty cumbersome! It's not. It's not as easy as going out and buying a ream of paper, but it's not that hard either!

*every SINGLE time I read "the deeper I dig," I read it the digger I deep. It's the strangest thing!

5. My hubby and I are fans of the sci fi channel shows Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International. This is odd in one sense because I'm NOT a fan of horror or sci fi flicks of any kind. Granted, GH and GHI are nothing like a horror flick, but I generally stay away from any shows involving the paranormal. Not that I don't believe in the paranormal - I do believe, I just don't tend to want to purposely watch it.

So getting back to the point - we're fans of the show and often times will discuss the cases during commercials and later on. There's the interesting differences between the residual hauntings and intelligent hauntings, the debate over what constitutes proof, criteria used for declaring a site as haunted, etc... A residual haunting is like a tape that plays over and over again. It comes back seemingly without reason. You can't prompt it or make it "play," neither can you make it go away. It does it's thing whether you're there or not.

Now stay with me here...

I'm a little bit concerned about my plastic cup. If you haven't been "watching," it's stinky. Real stinky. It actually smells like skunk. *shiver*

I tried a deodorizing method I found online, to no avail.

I asked for input and got a great suggestion to use peroxide. It soaked for 13 hours. I emptied it out, rinsed, sniffed and *grin* it smelled like a clean plastic cup! So I set it on the drying rack and headed to work, got back home and went to happily sniff my newly deodorized cup and got a nasty surprise.

The stink was back.

Remember what I said about a residual haunting?

I think I may have a dead skunk haunting my plastic cup.

Any suggestions on how to exorcise it?

And an extra-freaky tidbit. I have another identical cup.

The other one now stinks too.

Weird.

6. I took the Multiple Intelligences test and "Park Ranger" popped up in two categories as possible career matches for me. Hm...maybe a career change is in store for me?

7. I have friends of all ages. Well, not ALL ages. I don't have many (if any) friends MY age. A few years ago I went on a search for a friend my age and I discovered I am the only person born anywhere near 1976 in my little corner of the world! Then I became obsessed with this search...to no avail.

Fast forward to sometime this week and it occurred to me I hadn't thought a lot about this obsession in quite awhile. This idea that I had to have a friend my own age. One night I was sitting up, checking in on y'all and it hit me while surfing from a 20-something's blog to a 60-something's blog, with SAHM's, career women, crafty women, sustainable-living women...it doesn't matter what age you are.

A friend is a friend is a friend.

8. "Silly."

I use the word silly often in not-so-silly situations. Like when I want to call myself stupid, but don't want to ACTUALLY call myself stupid. I say "Silly," like - duh.

Awhile back, my counselor Bill caught me on this and I couldn't explain why I did it.

A few weeks ago I was at my folks house, walking around the patio, snapping pictures and I twisted my ankle. Dad came outside a few minutes later and I explained why I was hobbling.

"Tsk," *shaking head,* "Silly."

Imagine my shock-awareness-aha moment.

And I realized my Mom does the same thing.

So when they were telling my brother and I growing up not to call each other stupid, they were essentially giving us permission to do just that - under cover.

I haven't learned all that I can from this lesson yet, I'm still pondering it over and over in my mind, but I thought I'd share this aha moment with y'all.

Now I think it's important to note here though...I'm not one to say "It's all my parents' fault!" (insert winy cry-baby voice here) and that's not my message. Rather, what can I learn from it, what can I take away, digest, and discover about my own self-talk and how can I grow.

9. I'm learning that one of our greatest resources just might be each other, so I'm going to throw this out there because one of you just might be able to help me.

When I was born, someone gave me a stuffed bear with a music box inside. It played rock-a-bye baby and I LOVED listening to the music while I tried to fall asleep. I can remember holding it close, feeling the clicking as the music box made it's music. The round thing turning, the pins clicking over the nubs. And then it would go slower and slo.w..e...r..... until it stopped in the middle of the song. As it turned and clicked and played it's music, it would create small vibrations though and I loved thinking about, picturing in my mind, what the music box inside looked like.

I still have the bear, but I threw him across the room at my brother in a fit of rage at the age of, of course, 13 and broke the stem/key off the music box. So alas, Benny plays no more music, but the memories are there and I can still hear the tin-y clinking of it in my mind. Benny is also so beat up and worn out, I can't even imagine what he must have looked like the day I was born and he was given to me. As my Mom tells it, he was the first gift I ever got.

When my brother's wife had their firstborn, I started a tradition. Or so I intended. At my SIL's shower, I gave the baby a stuffed bear that played rock-a-bye-baby. We didn't know then whether it was a boy or a girl, but it didn't really matter. It was SO hard to find a bear with a music box inside, but I managed to find one at a music box specialty shop.

Now that my hubby's brother is expecting, I want to do the same, but the music box shop I went to originally is now gone.

My question is this: Does anyone know of a source for teddy bears with music boxes inside? I don't care if it's online or by mail or international or WHAT. And I have until November. LOL.

Interestingly enough, "Benny" is pink.

Benny, a pink bear with orange eyes.

Amend that: Benny, a thoroughly loved pink bear with orange eyes.

10. I continue to find connection after connection with people all over the globe. It reminds me of the six degrees of separation. I go to some one's blog, see another interesting link, click on that link and so on. Fabulous! Take for instance The Country Doctor's Wife, who I cannot visit from work because I always find myself laughing hysterically. I discovered her from the Pioneer Woman, who I found from the Farmer's Wife, who I found from Shelly at the Happy Hut, who I met on Wardrobe Refashion. It always comes back to Wardrobe Refashion!!Okay, that was only five, but you get the point. (Unless Yahoo! counts, which is how I found Wardrobe Refashion!)

11. We're going camping again this weekend...this time REAL camping...in tents and everything! Except, we're expecting rain all weekend, so we're thinking of putting the blow up mattress in the back of my hubby's truck and sleeping there instead of in a puddle. An option anyway!

So I'm bringing lots of rags because we tend to use lots of paper towels while camping...but I thought "how can I transport the rags in a compact and user-friendly manner?"

Result:

Tissue box style container...all of the rags are folded together just the same as tissues are in tissue boxes and I tried it out to make sure it worked...and it does! When you pull one rag out, the next one pulls through just a little!

