the good, the bad and the ugly

Let's just be honest. Growing up I somehow got the impression that it was less noble to feel mad or angry than dissapointed or hurt. I never acknowledged anger or rage, just transformed it to dissapointment and turned myself into a victim (being constantly hurt).

And while we're being honest, let's acknowledge that marriage is hard and work and frustrating and anger-inducing and maddening along with all the good things about it.

I'm mad. And I'm angry. Frustrated. Hurt, yes but mostly angry. Enraged. Adrenaline-pumping, emotion-seething anger.

It's no secret my hubby and I are in couple's counseling. It's no secret I myself am in personal counseling. I SO wish we were at our counselor's this afternoon! Our much-anticipated camping weekend coming up with his family is now a bit less-than-anticipated and instead is closer to being in the "dreaded" category.

I'm enraged because my hubby can't seem to stick up for himself (or his wife) to his folks. Mom, the emotional drain and Dad, the "voice of reason" like the snake in the Garden of Eden. What he suggests makes sense when you're talking to him, but then you walk away and shake your head and say "Hey, wait. What about such-and-such! Oh well, too late now." He's a really good salesperson.

And in the middle of this is the 30-day husband encouragement challenge. While I had (and have) every intent of continuing the challenge, I cannot deny the fact that we are both flawed. I get pretty emotional and expect him to stand up for me and he can't even stand up for himself, much less me, so who has the delusional/unrealistic expectations here?

I think the challenge is a good idea, but we also live in the real world and I doubt that the spirit of the challenge is to pretend there's no real problems until the end of the month! Bringing focus to how you treat and talk about your husband is quite important in my view and one of my pet peeves is women who go on and on about the little things that their husband does wrong . Petty little things that just make the woman look picky and falsely superior.

If I am sounding that way, I give you permission to gently bring my attention to that. Please.

Motorcycle safety training, day 1:

So cool! I'm super excited to get on the bike tomorrow. Tonight was all classwork, three hours worth!
I'm the only woman in a class of 11 students. We'll have about five or so hours of range riding tomorrow and then another three hours of classwork. One of the instructors is a woman as well.
We don't actually need jackets, which is good since it's going to be in the 80's and no shade! All we need is a long sleeved shirt. I'm glad for that, since I have to wear constricing boots.
Have I mentioned my dislike of all things enclosed being anywhere near my feet? My feet are like leather because I go barefoot as much as I possibly can in the spring, summer and fall. And in the winter, I still go barefoot when I'm home!
I'm getting a little irritated with my hubby, so it's a very good thing I'm doing the 30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge! Stop and think. Stop and think!

August Challenges

Buy Nothing New Challenge:
First, what I have bought:
Puffs Plus (1.99) *Not sure if this is considered breaking the challenge, but it is for me because I really want to use my hankies instead of buying tissues. Unfortunately, today is one of "those days" where I get this incredibly bad sinus headache and can't stop sneezing. It's been going on for a couple years and noone knows what it is or why it happens. And nothing I have tried taking seems to prevent it!
store brand tylenol (2.99) *I know medicine isn't meant to be restricted, but I have plenty of meds at home but couldn't wait another four hours for relief!

Now, what I haven't bought: (but would have if it wasn't for this challenge)
Removable or retractable clothes line (anywhere from $20 to $150)
Egg Beaters (Egg product in a milk carton type package) ($5.99) *I was intending to buy the egg product for camping, but thought twice when they rang up at such a high price. I can just mix up my own eggs and put them in a resealable container for much less money!!

Husband Encouragement Challenge:
This has been a really neat exercise. It's a daily reminder that I am the primary source of encouragement in my hubby's life. He doesn't get a lot of positive feedback from his folks, work is quite stressfull and they don't show appreciation well, and his friends are not exactly a healthy influence. So when I am grumpy and grouchy and take him for granted, it's compounded because home is supposed to be that safe place, the "castle" so-to-speak. I'm not saying I won't allow myself to be honest about my feelings, but let's face it. There are times I have just been grouchy from work and don't reign it in before I get home, and he pays for it. (Sorry sweetie!)

Stash Month Challenge:
I haven't bought any new craft items yet! Actually, I had this great idea for a wedding present for a good friend of mine. She's getting married at the end of the month (Aug 30th) and her invitation states at the bottom: The gift of your presence is present enough. So cute, but oi. I'm sooo happy for her! She's almost 50, never been married, dated a lot of okay guys, and about 10 months ago found this really great guy! I just can't stop grinning when I think of them! And we all want to just whoop with joy over how perfect they are for each other and how wonderfull it is that they found each other! And I want to celebrate by doing something special. I have never liked "cookie-cutter" gifts like a place setting or a silverware set. I really enjoy finding or making something I know they'll just LOVE and never would have thought of themselves.
So, I thought - why don't I make a cross stitch of their invitation and frame it really nicely? It won't be so elaborate I won't be able to finish it in time, but it will be incredibly personal and totally unique. (Also one of my prerequisites for cross stitch projects.) So I went through my newly-organized embroidery floss and irish linen stash and what do you know...I found exactly the right colors!! I already have everything I need for the project except for the frame. And I bet you I can find that in my storage area too!

Org Junkie's Monthly Organizing Round Up: (Mudroom/Entryway)
Well, I've taken before pictures of the mudroom and the spaces that I anticipate putting all the coats, boots, shoes, etc. in. As I shared before, the timing of this challenge is perfect because in September, we're taking off the mudroom addition to the house and we aren't replacing it, so we have to find room "elsewhere." As for actual progress, that hasn't been made. But one step at a time, right?

Quit Now Challenge: Snooze Button
Mmmm. The snooze button. I'm getting the feeling this is going to be the hardest challenge of all. I used to hit the snooze button for an hour. August 1st: 40 minutes. August 2nd: 30 minutes. August 3rd: 30 minutes. August 4th: an hour. *sigh*

Menu Plan Mondays:
I was actually so excited about this, I went home and planned my menu last thursday! Here's what's up for the week.
Monday: Leftovers
Tuesday: Slow-cooker Chicken and Pineapple Rice with peas
Wednesday: Leftovers
Thursday: Spaghetti and meatsauce with ground turkey and salad
Friday: Leftovers
Saturday: All Day Mac N Cheese
Sunday: Homemade Pizzas with leftover meatsauce

The challenge that will make the most difference

I saw this a few months ago, thought it was a great idea, and promptly forgot about it. (That was pre-How to Grow blog.)
The 30-day Husband Encouragement Challenge.
It includes daily suggestions and scriptures. I'm starting today!

And with that, I declare no more new challenges for August!