Twist of Fate Farm

I made my first trip to Twist of Fate Farm in Dunbarton, NH today. It is so easy to get to, a little out of the way, but straightforward directions make it simple. The farm is only 6.5 miles from exit 6 on 293 in Manchester, and it took me only 13 minutes from the highway.
I got eggs freshly washed and still warm! (At $3/dozen) I also picked up some bulk breakfast sausage, bacon and some baking apples. Everything was well organized and clean. They have local ice cream and other local food products like pickles and relishes, bread mixes and jellies, soaps and lotions.
I'll definitely be making regular trips to Twist of Fate Farm. I'm thinking bacon-wrapped sirloin tips...
My hubby asked about prices when I was gushing over the freshness of the eggs. Apples to apples, I'd pay $5 a dozen for organic eggs at the big grocery store. Apples to oranges, I'd pay $2 a dozen for non-organic eggs.

Eat Local Challenge, October 2008

I've taken the Eat Local Challenge for October 2008. I'm really looking forward to it! I used to assume local and organically grown/raised food was more expensive that chain store prices, but as I dug deeper and deeper, I found that becoming a part of a CSA is actually incredibly cost effective. (More about CSA's at the bottom of this post.)

I was also impressed by one person's experience as she took meticulous records and calculated the cost of her average day's worth of food consumption. It's a real eye opener!

I can't tell you the main reason why I took this challenge, as there are so many reasons and so many aspects of it that I'm looking forward to.

First, it's supporting the local economy. But that wasn't even a consideration to me at first. Let's face it. I am pretty self-centered. I'm not one to say "ask not what my local economy can do for me, ask what I can do for my local economy." (Or switch "local economy" with just about anything else!) It Sounds good. It Fells good, but realistically? Good or bad, no, it's not the mindset I've developed over the years. But now? Now it's definitely a consideration. Especially after my experience with the "farm stand" acros the stree from work. (Sold Carolina peaches, as if they were grown in NH. Ptuey! I go to a local farm stand, I want local grown food!)

I'm looking forward to meeting my neighbors!
I can't wait to experience food fresh from the farm.
I'm eager to rise to the challenge of finding all of my food from local sources.
I love the idea of canning my own (or my own CSA'd) pickles and tomatoes and peppers and jellies and *sigh* so much more!
As much as I have to admit what I consider my weakness in not being able to fish or hunt (or raise peculiar and oddly-loveable chickens) because I simply cannot kill them, I am also simply not going to become a vegitarian.
But I can visit the farms, help out, learn about raising the cattle and chickens and other livestock, and leave the rest to my probably-even-worse imagination.
Actually, we had a chicken coop growing up in Alaska and I'll never forget my Mom explaining why we didn't eat chicken much. (It was pretty hard on Dad having to kill them and pluck the feathers out, etc.) I was pretty young and probably was told to go play at a friend's house when this was going on, so I literally don't have any memories of it.
Another reason is that I've been living vicariously through Bee and Susan's experiences this summer and am really eager to join in!

For thos of you who, like myself, don't know what a CSA is, it is "Community Supported Agriculture" where area residents purchase a share of the farm and in exchange, they receive a portion of the weekly harvests!

Sounds expensive, right? That's what I thought. But look around, check out the CSA's near you, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised (or shocked) at some of the deals you can find!

Here is my consolidated list of references and sources for locally grown/raised food. Many of the links are to National Directories, so even if you don't live in NH, it's worth taking a look at.

Note to Self: 2nd Edition

After last week's first Note to Self post, I thought it would be a good idea to do it weekly. And since it's my blog, I agreed with myself wholeheartedly and here we are.

Without further ado, random lessons and insights I've learned in life this week:

1. "The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything they have." Read the whole story here. And thank you Jenn for sharing this with us!

2. I need to use up stash since I have limited space, and I need to stop spending since I have limited budget. Therefore, I declare August Stash Month with a $20 necessities crafting budget. And I do mean necessities. Like thread, etc. But seriously, I have so much, I don't think I'll NEED anything. "Want" is a different story altogether! I'll admit though, I've been thinking about this for a few days and stocked up on some things I think I might want this month!

Anyone want to join me? I'm doodling while I'm on hold today. (Rrrrrr. Hate insurance companies!!!) Trying to come up with a cool graphic for August's Stash Month. Stay tuned!

3. Real, lasting change takes time. I thought I had my ice cream habit under control, but I really felt tempted earlier this week. I had thought a few times previously in the month that I could move on to more of the lactose family before August, but I'm glad I didn't. I think it would have been one more instance of me jumping in over my head. This month, my Quit Now Challenge is going to be quitting the snooze button. I'll still refrain from ice cream, but I don't think I'm ready to give up cheese, cream in my coffee, and butter yet.

As for the Snooze button, I didn't fail miserably this morning, but I didn't get right up either. I tend to hit the snooze button for about an hour. I only did it for 40 minutes today, so progress has been made.

Along these same lines, I intend to organize my house from top to bottom. But let's be realistic, right? That's one huge job, no matter what size your house is! Luckily, I found Org Junkie's Monthly Organization Roundup which targets one room each month. This matches right up with my new "pace yourself" mentality! In August we're targeting the mudroom/entryway. I say it's not a moment too soon!

(what you see when you walk in the mudroom - this is also the entrance used about 99% of the time.)

