Friday, August 15, 2008


Here's a question for y'all:

How do you manage
-simplifying your life
-working a full time job
-implementing cost-savings lifestyle changes that add time to your chores
-implementing health-savings lifestyle changes that add time and quality to your life but also take time and energy from your day
-participating/leading/coordinating two volunteer/mission projects
-stoping to smell the roses
-challenging yourself to grow in many different ways (and hopefully not horizontally like me)
-doing it all well
-not feeling pulled in 10 different directions at once

-(and I don't even have kids to take care of!)
No wonder I'm in counseling.
Which is sort of a ha-ha statement, but more in a "ha-ha...ha...that's not really funny is it?" sort of way.

One answer I just thought of (aha moment): As much as I enjoy the shows Bones, House, the Bill Engvall Show, Ghost Hunters, Cheers reruns, and watching live NASCAR races, I simply don't think I have time for them anymore!

And then of course there's the more obvious answer:

You Don't.

So perhaps I have to give up one (or five) of those things!
-Like leading/coordinating two missions (participating is still an option, isn't it?)
-And of course the one I really want to give up is the full time job, but let's be realistic, here.
-Maybe Challenging myself to grow in MANY different ways is a bit much. One or two is more at pace with reality.

Maybe the answers will come to me this weekend as I float on Conway Lake between scattered showers and the threat of thunderstorms.
Or around the fire.
Probably around the fire.


Bragger said...

One of the hardest words I had to learn was "no." (Could be one of the reasons I've been married three times, but probably not.)

I also had to decide what ONE THING was most important and concentrate on that. When that one thing became easy (or I decided it wasn't really that important after all), then I went on to something else.

I went through a period when I overextended myself on a regular basis. I decided it was an ego thing: I thought my mediocre was better than a lot of people's best. I had to let go of that.

I feel for you. Don't beat yourself up. And enjoy floating on the lake.

MJ said...

Thanks for your comment, Bragger! I had begun to say "no" more often, but obviously need that reminder!
Thinking about the one most important thing is harder, and is such a great idea.
Yes, all kinds of other things are good and feel good, and might be great goals to have; but at the end of the day it's my marriage that means the most to me.
Whatever is supporting our marriage must be priority. Whatever is taking away from it must not.
Not to say that I can't have things of my own to do, but if it is negatively impacting my marriage, it's not healthy (for this time in life.)

Jana B said...

Bragger has a point, the word "no" is very important.

It's also important not to try and build Rome in a day, ya know? If you're feeling overwhelmed, you may be trying to make too many changes at once. Maybe instead of trying to change all of your eating habits and adding exercise all at the same time, maybe start with one small change in that area (like, learning to cook more veggies, or just trying to exercise each day)... and one small change in each of the other areas... once those become routine, then add new small changes too.

MJ said...

Y'all are so good for me!
Thanks for your great comments. I do have to slow myself down. Often! It seems to be one of a couple of lessons I am forced to learn and re-learn every few years or so. Pace myself. Give myself a break, lower my personal expectations of perfection and wonder-womanness!