I'm so darn proud of myself it should be illegal!!

I'll end this post with some shots of my big backyard. Ihave been having a bit of trouble with my camera as the LCD display is shot. *shaking head* if it's not one thing, it's another! I just got it back from the repair shop! So anyway, a few of the shots are really over exposed, but I'm working on it! Enjoy...
Concord Grapes (unripe)
Cone Flower (over exposed) antique roses (I think)
Still haven't id'd these.

Road Trip!

2008-08-14T13:22:00.006-04:00

It's official!
My hubby and I are driving 1629 miles (one-way) to Louisiana from New Hampshire the week of Thanksgiving! We checked out airline prices (read - I checked out...) and looked up the mileage, figured for $5/gallon for gas, figured we'd get worse gas mileage with all our luggage and BABY GIFTS, (hehehehe) and discovered that we're saving almost HALF the cost of flying by driving down instead! WoooHooo!

Brings back memories in college when someone would yell ROAD TRIP and everyone would scramble to pack, plan, etc and just head out with little to no direction! I LOVE it!

Can I tell you how excited I am? Of course I can, it's my blog.

I am SO excited!
I'm so excited I could fart and not even care!
I'm so excited I want to Fly! (Or drive really fast!)
I'm so excited, I just want November to COME ALREADY!!!
I'm so excited, I've got Perma-Grin!
I'm so excited, I could go on and on all day long about how excited I am but I won't because then I'd make y'all bored to death, I'd loose my audience and I'd end up talking to myself, but that wouldn't be so bad I suppose because I hear I get that from my Grandma (the talking to one's self thing) and heritage is important to me, so maybe I'll just continue talking about how Damned Excited I Am!!!
*stopping for breath*
Or not.

Get the picture?
Cool. *still perma-grinning*

I love driving. My biggest road trip to date took two months to complete. Then again, I was eight. (Moving from Alaska to New Hampshire in a piggy back camper with 3 humans and a medium sized dog) My next biggest road trip was 13 hours (to Dayton, OH). This is going to be 26 hours (according to mapquest and my BIL who has done it innumerable times in the last 5 years with his adorable dog Joe).
My hubby thinks we're going to get a hotel room along the way.
I say we'll keep driving.
He says it's 26 hours.
I say so?
He says we'll be tired. (He has a knack of pointing out the obvious to me because sometimes it excapes me because I'm a bit of a dreamer.)
I say we'll sleep in the passenger seat while the other drives.
He says he'll end up driving the whole way. (He makes a point. Sort of.)
I say I'll do all the nighttime driving.
He says in November the nights are gonna be "per-it-ty" long. (He makes a point. Sort of.)
I say I drove overnight to Pennsylvania once leaving after work on a Friday in the begining of December and was fine. Mostly.
He says I was much younger then. (Do you think he had a point?)
I say we'll deal with it. (Still smarting from the "younger" comment.)
He says that means he'll end up driving.
I remind him of the time I drove ALL the way back from a Sunday Afternoon wedding in Rochester, NY because he had to work the next morning and I'd had the foresight to tell my boss I'd be sleeping in. (nana nana boo boo!)
He says that was a 6 hour trip and I was at home snuggled up in bed by 3:30 am. (And who has a Sunday AFTERNOON wedding anyway?)

Needless to say, we're still up in the air about stopping along the way.
And yes, I still have perma-grin. Did I mention I love road trips?
(Plus I'll be an Auntie then!)

Rrrrrrr!

2008-08-13T21:17:00.001-04:00

I broke another seam ripper! SO frustrating.
Anyone out there have a good seam ripper to recommend?

Lunchcapades

2008-08-13T17:25:00.005-04:00

What?! Going outside in the middle of the day?! Have I finally gone off the deep end?

It's true. I left the sheltering confines of my cubicle today to make a quick trip to the grocery and back. I made good use of my short walk across the parking lot to snap a few quick pics of *gasp* blue sky and cracked windows! The first time I've been able to leave my car window cracked in ... uh ... hmm ... I don't know how long!

And here's a look at the passenger seat. Really takes you back, huh? (It's been so long since it has acted as studio to my lunchcapades pics!)

I've gotten SO much into the habit of grabbing my raingear before leaving the house, I just naturally did so again this morning despite the radio comentators making such a big deal about no rain in the forcast! (stuffed on the other side of the box)

I also wanted to show you another organization tool I've implemented. I have about three of these thin expanding file folders around the house, so I grabbed one, emptied out the three-year-old receipts, and started stuffing papers into it. I have a pocket with my idea notebook, a pocket with my current reading list book and journal; and the rest of the pockets are slowly filling up with random papers that I seem to accumulate, throw in my bag or onto the car seat, and re-discover three weeks later crumpled up and long forgotten. Meantime, I usually search high and low for them, figure they've been inadvertently thrown away, and make a new list or create a new document.

No more! Now I can just stuff it in one of the pockets and I'll know where it is when I need to retreive it later.

We'll see how long it lasts!

Success!

2008-08-13T09:27:00.003-04:00

When diluted vinegar didn't get the stink out of my plastic mixing cup, I thought it was over.

But thanks to Elle, it's smelling clean and ready to use again! She suggested hydrogen peroxide and I said Why Not? So I filled the cup with 4 oz hydrogen peroxide and 12 oz water and let it sit overnight. Actually, it was about 13 hours!!

And what do you know?! It's saved!

Thanks a bunch Elle!

Central New Hampshire camping pics

2008-08-12T20:54:00.003-04:00

Feeling Zen

2008-08-12T12:12:00.004-04:00

A few pictures of my camping weekend.

If you concentrate, you can see the rainbow between the groups of trees.

Help!

2008-08-12T11:57:00.002-04:00

Anyone know how to get the stink out of plasticware?
I have looked for solutions online, but didn't find any specific to plastic containers. I did, however try one that seemed like it might work.
I have a cup for mixing up my protein shake. It looks similar to those salad dressing mixers. I guess I left it for WAY too long. I found it while cleaning out the back of my car. Mmmm. Could have been there for ages!
It smells, quite literally, like skunk. I don't want to throw it out, but cannot imagine drinking out of it when it smells that bad!
Last night I left it soaking with 4 oz white wine vinegar and 12 oz hot water. No change. Any other suggestions?