This was an addition to the main house. In September, we're tearing this room down and re-roofing the house but not replacing this room. So in the meantime, I have to find a new home for the shoes, coats, mittens, and hats. Everything else can go where it belongs...in the shed or in my hubby's work van!! And the rectangular bucket in the lower left corner? Catches the rain. Whoever added the porch didn't tie it in well with the existing roof. Oi. Drives my hubby crazy, being a carpenter and perfectionist!

(looking back at the front door)

Think we have enough shoes?

(Slowly sinking)

The mystery closet! What ever will I find in there?

edited *** I just realized that in light of my previous post (Buy Nothing Challenge) I can't make any organization-product related purchases! This is an even bigger challenge than I thought and it gets me excited!!!

4. Keep your car clean! Remember how your mama always told you to wear clean underwear "in case you got in an accident and ended up in the hospital?" Well this is along the same idea. You might just break down somewhere (or leave your lights on all day and drain your battery) and have some stranger in your car learning all of your dirty car secrets!

5. If something is going to happen to my car, it's going to happen when my hubby's out of town! See previous lesson...happened last Friday night right after he left! Last time he went away, I got a flat tire...and I changed it myself! Thanks, Dad, for teaching me how to do that while I was learning how to drive. It's been 15 years, but it stuck with me!

6. It IS possible to get out aged mystery stains from a vintage linen tablecloth. Just soak in two cups of Oxyclean, forget about it for 7 hours, run through the delicate wash cycle and voila! Clean table cloth. I did Literally forget about it! I meant to soak it for an hour and then run the wash, but completely forgot...and I'm so glad! (The package says to add 2-4 scoops per gallon of water for soaking 1-6 hours.) The scoop looked about a quarter cup and I wasn't sure how many gallons of water the small load setting used, so I just guestimated 5 gallons and added 8 scoops which ended up being almost all of the small package!

Thank you to my new friends over at Wardrobe Refashion for all of their fantastic ideas!!

7. I learned how to Trim My Own Hair using these tips!! My hubby was kind enough (and patient enough!) to play photographer for me while I cut my hair for the second time in my life. The first time didn't end so well. I was somewhere between 5 and 8 years old and took those plastic Discovery Toys safety scissors to my bangs. Mom was away at a weekend conference and my Dad and brother didn't even notice!! Good stuff. This week's trim wasn't very noticeable. Actually, if I hadn't been doing the cutting, I'd question whether anything was actually cut! I went by the rule to cut less...you can always cut more later. Really, I just wanted a trim to get the split ends off without paying out the nose!

8. It IS possible for me to get motivated in a job I don't care about! Well, maybe it's false motivation, let's just call it productivity! Thursday I dressed professionally, passed up the decaf for real coffee (with extra sugar!) and logged onto my favorite radio station, WOKQ, for their live streaming. I put on my headphones and bebopped (or country-bopped) through my day. I actually learned to do this in college when I'd work in the computer lab with tons of distractions. I'd put on my walkman (remember those?!) and would be able to breeze through my work. I think it kind of takes the distractable/ADHD part of my brain and keeps it busy so I don't get distracted by everything else around me. However it works, it WORKS!

9. It's time for a change. All the while I'm saving money by making my own laundry detergent and kitchen rags and not buying ice cream (LOL) and making hankerchiefs and on and on and on, I'm going to yard sales getting stuff I don't NEED, going antiquing, thrift shopping and on and on and on. Not that yard sales and thrift shopping are bad, but if I don't NEED something, why am I there? To find a deal? On something I don't NEED? Just a new obsession? This is part of what drove me to my proclamation earlier in the week that I'm ready to make a change in my finances.

So my hubby and I sat down and made some decisions. This weekend is efficiency weekend. We're changing to basic cable (couldn't agree on no cable, though I hadn't seen this yet!), doing at-home tune-ups on our vehicles, finally installing the clothes line, making lunches and prepping coffee and breakfast the night before, menu planning each week, and no more random yard saleing and thrifting for me.

Unless I'm specifically looking for something I NEED. (LOL!)

*MINI RANT ALLERT*
10. Everyone has an opinion about everyone else's business and everyone thinks (knows) their opinion is right and everyone wants everyone else to hear their opinions (knowledge) about everyone else's business. *sigh*

Okay, I'm being a little cynical and sarcastic, but this is trully how I felt Thursday. If people only knew the whole story. If they had their facts straight. If they really cared about the situation instead of being heard and noticed and getting the attention. Maybe, perhaps, it might possibly change things.

But it's not their business. And instead of saying "well, there might be more to the story, I guess it's not worth speculating about," they jump ahead and think they can blab all over town about you and how they think you should be living your life.

*sigh*

Success!

Sunday was a success! I was to facilitate a meeting after services for a group of prospective volunteers for the furniture ministry, but only one person showed up. It actually worked out really well because it was the friend I've mentioned before that is studying poverty and really getting involved in a few ways on her own. She's going to India in October to visit the child she sponsors. I'm quite moved by her story and how she's being led in some interesting directions. We ended up brainstorming ideas for increasing awareness of the ministry because I think the majority of members at the church are unaware of what exactly we do!

