Thursday, June 26, 2008

Awareness

I've become more and more aware of my shopping-as-therapy activity lately. It's not so much the shopping, it's the clothing. I'm not happy with my body, and it's going to take a LOOONg time to change my body, so wearing something new makes me happy. Therefore, I shop for new clothes and get a quick hit of gratification that first few times I wear them, then I'm back where I started...back at the store, looking for something new again to soothe my unhappiness with my body.

Perhaps actually attempting real lifestyle-type change would be in order! (Rather than "dieting") While I do plan to make a series of food-related lifestyle changes in the near future, I am also looking at this whole shopping thing. It has such a negative impact on so many areas of my life, including (but certainly not limited to...) finances, my marriage (hiding my purchases when I don't feel like justifying them...because I know deep down I can't justify my purchases!), and the attitude that I can ignore the real problem and just keep buying clothes!

In a way, it's fortunate that I'm, well, oddly shaped. There, I said it. Let's just get it out there on the table! I'm short and stout. I will take 10 or more items into the dressing room and MAYBE come out with 1 or 2. I say this is fortunate, because it keeps me from buying out the store!!!

I'm large but petite...another contradiction! I'm 5'1" and, let's just say...Queenish. And I don't mean that in a royal way. But you know how pantyhose comes in A, B, and Queen? I love that! I would never have thought of naming a size Queen. And certainly not a large size! Maybe they should rename the "A" category "Princess!" Guess not. Right, so...it doesn't stop there. I'm bottom heavy too. And my arms are larger than their normally corresponding torso, so any tops I get "off the shelf" have to be a bit big in the torso so as to allow for a roomier sleeve. Then my waist is a much narrower size than my butt and thighs. Even when I was thin, I lamented my huge thighs. (I promise, God, If I'm ever size 4 again, I won't complain about my overly muscular legs!!!) So if I can manage to get pants or a skirt over my hips and thighs, the waistband is usually saggy...and since I'm petite, it's often at-or-above my belly button. (think old man pants!!!)

To clear up, I would say I have a size 16 waist, but have to wear 18 to not make my butt and thighs skin-tight. I could fit into size 10/12 (Large) shirt, but now need to wear XL (14/16) to allow for a normal range of motion in my arms!

A few years ago when I was given my new sewing machine, I got real excited (see last post). I had these plans of customizing patterns for my shape and maybe even designing my own clothes. I had so many ideas of necklines and dress styles, seriously. So many! And then I started cutting out a pattern and, well...it took too long and my scissors slid all over the place, and there wasn't enough room to block out the whole pattern, and the sewing machine was taking some getting used to and....well, see my last post.

All this explanation leads me to this: I found, quite by accident, Wardrobe Refashion. I was wearing a brown-toned top with black slacks one day earlier this week and was feeling a bit "what not to wear-ish" and decided to google "fashion rules." It was then that I stumbled upon this fantastic, amazing site/challenge/community! You have to check it out for yourself, I can't do it justice in the few words and minutes I have left to make this post...please check it out!!!

So I'm going to make friends with my 2-year-old, brand-spankin-new sewing machine my hubby got for me and take the challenge...no NEW clothes for two months! I don't officially start until July 1st, but I'm already starting on two projects.

*just lost the rest of my post for the 3rd time!!! oi.*

So, what I so-eloquently said (and lost 3 times!!!!), in a nutshell....is that yeah, this could end up really bad-looking, but I'm already wearing really ill-fitting clothes, so why not take the challenge for just two months? I'm not that great a seamstress, but this will also give me the chance to get better at it!

I can't wait to finish up my first two projects and move on to the other 20 in my head! (only half kidding!) And I'll add my progress here...it's really very exciting! The key is going to be doing this without getting obsessed about it!






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