Reality Check

2008-08-11T17:33:00.003-04:00

Even as I blog about setting goals, saving money, lifestyle changes, personal problems, etc...a team of 6 people that I know personally is in Rwanda, Africa on a discovery mission, the first organized overseas mission trip for our church. They are there to explore and discover ways that our church can best utilize our resources to help these people. They live in unimaginable conditions and yet have such hope and joy in their lives. It breaks my heart that I take so much for granted, yet I'm still discontent; while they have less than what I would consider nothing and yet are content to live that life.
As I read the latest blog entry by Bruce, one of the elders and an all-around sweet, compassionate man, my mind scrambles for ways I might possibly use the talents God has given me to help these people.
Then I wonder how I could ever help them. There is so much need.

Then I recall the story of the young boy and the beach filled with starfish. It went something like this:
A young boy was seen wandering slowly down the beach one day. He would stoop down, grab a starfish and fling it back into the ocean. The beach was filled with thousands of starfish and an older gentleman shouted to him from atop a sanddune, "you'll never get them all back in the water! It won't make a difference how long you're down there!"
The young boy looked down at the starfish in his hand before replying, "Maybe not, but I'll make a difference to this one!" Then he flung yet another starfish back into the ocean before it dried up and died.

I've always been one to change the chanel when I see a commercial about supporting a child in a third world country. Growing up, there were too many stories about poorly managed charities, scams and other sorts of stories that made me look away. All too easily.
Last week, one of the team members that is now in Rwanda did the Sunday sermon. He challenged us not to change the channel. He challenged us to sit and watch. To sit and imagine life as those children live.
It's been a real wake-up call. Yeah, I run the mission for supplying furniture and home goods to people in need in our city. Yeah, I helped out when we had major fires this spring and over a hundred people were suddenly homeless. Yeah, I participated in the Cardboard City Fundraiser. Yeah, my heart breaks when I read the blog about the team traveling in Rwanda. But what do I have to show for it? A couple of gold stars and some tears and a worn out spot on the couch.
What will it take to drive me to action? And is all of my mind-scrambling, wondering how I can help, going to result in action or just a few minutes of mind-scrambling and a deep sigh?
Indeed, what will it take.

Lunchcapades

2008-08-11T15:29:00.004-04:00

I usually enjoy wrapping presents. I take joy in making things presentable in a pleasing style. It's not a chore. Usually. Except on Christmas morning before we load the car up to go to the in-laws. Or in the breakroom at work right before I run to the post office to send it half way across the country in hopes that it'll get there in time for "the event."

As I've mentioned before, I made a baby blanket and fun square for my hubby's brother's upcoming arrival. We don't know the gender yet and my SIL doesn't like "cutsie" stuff (frankly, I agree with her,) so it made picking out the colors and materials that much more challenging, but I was really excited about the end result. Then I went to pack it up to mail. It's going in a box with another gift, so it had to squish up real tight in order to fit in the flat rate box, but I made it work. Except it took ForEver!

(This is the blanket AND fun square wrapped up together!!)

Because I had to squish it up so much, I decided to write a little poem of explanation. It also covered the concern my hubby had about making sure they knew I'd made it. And my point that it was even more special than a normal handmade item because it was the first baby blanket I ever made.

Here's the poem:

I'm wrapped up so tight
'cuz I took my first flight!
I came all this way
to meet my new playmate.
I was made by hand
(Megan's first try, by the way.)
So glad I could land
and see your smile today!

It's not a prize winner, but it got the message across! (And it was totally thought up in about 2 minutes, so give me some credit there!)

In case you're wondering, the envelope says (Just untie the yellow organza to unwrap the "roll") because there are a ton of other ribbons on the other side, but they're part of the "fun square."

"Heath Bars"

2008-08-11T13:15:00.004-04:00

This was my favorite recipe of the weekend! (Contributed by my MIL)

They aren't actual heath bars, but taste like it! The basic recipe is as follows, but you can add any kind of topping imaginable. Except olives. I wouldn't recomend olives.

Saltine crackers
1 cup melted butter
1 cup sugar
chocolate chips
any additional topping (Within reason. Again, you could try olives, but *shiver*, I wouldn't if I were you.)

I wasn't provided with any measurements except as listed above, but I used a little over a sleeve of saltines and 36 oz chocolate chips (24 oz regular and 12 oz white). It could probably be done with 18-24 oz though. I also added some real heath bar crumbles. (My imagination was pretty much dormant last night!)

First, line the cookie sheet with foil, then lay out the saltines in a single layer.
I melted the butter in the microwave, but it could be done on the stovetop easily.

Then add the cup of sugar to the butter and mix until it's well blended. (This actually takes awhile.)

Once mixed well, drizzle the butter/sugar mixture over the crackers and spread gently. It'll be pretty thick.
(My camera battery then putzed out from a whole weekend of work, so I didn't get a shot of the next couple of steps)
Place into a 350 degree oven for about 10 minutes or until browning on top. For me this only took 6 minutes, so don't go far!
Then while it's still hot, sprinkle the chocolate chips over the entire sheet and allow them to soften, then spread with a rubber spatula. (again, I mixed white chocolate chips in for the marbled look.)

Then add whatever topping your imagination comes up with, and allow to cool. I actually left it overnight. Then cut and enjoy!
This is a look at the underside...sooooooo good! Crispy like heath and sweet sweet sweet!

Catching up...