I also consider yesterday a success because I did a little rearranging of my craft area in the basement. As new as it is, I was already feeling the growing pains and realizing some things just weren't working for me! Like the clothing rack. It's pretty flimsy and old (a hand-me-down from a relative) and was about to keel over from the strain! I had found a shelving unit with a closet pole in the beginning of the summer for $5 that I had meant to give to the furniture ministry for organization but just had never gotten around to bringing it over. I snatched that and put it to work for myself instead!

I neglected to take any pictures, but I am so pleased with myself! I'll take pics tonight, because I simply LOVE the area now! I love being there, looking at my new shelves; the orderly rack that doesn't make me nervous about it's precariousness; the completed feeling it has; the orderliness and uncluttered feel. Granted, I haven't worked on anything since it's been rearranged, but I'll examine that issue later!

And a bonus: my hubby approves! He's not really into change. It's totally not his cuppa tea. His reaction when I said I stopped at the thrift store on the way to the barbecue was "great, more junk." *sigh*

So when I dragged the shelving from it's hiding place and did even more re-arranging to his donated section of man town, I held my breath, anticipating the worst. And prepared to brush it off. Except he surprised me with 100% approval! Who'd have thought? Maybe he's simply in a generous spirit since it's almost our anniversary. LOL

I had a twinge of discomfort Saturday while I was driving out to the country and back. I passed about four ice cream stands. You know the kind. Homemade ice cream. Fresh, sweet ice cream. The kind you pay out the wazoo for; but then again, they pile that cone so high you don't know how you'll ever finish it. That kind. The little stand by the side of the road that doesn't sell anything else but ice cream kind of ice cream stand. Yeah. *sigh* Eight chances to have ice cream. Just this once.

And yet, I still didn't dip into the sherbet or the super rich gelato when I got home. But then I think about August. Technically, the month will be over and the challenge will be new. But my intention is to kick all lactose in August which unfortunately includes ice cream. What a dilemma. I was also going to kick the "snooze button habit" in august, but I may have some rethinking to do on that score as well!

We'll have to see what happens in 10.5 days!

Free Rice and Deep Thoughts

First, Free Rice. I remember my little korean sister playing the free rice game last fall and thought it was a great idea...then promptly forgot about it! There is a link on my sidebar that will bring you to the site. The basic premise is that for every correct answer you give, 20 pieces of rice will be donated. For any more information on who is donating what to whom, go to the site and click on FAQs on the top menu bar. (More about my little korean sister later.)

What I like about it (besides the donation) is that it strengthens your vocabulary. What you should know before you "play" is that you can quit at any time. It will never ask you for your e-mail or give you a score or anything (though it tracks your vocab "level" on an ongoing basis). I didn't realize at first that there was no end to this game and just kept on going. I had it on my computer pretty much most of the morning and kept going back to it while I was on hold (on the phone) or waiting for my computer to think about what I wanted it to do (don't get me started!!). So you can quit at any time without your accumulated donation being forfeited!

Second: deep thoughts.
We went to our 4th marriage counseling session yesterday afternoon. We'll call this counselor "Phil." One thing Phil said which really struck me is that it's not enough to identify a problem, habit or behavior. It's good, but it's not the end of the growth process. We have to then get to the root of why it's become a problem. Otherwise, even if we change, if we don't also address the underlying cause, lasting & effective change will not occur. Maybe we never regress back to that problem, but a new one likely develops to replace it.

Take, for instance, ice cream (gee, how did I think of that?). Even though I'm no longer eating ice cream, doesn't mean I've addressed the underlying problem. Now I'm replacing it (and clothes shopping) with becoming a craft store junkie! Oi.

Right after our session, I went to the store and was pretty contemplative, having just gotten some somewhat unsettling news. This was all on my mind as I perused the materials and patterns and notions. I think it's telling that I put a lot back before I checked out. I also think it's telling that I went there without having planned it. So I'm making a little progress, but I've got a lot of work to do!

Again, I shouldn't try to sew at night!

Perhaps I should just plan, draw, make project bags, and do frivolous crafty things at night until I'm more proficient at sewing!

I picked out a shirt I haven't seen my hubby wear in YEARS, but since he was working on a side-job last night, I didn't cut into it yet. So my shorts project is currently on hold until tonight, but maybe I shouldn't even attempt it until Saturday! LOL

I found some sale fabric that would make great shorts at the fabric store last night. I know... dangerous territory, but I was very good. I even put a lot of items back before I checked out! The fabrics I purchased were either remnants or $1 or $2 per yard. I'll have to go back and find the receipt, because I forgot to post it on my running tally last night...

Right, so I found this shorts fabric at $1 per yard and a cute simple shorts pattern, and while I was waiting to get it cut, I decided to spring for extra since it was such a great color, and price. It's a nice lightwieght but "sturdy" material.

Well, it's a good thing I got so much extra because I was fed up with the pattern and just started cutting what I thought I needed based on looking at the jeans I currently fit into (bad idea #1) ...then went back to the pattern and actually used it to cut the pieces as they should be, but forgot that there were different patterns for different lengths (bad idea #2) so even though a piece says "E", I should have kept looking for "cut 1" or "cut 2." Luckily, I have enough leftover yardage I'll still be able to make at least one pair of shorts from when I get back to it!!!

I used to be so patient and never just rushed into stuff like this. I think working at night makes me rush things. Plus I really wanted to finish it last night so I could wear them this weekend to a barbeque at a friend's house. Again, caught by the deadline! Well, no finished shorts.