2008-08-11T12:01:00.003-04:00

I'm officially back from camping, an internet-less weekend. By choice. Our campground actually had wifi and I did bring my laptop so I could empty my memory card as it filled up, but I stayed away from blog-land and e-mail.
I'm having such a great time catching up on all the posts I missed over the weekend! I'm salivating over Busy Bee's canning treasures, it's inspiring me to log onto Craigslist and look for more canning equipment!
I'm SO excited about Karen finally ariving in Anchorage after her 7-day solo driving tour from North Carolina! I can't wait to see Alaska through her alaska-virgin eyes! My parents did the same trip, but from Connecticut, back in 1972. Except they did it with a 2-year old (my big brother) to boot!
I'm also happy for Triz, who is on the Front Page! She's just the nicest person, and a wonderful, inspiring artist as well! Couldn't happen to a nicer person!
Checking in on Shelly and Hope is always a treat! Hope's concentration with the horses and ponies is so cute!
And I can't wait to make this bag! Darling Petunia has such elegance and style! Of course, that's going to have to wait until the other 15,000 ideas I have lined up have been done! Naw, I'll just do it now!
And I LOVE Stephanie's jars! Another idea for a rainy day. Maybe if I schedule it now, I'll get it done by mid-October.
I SO wish I lived in Tampa Bay, (and hadn't taken the Buy Nothing Challenge,) because I'd TOTALLY snatch up this blender!
I found that I could relate to a lot of the readers from Simple Dollar's mailbag, especially Dody (feeling like you're not doing enough; The steps I'm taking seem miniscule in relation to my goals) But Trent's encouragement to break it down into weekly goals is right on.
Reading about Journeyer's July Goals Review reminds me that it's important to make goals not only in finance, but all areas in life. (And to have them posted in front of you all month too!!)
And Leah's post made me laugh, because it's the same question I've asked myself constantly in the last month as we've had so much rain! (Are there any other ideas for how to use the dehumidifier water besides throwing it down the drain?)
Not to mention Bragger's Un-Goals for the New School Year. Seriously, totally laugh-worthy material!
I couldn't wait to hear about Jana's most recent Journey, and was inspired by her insight on the woman with the alabaster box.
I was also more than eager to get an update on my church's current trip to Rwanda. I'm excited that they also including a post with some pictures.
I found another book I need to read. Except it may just end up being more clutter. Which would kind of defeat the purpose. (When organizing isn't enough, shed your stuff, change your life.)
And finally, Laura reminded me that it's Menu Plan Monday. But the day's not over yet!!
My hubby and I saw lots of bikes this weekend up north in the lakes region of New Hampshire. It made us consider riding up on our bikes next year instead of the truck. Sounds like a great idea to me! (Now we just need to find good deals on a couple of bikes and the funds to pay for them with!)

the good the bad and the ugly revisited

2008-08-11T10:14:00.003-04:00

I received a quite insightful comment on an earlier post and again found myself responding at length. I think I'd rather share it here though....

(parts of the comment:)

...I found I felt much better when I stood up for myself to my ex's family. I wasn't rude. I just did what I thought was best for myself and my family... If they didn't like it... That was their problem. The interesting thing about difficult people is they never go away.
...Love and take care of yourself... Always tell the truth in love and don't be too hard on yourself:) It really is the best way to love your husband :)

(my response:)
Earlier in the year I was seriously contemplating divorce and the thing that made me feel the best about it was the fact that I wouldn't have to deal with his family anymore. (We don't have kids, so we'd essentially be going our own ways.) Now that I've recommitted to the marriage, time and time again I realize that his family is the biggest wedge between us. It's where most of the dissension begins.
I am beginning to calmly stand up for myself and my decisions without apology, but without being rude about it. I can only take responsibility for my actions and reactions. Their happiness is up to them. And I think my hubby is just starting to catch on too. But even that isn't my responsibility, it's his.
You make a very good point that difficult people never go away. No matter how much we grow and mature, it often has no bearing on others' maturity. But we can live in peace when we take responsibility for ourselves and let them have responsibility for themselves. Even if they want to blame us, we don't have to take that on.
I was blessed that I had a personal counseling appointment Friday afternoon right before we went camping with his family. "Bill" pointed out two things to me. 1.) the "Leave and Cleave" command in Genesis is directed to the son. It's not completely the parent's responsibility to let their child go, it's also up to the son to make changes to his relationship with his parents. Not that he should completely cut them out of his life, but there is a change in priorities that should occur, and it's his responsibility to initiate that. It's naturally designed to occur in the adolescence, but often enough never occurs at all.
2.) Philippians 4:4-8 gives us a good guideline to achieving peace.
A.) "Rejoice in the Lord" (so hard to do when focusing all our energy on the people who are driving us crazy!)
B.) "Don't be anxious for ANYthing."
C.) "Instead pray and petition." The word used for Petition means a detailed request. This is more for our benefit than for God's because he already knows! But it creates intimacy when we spend the time to get into detail in our cry for help.
D.) "With thanksgiving." Why would we be thankful? Because it's an opportunity for growth in our lives. Because it's an opportunity for us to become more intimate with God. For any number of reasons. Maybe it's and opportunity to portray God's compassion to those that are hurting us.
E.) "Think on things..." that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy. It's really hard to remain tense and anxious and focused on retaliation when we're thinking on this kind of thing, isn't it! LOL.
A tool that Bill encouraged me to initiate is to take notecards and write verses on them that would help me to "think on these things." I did just that over the weekend, starting with these very verses! Others that I've added are Romans 8:28 , James 1:2-6 and Jeremiah 29:10-13.

By way of follow-up, on the surface, it seems that the weekend went fairly smoothly. I fully expect that my hubby will get a scathing phone call this afternoon though. *sigh*, another reminder that we can't control their actions and feelings. They may have the perspective that we MAKE them feel this, but the reality is that they choose their feelings, even as we choose ours. We can choose to live our own lives or continue to be puppeted by them. I even found myself at times over the weekend reading insult into probably innocuous things, but caught myself most times before I jumped to that conclusion. I imagine the same is true for them. Though whether they "caught themselves" or were looking for insult is up to them, not me.

I am at peace this morning knowing that I did what I could while maintaining my personal boundaries and there is nothing that I would do differently.

Note to Self: 3rd Edition

2008-08-08T10:00:00.000-04:00

1. The philosophy of efficiency with money can be easily replicated in an efficiency with time concept. Thanks, Journeyer for sharing this insight! Be sure to check out both her links. The Maya Angelou quote at the bottom of her introduction is another whole lesson in itself!

2. Balance is of utmost importance. But balance can't always be acheived the same way in every situation. Take motorcycle riding. Sometimes, like when weaving back and forth, you stay seated straight up and down while the bike leans back and forth. Other times, like around a sweeping corner, you lean very slightly with the bike. And other times, like when doing a very tight u-turn, you actually have to counterweigh the bike, leaning the opposite way.

In each situation, as in life, it's important to assess the situation and figure out what position will acheive the optimal result.