But I have discovered an unexpected bonus to this crafting-at-night practice I've developed. I've slept really well this week! I think putting my mind to something at night really helps tire me out so that my mind can't race while I'm staring at the ceiling wishing I were asleep! (or maybe it's the no-ice cream thing! I love ice cream with chocolate swirl or chocolate chips or chocolate anything added! Major caffeine intake I alwayse chose to ignore!!!)

So perhaps I'll find something simple I can make at night and just make a bazillion of them for a craft fair or something! Like clutch purses or the project bags (thought they'll have to be a heck of a lot better put together than the first ones I've done!) Or Blue Yonder's hankercheifs. I tried one last night from a sage green flanel remnant I found at the store yesterday and LOVE it! I'm using it today, it's very soft, very cozy and I don't even miss the puffs plus! (And I don't miss the cost or the waste either!!) And while I'm on the subject, I can't say enough great things about Blue Yonder! So I'll keep it short. Two words: Taaaa-lent! (Writing, cooking, sewing, parenting...)
Plus, if I win the AMAZING Old Red Barn quilt, I'll owe it all to her for posting it on her blog! (Have you heard about the quilt giveaway? No? Why the heck not?! Click on the icon at the top right side of the page and check it out. Now!)

Setting Boundaries

I've decided to use an organza type material for the tie-backs on my previously dubbed "interview shirt," but that would require another trip to the craft store. What to do, what to do.

I may limit myself to going with my hubby. He's good at standing there and saying "what are you going to use that for? do you really need that? are you sure you need that much?"

I know it will be a bit of a sacrifice for him, but maybe I can make it up to him by going to the Hobby shop with him afterwards!

I've been reading Boundaries lately. In a very teeny tiny nutshell, it's about setting healthy parameters on your relationships. Like saying "I love you Mom, but right now's not a good time to visit. Thanks for dropping by, let's get together tomorrow." Instead of allowing her to just drop in for an unannounced visit while you are trying to clean the house and bake brownies for the PTA meeting and get those birthday party invitations ready before the mail carrier comes.

I'm on the chapter dealing with setting limits on your personal behavior, like your relationship with food and shopping! It's quite interesting to be doing all of this when I come to this chapter. Interesting and revealing! I highly recommend the book.

the big questions...

I had my interview this morning and I think I spent more time contemplating my interview outfit than preparing for the interview itself! In the end, it really didn't matter. I mean, how do you prepare for an interview? Normally, I'd find the company's website, learn as much as I can about their service, industry and market, and try to dig down a little deeper into whatever part of the company I'd be working in. It's hard to really research a state agency. I suppose I could have tried.

There were three of them! I anticipated that, and it wasn't even unnerving, but when I think about it, it could have been very nerve wracking! One asked me if I knew how many Commissioners there were. I said I really hadn't thought about it but supposed one. Wrong. I mean, is that really a serious interview question? I think it was more of an educational method. You know...the teacher doesn't just say 5 X 5 is 25. The teacher asks...what's 5 X 5? Then you remember it better because you actively think about both the question and answer.

I seriously don't think that's going to be a major sticking point in the overall interview review, but I laughed about it later.

I ended up selecting a shirt this morning because it was clean. Good reason to wear something to an interview! I couldn't find the one I wanted, and the refashioned one I REALLY wanted wasn't turning out the way I imagined in my head!

It's interesting...I even changed my shoes at the last minute because I had on these cute short heels (1") with a great point and little bow, but I sometimes roll my ankle and I didn't want to worry about looking stupid walking down the hall and falling, so I wore the less-cute-but-still-nice flats.

It's interesting to me because I think going into an interview you want to portray confidence and there are a few factors that go into confidence. You have to weigh those factors against each other until you find the balance and where you need to be. I had to weigh comfort against appearance (shirt - didn't have full range of motion in my arms with another one, but it looked more professional) and I had to weigh appearance with ease-of-mind with the shoes.

In the end, I was confident that I looked professional and wouldn't fall on my face. Works for me!

A sample of the big questions of the morning:


If you were in a position where a co-worker is being treated unfairly and you'd need to intervene on their behalf, what would you do and why?


What is your definition of morals and integrity?


Describe a situation in which you've personally demonstrated integrity.


You've messed up really bad. What do you do?


Describe a situation in which there is really bad communication and what you did to correct it.


What is one of the hardest things you face in a working situation and why.


Do I stay up all night working on the shirt that's going to make me feel fantastic or do I go to sleep early since I haven't gotten a good night's rest in almost a week?





(Still on hangers) black straight-leg slacks, chiffon-y polyester top with dotted tank lining. The top was a little busy and harsh for my taste, but it fits great. They are all store bought and all pieces I've work quite a bit. I really want to refashion something great, but I think it's going to take a certain amount of practice and trial-and-error and building experience before I get there. Not that I'm setting my expectations low. I think I'm simply being realistic.

I went to Wendy's last night with an older woman who's taken me under her wing. She's fantastic! I've never had grandparents very close (always at least 2 hours away) and I get to see her once or twice a week now. I have to tell you, I am so encouraged by her! I think our minds work very similarly and it's great seeing that she turned out all right, so I've got a chance too! My point was going to be about Wendy's though.