3. But no matter how balance is acheived, you always have to keep your chin up and look ahead to where you're going. Otherwise, balance is irrelevant. You might be balanced, but you'll be wobbling all over the place without direction.

4. If you want to change one habit, it may involve changing another habit. I have struggled with this month's Quit Now Challenge of quitting the snooze button. Today I had my biggest victory yet! I only hit the snooze button twice. I realized something else though. I went to bed about 1-2 hours earlier than normal. I usually head to bed at 10 at the earliest. Sometimes if I don't think I'm "tired enough," I'll stay up until 12 or 1 am. As a kid I would sit in bed for hours on end unable to sleep, so I'm extremely vigilant about knowing when I'm "ready" for bed. But last night I headed to bed just after 9 and fell asleep pretty quickly. It makes me realize that I can change my snooze button habit, but it may take changing my bedtime habits as well.

5. Who knew making a bib would be more difficult than a blanket?! Apparently, size DOESN'T matter! It's all those *%)$%(&$%&%* curves!

6. One of the best ways to overcome a fear is to simply do it anyway. Driving to motorcycle training Wednesday morning, my hubby and I discussed our concerns about riding in the rain and were somewhat grateful to be given the opportunity to ride in the rain during the training so that we could learn how to compensate for it. What we learned was that with the right gear, it's not that big of a deal (within reason.) With proper rain gear and a full face helmet, you're pretty much protected from the rain. It's still not the best of conditions, but it's nothing to be afraid of.

drenched, but trying to dry out.

7. With a big enough stash, you can make just about anything! I made a special square out of the materials used to make the baby blanket, then I attached a bunch of ribbons and triangles of material from my stash. They are all different textures and colors for the baby to play with! If it weren't Stash Month, I'd have been tempted to go out and buy new ribbon and more remnants!

8. Saving money can be fun! I'm really enjoying the challenge of finding alternate ways of doing things (other than going out and buying the newest, best big thing)

9. Antiques are fun! My first giveaway wasn't exactly the biggest bestest thing-a-ma-jig, but it was a cool little trivia/mystery piece.

This little guy was used years ago before plastic bags were all the rage! The hooks on either end would wrap around the string used to secure books and packages, the handle would make it easier to carry the package without the string digging into your fingers!

I found this guy at a yard sale earlier in the year. The man selling it was impressed that I knew what it was used for. A few years back my mom and I stumbled upon one at an over-priced antique shop and couldn't figure out what it was. We got the scoop then, and I scooped this little guy up at the yard sale for 50 cents! (instead of the $8 the antique shop wanted for it!) I'm saving one for mom for christmas, saving one for myself, and Bragger here gets the last one! (yeah, she gets the prize AND you can blame her for taking the last perfect man!) So, Bragger, leave me a comment with your address (I promise I won't approve it for public view!) and I'll get your string handle thingy in the mail on Monday! (I know what it's used for, but not what it's officially called!) I guess I could just make up a name for it like the bird in the Little Mermaid.... Naw...

10. Avoiding confrontation often leads to a worse, unavoidable confrontation down the line. (Cue yesterday's rant.) I'm as much to blame as my hubby for this, but camping with the family is now a huge soap opera drama that could have been handled a LOT better by both of us a month or two ago, but we took the seemingly easy (avoidant) route at the time and are paying dearly for it now. It all comes back to boundaries, assertiveness and personal responsibility. I can't control how Mom and Dad will react, but I do have the responsibility of not initiating or participating in these games.

the good, the bad and the ugly

2008-08-07T14:39:00.002-04:00

Let's just be honest. Growing up I somehow got the impression that it was less noble to feel mad or angry than dissapointed or hurt. I never acknowledged anger or rage, just transformed it to dissapointment and turned myself into a victim (being constantly hurt).

And while we're being honest, let's acknowledge that marriage is hard and work and frustrating and anger-inducing and maddening along with all the good things about it.

I'm mad. And I'm angry. Frustrated. Hurt, yes but mostly angry. Enraged. Adrenaline-pumping, emotion-seething anger.

It's no secret my hubby and I are in couple's counseling. It's no secret I myself am in personal counseling. I SO wish we were at our counselor's this afternoon! Our much-anticipated camping weekend coming up with his family is now a bit less-than-anticipated and instead is closer to being in the "dreaded" category.

I'm enraged because my hubby can't seem to stick up for himself (or his wife) to his folks. Mom, the emotional drain and Dad, the "voice of reason" like the snake in the Garden of Eden. What he suggests makes sense when you're talking to him, but then you walk away and shake your head and say "Hey, wait. What about such-and-such! Oh well, too late now." He's a really good salesperson.

And in the middle of this is the 30-day husband encouragement challenge. While I had (and have) every intent of continuing the challenge, I cannot deny the fact that we are both flawed. I get pretty emotional and expect him to stand up for me and he can't even stand up for himself, much less me, so who has the delusional/unrealistic expectations here?

I think the challenge is a good idea, but we also live in the real world and I doubt that the spirit of the challenge is to pretend there's no real problems until the end of the month! Bringing focus to how you treat and talk about your husband is quite important in my view and one of my pet peeves is women who go on and on about the little things that their husband does wrong . Petty little things that just make the woman look picky and falsely superior.

If I am sounding that way, I give you permission to gently bring my attention to that. Please.

better late than never

2008-08-07T09:33:00.003-04:00

I was a teeeeeny bit late getting to work this morning, but you tell me if it was worth it.

I found this on my doorstep. I couldn't resist snapping a few pictures of it!

My First Giveaway: Countdown

2008-08-07T00:30:00.000-04:00

23.5 hours left!

can you figure out what this is?

Leave a comment at this link for a chance to win! All comments received before Thursday Midnight will be entered to win.

A very productive day!

2008-08-07T00:15:00.006-04:00

Well, life goes on so even though I'm exhausted emotionally and physically from motorcycle training, I HAD to get some baby sewing done. My sister-in-law's baby shower is in just over a week and I have to mail it, so I've got tonight and tomorrow night.

After figuring out what my sewing machine was complaining about, I got down to business and used a vine-like decorative stitch to make a simple baby blanket with one side flanel stripes and the other plain white terry cloth.

Then even though it was after 10 pm, I decided to tackle the fun square!

I went through my stash and found every fabric and ribbon that matched in some way. I was looking for a variety of colors and textures.

I'm really happy with how it turned out!

Tomorrow night: Bibs and burp cloths!

Motorcycle Training:Day 3

2008-08-06T19:11:00.004-04:00

I made it!

I got the certificate so I can just go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and get my motocycle operator's endorsement without taking additional tests!

We showed up to class at 8 am just as it started raining. And raining. Harder and Harder. We broke for lunch, and it stopped. We got back to work and it got darker and darker (but wasn't raining). We were just about to set up for the final exercise (aka "The Test") when the thunder and lightening started. We took the opportunity to do the written test and then it was borderline sunny! We got to do the riding test under almost ideal conditions and we all passed!

I did dump my bike once earlier in the day while practicing braking. I locked up the front brakes and skidded. It happened before I knew it! I don't even remember falling, just scramling to get up and wondering why I couldn't move my right foot! It was pinned underneath the bike, but I got it out and I didn't even bruise. The instructor showed me how to get the bike off the ground real quick and I was off and running again in no time. Another bonus of having a small bike is that it's light enough for me to get it off the ground without help if I'm ever in that situation!

Buy Nothing Challenge or not, I don't regret my waterproof pants purchase last night ONE BIT. There were a couple of guys out there without full raingear that were simply miserable. I was warm and mostly dry the whole time. Even my feet! (Not complaining about not being able to wear my sandals either!)

Motorcycle Training, Day 2: Riding!!

2008-08-05T18:26:00.005-04:00

Wow. This is so much fun! The instructors are fun and enthusiastic about riding, the sky was overcast all day so it didn't get too hot, and I'm riding a Suzuki GN125. Sounds small, but it's perfect for me! If you're unfamiliar with bike sizes, there are scooters that are 150 cc's and 200 cc's. The "125" in GN125 indicates that it's only got 125 cc's.

But I love it cuz I can touch the ground with my toes. That's all I ask!

The one problem is my physical conditioning. I tend to gt tendonitis and bursitis in just about any joint in my body and sitting on the bike for 6 hours today didn't "sit" well with my left hip and leg. Lesson learned, I'll have to be mindfull of that (and dose myself up on ibuprofen before we go tomorrow!)

I'm exhausted, but exhilerated.

Tomorrow's forcast:

90% chance of rain. Probably showers in the morning and thunderstorms in the afternoon. We ride in any condition except thunder and lightening.

So do I go out and buy raingear?
Or stick to my Buy Nothing New Challenge?
I think an exception is in order. I have zero time to thrift shop, so to Walmart I go.
Then it's beddy-by.

keeping hydrated

Lunch break

Motorcycle safety training, day 1:

2008-08-04T21:26:00.004-04:00

So cool! I'm super excited to get on the bike tomorrow. Tonight was all classwork, three hours worth!
I'm the only woman in a class of 11 students. We'll have about five or so hours of range riding tomorrow and then another three hours of classwork. One of the instructors is a woman as well.
We don't actually need jackets, which is good since it's going to be in the 80's and no shade! All we need is a long sleeved shirt. I'm glad for that, since I have to wear constricing boots.
Have I mentioned my dislike of all things enclosed being anywhere near my feet? My feet are like leather because I go barefoot as much as I possibly can in the spring, summer and fall. And in the winter, I still go barefoot when I'm home!
I'm getting a little irritated with my hubby, so it's a very good thing I'm doing the 30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge! Stop and think. Stop and think!

August Challenges

2008-08-04T15:07:00.006-04:00

Buy Nothing New Challenge:
First, what I have bought:
Puffs Plus (1.99) *Not sure if this is considered breaking the challenge, but it is for me because I really want to use my hankies instead of buying tissues. Unfortunately, today is one of "those days" where I get this incredibly bad sinus headache and can't stop sneezing. It's been going on for a couple years and noone knows what it is or why it happens. And nothing I have tried taking seems to prevent it!
store brand tylenol (2.99) *I know medicine isn't meant to be restricted, but I have plenty of meds at home but couldn't wait another four hours for relief!

Now, what I haven't bought: (but would have if it wasn't for this challenge)
Removable or retractable clothes line (anywhere from $20 to $150)
Egg Beaters (Egg product in a milk carton type package) ($5.99) *I was intending to buy the egg product for camping, but thought twice when they rang up at such a high price. I can just mix up my own eggs and put them in a resealable container for much less money!!

Husband Encouragement Challenge:
This has been a really neat exercise. It's a daily reminder that I am the primary source of encouragement in my hubby's life. He doesn't get a lot of positive feedback from his folks, work is quite stressfull and they don't show appreciation well, and his friends are not exactly a healthy influence. So when I am grumpy and grouchy and take him for granted, it's compounded because home is supposed to be that safe place, the "castle" so-to-speak. I'm not saying I won't allow myself to be honest about my feelings, but let's face it. There are times I have just been grouchy from work and don't reign it in before I get home, and he pays for it. (Sorry sweetie!)

Stash Month Challenge:
I haven't bought any new craft items yet! Actually, I had this great idea for a wedding present for a good friend of mine. She's getting married at the end of the month (Aug 30th) and her invitation states at the bottom: The gift of your presence is present enough. So cute, but oi. I'm sooo happy for her! She's almost 50, never been married, dated a lot of okay guys, and about 10 months ago found this really great guy! I just can't stop grinning when I think of them! And we all want to just whoop with joy over how perfect they are for each other and how wonderfull it is that they found each other! And I want to celebrate by doing something special. I have never liked "cookie-cutter" gifts like a place setting or a silverware set. I really enjoy finding or making something I know they'll just LOVE and never would have thought of themselves.
So, I thought - why don't I make a cross stitch of their invitation and frame it really nicely? It won't be so elaborate I won't be able to finish it in time, but it will be incredibly personal and totally unique. (Also one of my prerequisites for cross stitch projects.) So I went through my newly-organized embroidery floss and irish linen stash and what do you know...I found exactly the right colors!! I already have everything I need for the project except for the frame. And I bet you I can find that in my storage area too!

Org Junkie's Monthly Organizing Round Up: (Mudroom/Entryway)
Well, I've taken before pictures of the mudroom and the spaces that I anticipate putting all the coats, boots, shoes, etc. in. As I shared before, the timing of this challenge is perfect because in September, we're taking off the mudroom addition to the house and we aren't replacing it, so we have to find room "elsewhere." As for actual progress, that hasn't been made. But one step at a time, right?