It's getting harder and harder to pass up the ice cream. It's still not difficult. On a scale of 1.) No Problem, 5.) Difficult, to 10.) Impossible, I'd say I'm at a 3. So no worries yet, but we went inside to order last night and being in the presence of fresh Frosties for an extended period of time was probably a little bit of a temptation. I didn't dwell on it, but it occurred to me once or twice.

I'm glad we went though, because it tells me I need to be aware of these things. Awareness is powerful.

conTemplative Tuesdays

What's the deal?

Why is it that sometimes you can quit something and it "sticks," or is relatively easy, and other times it is incredibly hard and you end up "falling off the wagon" relatively quickly? I've experienced both quite a few times. I've analyzed the circumstances, the condition of my heart and mind, my intentions, etc. and yet I don't quite see why I sometimes have great success and I sometimes fail almost immediately.

Quitting ice cream is not something new to me. Quitting JUST ice cream is, but I've done it before. I still have ice cream in the freezer. I couldn't see myself throwing out perfectly good food just because I was rejecting it. My hubby complains if there isn't any around, though he hasn't had any since I stopped! *Fine balance there. At least he has the choice!*

And it's not like I thought about it long and hard, planned for it in advance, etc. I just did it. I've WANTED to do it in the past, DONE it, and made it about 8 hours before breaking down and stopping for a pint (or more) at the corner store.

So what's different this time? That I DIDN'T plan?

That I told myself every afternoon for the last week leading up to it that I had to do something about it (but not made plans) because it made me feel so blah and icky after?

Was it because I WANTED to change my habit? Was it because I was READY to change my habit? Was it because I RECOGNIZED that it was a habit?

Was it because I recognized the root of the problem?

See, when I'm out on my lunch break, I'll be driving back to work or checking my watch, sitting in the parking lot or on the lawn, and suddenly I'll have this desperate thought...do I have any food at work? What if I get hungry? Will I be trapped at work with no way of getting to food?
I think this desperation goes back to two factors...

Growing up we were pretty poor. I didn't know any better, so it wasn't a big deal. But I suspect that I was probably not a stranger to hunger and that may be a factor in me being very cautions and aware of my state of hunger or fullness. In fact, just thinking about going back to work in the afternoon without any food in store for me there causes me to feel hunger! (Then when I get to the store, I naturally move to the freezer and get the same brand and flavor almost every time! Did someone mention the word habit?)

A few years ago, my hubby and I were driving north to a very rural area of New England. We'd stopped for dinner and he wanted to grab a coffee at the Dunkin Donuts before we got back on the highway. It was pretty much the last exit on the highway that we could count on the stores still being open so late at night; and as we stood in line I began thinking about that fact. Now mind you, I'd just had dinner. I had a full stomach (presumably). But I began to think desperately - what if I get hungry along the way? *sigh*

I bought a donut. I didn't eat it, but just having it there gave me the security that I wouldn't go hungry. Hmm.

The second factor is that I have a suspicion that I'm hypoglycemic. When I get truly over-hungry, I get shaky, dizzy, grouchy and a little bit weak. I don't faint. I've not yet fainted once in my entire life. I'm not that girl! But because of this, I like to have a little something in my purse, in the fridge, at my desk, etc. You get the picture.

I guess it doesn't matter as much WHY it's working, but THAT it's working this time.

Until I want to duplicate the success! LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I read back through this entry, a few words pop out at me...

"...I was rejecting it." (me, rejecting food. Like it has feelings!)
habit, recognition, root, desperate thought, trapped, just thinking about...[it] makes me feel hunger, naturally, security.

Definitely something to contemplate.

It kind of reminds me of Bret Favre and (unrelated) a former drug addict.

People say - here we go again, Favre's back. How many times is he going to come back out of retirement?!

I never really believed he'd stay in retirement this second time. (I confess, I wasn't really paying attention the first time.) When asked why, I explain - he was visibly upset, you could tell it was really hard on him, it was tearing him apart having to leave the sport as an active player. In contrast, I recall the recent retirement of Rusty Wallace from the NASCAR Sprint Cup series. He was ready. He was looking forward to retirement, he felt good about his career and also felt good about retiring. Now take Favre. To me, it seemed obvious that he didn't feel good about retiring. He didn't seem ready.

The other thing this reminds me of is a TV drama I watched ages ago. I think it was Judging Amy. Her brother (I think) had been an addict and he'd gone through rehab and gotten clean. He had a roommate who found his drug of choice and a needle in his nightstand. His roommate was understandably upset until he explained why it was there.

In his perspective, it was easier to walk away from the drug with it not around, but it gave him a sense of accomplishment to be able to CHOOSE not to use it every day.

Hmm.

My To Do List

Well, I've had to accept that some things just won't happen. Isn't that life, LOL. We ended up running to a big chain store right before the birthday party to get our niece and nephew their gifts...which they loved! It's so much easier getting people gifts when you spend time with them! Especially little ones that don't talk yet! But my little niece is enthralled with bugs and is developing into a major tomboy - even at 2! And my nephew loves telling me about his leapfrog games! So we got our niece a book entitled "I love bugs!" and little rollerskates...the plastic type you slip your shoe into and strap in. And of course, our nephew got a new leapfrog game!

I did finish making the laundry soap and boy - when Jen says be careful about breathing in the powder from the ground soap fresh from the blender, she isn't kidding! Next time I'll follow ALL of her directions!



I think the angle of my shot makes the plastic tub look really small, but it's actually quite deep!