Quit Now Challenge: Snooze Button
Mmmm. The snooze button. I'm getting the feeling this is going to be the hardest challenge of all. I used to hit the snooze button for an hour. August 1st: 40 minutes. August 2nd: 30 minutes. August 3rd: 30 minutes. August 4th: an hour. *sigh*

Menu Plan Mondays:
I was actually so excited about this, I went home and planned my menu last thursday! Here's what's up for the week.
Monday: Leftovers
Tuesday: Slow-cooker Chicken and Pineapple Rice with peas
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday: Spaghetti and meatsauce with ground turkey and salad
Friday: Leftovers
Saturday: All Day Mac N Cheese
Sunday: Homemade Pizzas with leftover meatsauce

Lazy Sunday, crazy-busy week!

2008-08-04T12:17:00.004-04:00

I was supposed to go back to work Sunday afternoon, right? Didn't happen. I zonked out on the couch after church and unintentionally took a 6 hour "nap." Somehow I don't thing 6 hours of sleep constitutes as a nap!
First of all, my boss has been out for two weeks, so I've been slowly been slipping behind with covering for him. Then, last week I'd forgotten that this week my hubby and I are taking two days off to do our motorcycle safety training course, so I really needed to catch up and get a teeny bit ahead at work, but it wasn't happening, so alas, I'll fall a bit more behind. But you know? It's not the end of the world!
We're also going camping next weekend, so I need to prep for that, but I got the food preped last night at least, now it's just a matter of gathering the gear and packing bags. Fortunately, my hubby packs his own bag! I swore to myself I'd never "mother" him and 8 years later, I'm sticking to it! He's a big boy, he can pack his own stuff!
I did get to do a crock pot meal last friday but it wasn't exactly photogenic, so I didn't take any pics. I tried Jenn's All Day Mac N Cheese recipe from Frugal Upstate. It tasted great, but looked a little over-done. I'm going to make it again this weekend while camping for our Saturday night pot luck. We're camping with a bunch of my hubby's family and every year on Saturday night, we just gorge ourselves on awesome, awesome food! I think the crock pot ran for about 8 hours friday, so I don't think I'll start it until late morning next time so it's just perfect in time for dinner!

To fiction or not to fiction

2008-08-04T10:54:00.003-04:00

I am a writer. I have been writing little snippets for as far back as I can remember. I write poetry, I write essays, I try to write fiction. I finish poetry, I finish essays, I can't finish a piece of fiction to save my life.
I dreamed for years to write a novel. To teach lessons in a roundabout way. To pretend to be a fictional person, to share the lessons I've learned in life through the creation of another.
Here are some of my past writings.
Last night I had a lightbulb moment. Perhaps I shouldn't be wasting my energy on something I haven't shown any talent in if I have shown talent in another area instead. I mean, come on already! Focus on non-fiction, essays, poetry. Another example of trying to spread myself too thin? Trying to conquer the entire world? Not content with the talents God has given me in one area, I want more, more, more?
Something I need to contemplate more, I suppose, but I think I might be on to something.
On the other hand, is it just that fiction is harder, and I'm giving up too easily?
*sigh* Who knows?

My first Giveaway!

2008-08-02T21:44:00.003-04:00

Any idea what this is called or what it's used for?

Leave me your ideas, guesses or real knowledge in the comments to qualify!
(You don't have to be right in order to win!)

The prize is this very *ahem* "item!" The mystery item, that is.

Comments must be received by Midnight, Thursday August 7th United States Eastern Standard Time.

Good luck!

What happened to efficiency weekend?!

2008-08-02T21:01:00.004-04:00

Turns out, I had to work. (no time to do-my-own-tuneup on my car)

Then I remembered I can't buy anything brand new. (can't buy a spiffy new clothesline)

So I rummaged through the shed and found just enough rope to string between the shed and a tree. This is going to be one heck of a clothesline! 71 feet! I'll end up putting it up just when it's in use, then take it down because it's pretty much in the way! But hey, we don't use the yard a whole lot except to mow anyway, so it's all good!

Then the ticking clock reminded me that my hubby and I are doing the motorcycle safety course this coming week, so I really needed to get my embroidery floss out of the way so I could finish our coats...

And what could a long straight piece of wood have to do with embroidery floss storage?

Well, to be exact...it ends up, four long straight pieces of wood helped me keep all the floss in order and stored on top of my shelving unit out of the way:

I did come up with an effective way to get mystery stickiness off one of my "new" thrifted pitchers: spray/drip all over with goo gone, all the while stray sprays and drips fall on the rag or towel under the object in question.

Wrap in said rag or towel.

Tie securely in plastic bag.

I forgot to take an after picture, but I set it asside for a few hours last night before I remembered to get back to it. It didn't just wipe off, I still had to rub a little but I wasn't scrubbing!

Sunday I'm back to work for a couple hours after church, then I'll finally get to pick up groceries and start my price book!

The challenge that will make the most difference

2008-08-02T20:47:00.001-04:00

I saw this a few months ago, thought it was a great idea, and promptly forgot about it. (That was pre-How to Grow blog.)
The 30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge.
It includes daily suggestions and scriptures. I'm starting today!

And with that, I declare no more new challenges for August!

Note to Self: 2nd Edition

2008-08-01T10:00:00.002-04:00

After last week's first Note to Self post, I thought it would be a good idea to do it weekly. And since it's my blog, I agreed with myself wholeheartedly and here we are.

Without further ado, random lessons and insights I've learned in life this week:

1. "The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have." Read the whole story here. And thank you Jenn for sharing this with us!

2. I need to use up stash since I have limited space, and I need to stop spending since I have limited budget. Therefore, I declare August Stash Month with a $20 necessities crafting budget. And I do mean necessities. Like thread, etc. But seriously, I have so much, I don't think I'll NEED anything. "Want" is a different story altogether! I'll admit though, I've been thinking about this for a few days and stocked up on some things I think I might want this month!

Anyone want to join me? I'm doodling while I'm on hold today. (Rrrrrr. Hate insurance companies!!!) Trying to come up with a cool graphic for August's Stash Month. Stay tuned!