I finally got around to assembling the rice salad idea I had last week. I don't think I wrote about it, but I put it on my To Do list so I wouldn't forget it, like so many other ideas I've had in the past! I put it together this morning quickly before I left for work and sneaked a quick sample: yuuuu-mmmy! I can't wait to try it after it's sat for a few hours. I made up the rice late last week and just had to add the rest of the ingredients:
Green Olives
Blue Cheese (my preference is gorgonzola)
fresh peas (shucked)
dressing
I wanted to use greek dressing, but discovered that we are fresh out! So I used a creamy caesar. I didn't have time to throw my own together, so I just used what I had.


You know, I've heard of tutorials about photographing food and I didn't understand. It's just a close-up shot, right? Well apparently not! Because all my food shots look terrible! I'll have to take that tutorial, LOL!
The reasoning behind this rice salad idea is that eventually I'll cut out white flour from my diet (for medical reasons), so I'm experimenting now so I have good food ideas before I'm wildly desperate! If I were trully following all the restrictions I should be on, I wouldn't have been able to use the dressing either (or the cheese) and I'd use a lemon-juice/olive oil dressing of some sort.

I also intended to finish my green sweater and blue skirt for my interview on Wednesday. Well, the sweater will be done, but not the skirt. I just have to accept it! First is a shot of the sweater before alteration as well as the satin I indent to use as a sash. You can see there is a seam running across the bust/under the arm. The only problem I had with it was that I have a very small torso, so it was hanging really low!

One night last week I couldn't sleep, so I got up and cut it up and re-pinned it at the appropriate height. Unfortunately I pinned the wrong sides together, so when I went back to it I had to figure out how to switch that, but I got it done eventually.



I also couldn't sleep friday night, so I worked on my skirt. Didn't work so well. But I'll write about that whole process once it's complete...needless to say, I'm realizing that sewing isn't the best activity to be doing in the middle of the night! (or any time I'm really tired) Fortunately, I realized that before I began working on anything last night when I was so terribly tired. What a mess that could have turned into!

I've added some new things to my To Do List, including a refasion for a bike jacket for my Hubby. If all goes well, I'll only have to spend money on heavy-duty snaps and whatever tool necessary for attaching them!

Surprisingly enough...

...it's not been that hard to quit Ice Cream for the month. I fully intend to continue after July, but for now we're talking about today. Tuesday I made the decision that Ice Cream would be the first thing I quit, and that I'd start the next day. I went home, had a mug of Friendly's "Wattamellon" Sherbet, and that was it. (Yes, Wattamellon is spelled correctly...the New England/Boston phonetic way - we don't pronounce our R's around heah.) And yes, I went to Wendy's on Wednesday, but no, I didn't get a frosty. I know it's just soft ice cream and I only thought about it for a nanosecond before remembering my pledge not to have ice cream. Gelato, sherbet and sorbet are included.
For Ice Cream being such a daily habit, I'm surprised at how easily I've been able to turn away from it.
Something else which surprises me is how often I go into the kitchen and automatically open the freezer door. Automatically like breathing. Singing. Looking at the clouds. Mindlessly. I just chuckle, shake my head and close the freezer door, but it's interesting to me just what kind of habit it really was! I open a door and there it is. Oh. What a great idea. I was just looking for a snack, any snack, but here's the ice cream...fantastic!
And even with all of that, it hasn't been hard to walk away.
Interesting.
The only thing I will have, though I haven't yet, is the grenata (Italian ice). It's not a lactose product and has no sugar (the kind I make myself) which are the two components of ice cream which make me avoid it. I don't consider that a justification, it's just fact.

What should I quit first?

I saw this blog and knew it was for me. It's not about quitting oil, it's about quitting anything you choose. ...don't get me startedon oil! The basic premise is to give up something for a month, and then you can choose to continue or not to continue after that month is over.
Due to numerous health problems (that all lead back to one health problem...), I have a lot of things I need to quit eating. I've been able to do so in the past, but the longest I ever went was 10 weeks. That was quitting everything at the same time.
Basically, it's a candida problem...hugely magnified, sometimes called systemic candidiasis, but is also highly controvercial and not recognized as yet by the AMA. In a nutshell, I shouldn't have dairy, vinegar, sugar, yeast, or anything fermented (alcohol). In addition, I have had a food alergy panel revealing that I shouldn't have shellfish (knew that!), sesame, dairy, blueberries, bananas and coffee. So no bread, condiments/salad dressings (most contain vinegar), wine, ice cream, many of my favorite foods!
So I'm thinking of implementing this challenge for the remainder of July, but asking myself: where do I start?

Um, pretty sure Ice Cream would be a good choice...

Lunchcapades

I had a great thrifting trip on today's lunch break, but not many pictures taken. There's lots of new projects and ideas for refashioning! I got 13 items for $33.88. Most of them were 1/2 off too! (Half off thrift prices = 1 happy thrifter!)





On my way back to work, I stopped at Dairy Queen and sprung for a French Silk Pie Blizzard. Mmmm...

My new bag, a yard sale find from a couple weeks ago. LOVE it! (I should really clean the price sticker goo off it though!!)