3. Real, lasting change takes time. I thought I had my ice cream habit under control, but I really felt tempted earlier this week. I had thought a few times previously in the month that I could move on to more of the lactose family before August, but I'm glad I didn't. I think it would have been one more instance of me jumping in over my head. This month, my Quit Now Challenge is going to be quitting the snooze button. I'll still refrain from ice cream, but I don't think I'm ready to give up cheese, cream in my coffee, and butter yet.

As for the Snooze button, I didn't fail miserably this morning, but I didn't get right up either. I tend to hit the snooze button for about an hour. I only did it for 40 minutes today, so progress has been made.

Along these same lines, I intend to organize my house from top to bottom. But let's be realistic, right? That's one huge job, no matter what size your house is! Luckily, I found Org Junkie's Monthly Organization Roundup which targets one room each month. This matches right up with my new "pace yourself" mentality! In August we're targeting the mudroom/entryway. I say it's not a moment too soon!

(what you see when you walk in the mudroom - this is also the entrance used about 99% of the time.)

This was an addition to the main house. In September, we're tearing this room down and re-roofing the house but not replacing this room. So in the meantime, I have to find a new home for the shoes, coats, mittens, and hats. Everything else can go where it belongs...in the shed or in my hubby's work van!! And the rectangular bucket in the lower left corner? Catches the rain. Whoever added the porch didn't tie it in well with the existing roof. Oi. Drives my hubby crazy, being a carpenter and perfectionist!

(looking back at the front door)

Think we have enough shoes?

(Slowly sinking)

The mystery closet! What ever will I find in there?

edited *** I just realized that in light of my previous post (Buy Nothing Challenge) I can't make any organization-product related purchases! This is an even bigger challenge than I thought and it gets me excited!!!

4. Keep your car clean! Remember how your mama always told you to wear clean underwear "in case you got in an accident and ended up in the hospital?" Well this is along the same idea. You might just break down somewhere (or leave your lights on all day and drain your battery) and have some stranger in your car learning all of your dirty car secrets!

5. If something is going to happen to my car, it's going to happen when my hubby's out of town! See previous lesson...happened last Friday night right after he left! Last time he went away, I got a flat tire...and I changed it myself! Thanks, Dad, for teaching me how to do that while I was learning how to drive. It's been 15 years, but it stuck with me!

6. It IS possible to get out aged mystery stains from a vintage linen tablecloth. Just soak in two cups of Oxyclean, forget about it for 7 hours, run through the delicate wash cycle and voila! Clean table cloth. I did Literally forget about it! I meant to soak it for an hour and then run the wash, but completely forgot...and I'm so glad! (The package says to add 2-4 scoops per gallon of water for soaking 1-6 hours.) The scoop looked about a quarter cup and I wasn't sure how many gallons of water the small load setting used, so I just guestimated 5 gallons and added 8 scoops which ended up being almost all of the small package!

Thank you to my new friends over at Wardrobe Refashion for all of their fantastic ideas!!

7. I learned how to Trim My Own Hair using these tips!! My hubby was kind enough (and patient enough!) to play photographer for me while I cut my hair for the second time in my life. The first time didn't end so well. I was somewhere between 5 and 8 years old and took those plastic Discovery Toys safety scissors to my bangs. Mom was away at a weekend conference and my Dad and brother didn't even notice!! Good stuff. This week's trim wasn't very noticeable. Actually, if I hadn't been doing the cutting, I'd question whether anything was actually cut! I went by the rule to cut less...you can always cut more later. Really, I just wanted a trim to get the split ends off without paying out the nose!

8. It IS possible for me to get motivated in a job I don't care about! Well, maybe it's false motivation, let's just call it productivity! Thursday I dressed professionally, passed up the decaf for real coffee (with extra sugar!) and logged onto my favorite radio station, WOKQ, for their live streaming. I put on my headphones and bebopped (or country-bopped) through my day. I actually learned to do this in college when I'd work in the computer lab with tons of distractions. I'd put on my walkman (remember those?!) and would be able to breeze through my work. I think it kind of takes the distractable/ADHD part of my brain and keeps it busy so I don't get distracted by everything else around me. However it works, it WORKS!

9. It's time for a change. All the while I'm saving money by making my own laundry detergent and kitchen rags and not buying ice cream (LOL) and making hankerchiefs and on and on and on, I'm going to yard sales getting stuff I don't NEED, going antiquing, thrift shopping and on and on and on. Not that yard sales and thrift shopping are bad, but if I don't NEED something, why am I there? To find a deal? On something I don't NEED? Just a new obsession? This is part of what drove me to my proclamation earlier in the week that I'm ready to make a change in my finances.

So my hubby and I sat down and made some decisions. This weekend is efficiency weekend. We're changing to basic cable (couldn't agree on no cable, though I hadn't seen this yet!), doing at-home tune-ups on our vehicles, finally installing the clothes line, making lunches and prepping coffee and breakfast the night before, menu planning each week, and no more random yard saleing and thrifting for me.

Unless I'm specifically looking for something I NEED. (LOL!)

*MINI RANT ALLERT*
10. Everyone has an opinion about everyone else's business and everyone thinks (knows) their opinion is right and everyone wants everyone else to hear their opinions (knowledge) about everyone else's business. *sigh*

Okay, I'm being a little cynical and sarcastic, but this is trully how I felt Thursday. If people only knew the whole story. If they had their facts straight. If they really cared about the situation instead of being heard and noticed and getting the attention. Maybe, perhaps, it might possibly change things.

But it's not their business. And instead of saying "well, there might be more to the story, I guess it's not worth speculating about," they jump ahead and think they can blab all over town about you and how they think you should be living your life.

*sigh*

I do love a new challenge...

2008-08-01T09:59:00.003-04:00

Another new button on my sidebar means another new challenge and you know how I love a good challenge!
Here are the rules for the Buy Nothing Challenge:
No new clothes check
No new gadgets check
No new furniture or housewares check
No salon services (except haircuts) check (don't use 'em anyway)
No new makeup check (all stocked up, and it's summer time! Who needs makeup?!)
No new tools okay, fine
No whatever else people buy Mmmm...check
No eating out CHECK!!! I agree wholeheartedly!