THE BIG BAG 'o thrift finds! Off the top of my head, I got a jean jumper...clearly even I would be too small for the thing, but LOTS of great material! Wool button-up sweater that's way too long and wide for me, but I'll be able to make appropriate adjustments. A Pantsuit/jumper with an attached vest. It's black with white cording detail on the vest. Sounds funny, but it's very elegant. And very much too small for me, but will be good material for something and the detail on the vest will dress something up very nicely. A handful of t-shirts, some plain, some with cool logos or designs. One with a parrot scheme I'll use in a reverse applique for something for my dad - huge parrot head!!

All in all, a good break! Here's some more pics from my craft organizing project from this weekend...



Uhhh...yeah, still in transition!



JUST SOME of my beads!



What could I do with this? Actually, I've been looking through my books and mags again and have all kinds of ideas...but which one do I want to do?



Just a little peek under my *table*skirt!

My (current) favorite recipe

One of my new favorite summertime treats is Grapefruit Granita. I adapted this recipe from the Food Network's Dave Lieberman (from Good Deal with Dave Lieberman).

I was searching for a recipe for Italian Ice so that I could make my own without sugar. I don't care for synthetic sweeteners and want to phase out real sugar from my diet in favor of Stevia. I won't get into the politics of stevia right now, but I personally use it as a sweetener.

So anyway...under Dave Lieberman's ingredients, my alterations are listed in parentheses and bolded:

2 1/2 cups fresh pink or ruby grapefruit juice, at room temperature (2 1/2 cups fresh squeezed grapefruit juice - about 4-5 whole grapefruit)

1 cup boiling water

1/3 cup superfine sugar (1 teaspoon Stevia)

Mint Sprigs, for garnish

Combine juice, water and sugar in bowl and whisk until the sugar has dissolved. (Stevia is very fine, so 1 teaspoon dissolves rather quickly.) Pour liquid into a 13 by 9-inch baking pan. Freeze until hard, about 3-4 hours. (if I'm in a hurry, I use a metal muffin tin so there are smaller "pools" of juice to freeze, plus the metal helps it to freeze faster than my glass baking pans.) To serve, scrape with a fork, then spoon the scrapings into small chilled martini glasses or small glass bowls. Garnish with small sprigs of fresh mint.

It's pretty easy, it just takes some forethought. If you don't already have one, do yourself a favor and spring for a citrus juicer thingy. Even if it's one you have to twist the fruit on yourself, it's a heck of a lot easier than trying to juice a grapefruit without it and keeping the seeds out of the juice in the process! Mine is a very low-tech one that has the cone on top and a basin to catch the juice. I think it was just under $10. Well worth it!

It's crisp, cool, very refreshing, and very guilt-free!!!

My Lunch-Break Shopping Spree!!

I went to JoAnn's for a small amount of satin fabric to use as a sash for an alteration I have to make on a BWR (Before Wardrobe Refashion) purchase from a few weeks ago. What I left with, 45 minutes later, was this: (from the bottom, up)

1 yard of Soft flanel baby food print which I'll use to make bibs 'n things for my new niece or nephew coming in the fall ($1.50)

3 yards of blue/green checked cotton I may make into a skirt or jumper or something. Not sure yet, but I love the colors and couldn't pass up the price! ($1/yd!)

2 yards of what they called "Short Hair Poodle" on sale that I think will make a great baby blanket. ($3/yd)

1 yard of "Mint Borouque Satin" for the sash that I need to make. I decided on a whole yard because the fabric is just so yummy and the absolute best color, so I will definitely use the rest for something!! ($4.99)

A remnant of Indigo/White striped vinyl. I have been looking for something to cover up my hideously uggly stress-mat that I use in the kitchen. My feet hurt ALL THE TIME, so I picked up an industrial-grade mat to stand on when I'm cooking and baking. It makes a bigger difference than I had anticipated, but it's uuuuuu-gly! So I'll use the vinyl to cover it up! Stay tuned for how I make it happen! It was a dollar something, but then it was on sale too, so I got it for 66 cents!!! Wooo-Hooo!

My hubby took issue with the pins in our bed this weekend when I used our bunk to do my sewing on. Oops! He said the tomatoe pin cushion I have should be magnatized, so voila! I also got myself a grabbit.

Then of course, is the big splurge: The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and York Peppermint Pattie. Well, I didn't stop for ice cream!

Creating new habits from old ones

I was getting ready for work this morning and remembered yesterday's post. I thought about the habit I have of eating ice cream every afternoon and I thought...what if I replace that habit with a healthier one? Instead of simply stopping (or hoping to stop) that habit, I can substitute something else for it.
Now this might sound strange, since my favorite food seems to be ice cream, but another one of my favorite foods is grapefruit! So I grabbed a whole grapefruit from the fridge and headed to work. I'm not adhering to a diet. I am tempted never to consider that practice ever again because my tendency is to make short-term, drastic changes, hold out for a few months, loose tons of weight, and then go back to my old ways.

Instead, I'm thinking I'll simply replace my old habits with new, healthier ones. Now on one of my old diets, it would have been a no-no to eat a whole grapefruit in one sitting, but by my calculations, a whole grapefruit is by far healthier than a pint of ice cream!
I'll let you know how this works. So far it's 10:15 am and I'm not tempted to hit the corner store on lunch break for some sweet lactose gourmet goodness, but we'll see what happens later...

Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch & Other Good-But-Bad-For-You Things in Life

I didn't plan it this way, but I find it interesting that within minutes, I found myself thinking about two of the areas of life I'm "working on" right now. Yesterday was a bust as far as starting an eating journal, and today might be as well, but it's still very forefront in my mind. I was taking my mid-day break, went to the bank, stopped at the grocery for some seltzer water and a pint of ben & jerry's; and was heading back to work. I passed by Fashion Bug with window signs advertizing a 40% off sale and I was tempted, but they have much better sales from time to time that are worth holding out for. It wasn't until a minute or so later that I remembered I can't go there anyway because I'm participating in Wardrobe Refashion and therefore I'm not buying new clothes for two months!

So I'm still driving back to work, one red light later, and I find myself contemplating whether to stop at Dunkin Donuts for an iced coffee or not. Now remember, I've got a liter of my favorite seltzer water (ruby red grapefruit!!!) and a pint of Ben & Jerry's Coffee Heathbar Crunch sitting next to me. Do I really need an iced coffee?

I resisted temptation and headed straight for work. I'm proud of myself in the sense that I didn't spend money on clothes and food I didn't need, but had I succumed to temptation, would it have been an emotional response? I simply don't know.

Over the last week, I've thought a lot about this. I know that there are certainly times that I eat and shop due to emotions, but a lot of times I think I just eat because it's habit. I have a pint of ice cream almost every afternoon (yes, a whole pint...don't judge me!) .

Or I shop or eat because it's there. I go to the department store on break for shampoo or something and walk past a rack of fantastic jeans and I find myself in line with the jeans, three tops and a skirt.

Or simply because it's enjoyable. Well, the shopping part isn't the highlight of my day, but wearing the new clothes for the first time makes me feel awesome and eating is certainly a pleasurable experience. It's a treat.

That's what was calling my attention today at Dunkin Donuts. It would have been a pleasurable treat. Maybe it's because we didn't have fast food in Seward, Alaska when I was growing up in the 70's or maybe because we didn't have snacks because we were pretty poor. I don't know. I'm not sure if it matters or not.

What I am sure of is that even though it's pleasurable, doesn't make it good for you. Unlike the old adolescent-minded saying: "how can it be bad if it feels so good, man?"

So I didn't check out the sale at Fashion Bug and I didn't get an iced coffee, but as I sit here on my lunch break, I've finished half of my chicken salad sandwich and am making good headway on the Coffee Heath Bar Crunch ice cream!

Two out of three ain't bad!

Emotional eating, NASCAR, and remembering

At my last counseling session, "Bill" and I talked about my eating habits. I brought it up, among other things, but hadn't intended for it to be something to work on JUST YET. Well, the more we talked about it, the more I realized that this is indeed the time to do something about it. This picture is of me about a year ago, after I'd lost quite a bit of weight. I have since gained it back and then some. Bill encouraged me to begin an eating journal, especially focusing on when I am "emotionally eating."

I plan to start the journal Monday, after I return from our "camping" trip to New Hampshire Motor Speedway for the NASCAR race! Go Tony! (Stewart) Actually, I'm a big Joe Gibbs fan, but Tony's driving talent caught my eye before I knew about Joe Gibb's ownership of the team.

Right, back to the topic...I'll probably post some of the entries here, as I examine my eating habits and how my emotions impact (and are impacted by) what I eat.

I've also been thinking a lot today about something that happened right around the time that picture was taken. My hubby and I have been trying on-and-off for five years to start a family. To this date, we've been unsuccesful. Last year, I really thought I was pregnant. It seemed obvious at the time. I had extreme mood swings I'd never had in all my years of PMS, I was "late," and had regular feelings of nausea. Looking back, the explanation seems clear. I was on some hormones that usually helps PMS, but with me it became worse. I was traveling, which also sometimes has an effect on your menstrual cycle. But while it was happening, it wasn't so clear.

I wasn't just sure. I'd been "sure" half a dozen times in the last four years. I was POSITIVE. 100%. Over the moon; didn't need a test to know; this was it.

We were still traveling when I got my period. I was dumbfounded, numb, walking around in a daze. Thankfully, it was the middle of a two-week vacation so I had some time to pull myself together, but still...I can remember sitting in a museum presentation thinking "here I am, watching this movie. How? Why? After (I thought) loosing the baby? This is crazy. How can I be doing THIS after THAT just happened? As if it's just another day. As if I'm perfectly fine. "

To further complicate matters, things weren't real great with me and my hubby at the time. I'd decided just before "discovering" the pregnancy that I was going to stop seeing the specialist for a while until our marriage was doing better. I had real fears as relating to parenting with him and knew that we needed major help before moving forward with a family. But once I thought I was pregnant, there was no way I was going to regret it, no matter what state our marriage was in! I looked all my fears in the eye and moved forward, ready to embrace the challenge and do my best without looking back.

So a year later, I look back and remember those days. It still seems so surreal. In a way it's a blessing that it happened while away because I don't have to walk around the house remembering sitting on the couch for hours at a time in contemplation. It was some anonymous hotel room out in the world somewhere and I'll never have to see it again.

I think I'm stronger for it though. My mom said she had a dream that one day I'd face a difficult challenge, decide to face it with courage and integrity, and then have it be taken away.

That's just how I want to live my life...with courage and integrity. And it's so true that sometimes the blessings and challenges are the same thing and sometimes they are taken away. But courage and integrity can never be taken away, only forfeited by choice.