Note to Self: 6th Edition

1. I don't have to accept myself the way I am. Some say you should. I say why settle? Yes, being happy with who you are is sometimes healthy. In the right context. But being open to change verses becoming complacent is healthy as well. If you're happy with who you are, but ignoring major flaws of charachter, that's a problem.

2. Be Present. While I'm being pulled in three directions (yes, down from 10!), I have to watch myself. You know the saying "borrowing $ from Peter to pay Paul." I have to make sure I'm not stealing time from Peter to spend with Paul. (Don't tell my hubby!)

3. Objectivity is golden. Through out marital counseling, I had an individual session where all we talked about was my family of origin. "Phil" asked some questions that seemed rather irrelevant at the time, but it really opened my eyes to the deeper dynamics of our family. I think of myself as a pretty intuitive and self-aware kinda gal, but he really helped me see even deeper. It was an incredibly valuable experience being able to gather his objective insight.

4. Delayed Gratification is Sweet. I hope. I haven't been able to get to the Department of Motor Vehicles to officially upgrade my driver's licence to motorcycle operator, so as I drive around town seeing all these people in office clothes atop their sport bikes (so funny to see!), it's a bit of a taunt to me! But I'll eventually have my bike and can start riding just like them, and it'll be sweet indeed!

5. My hubby and I are so in tuned to each other, and we both avoid confrontation so much, that when one is upset, the other retreats. Then the upset one retreats and the other retreats even more. This is a totally stupid spiral that goes on and on. In order to break the cylce, one of us has to change, and it looks like it's going to be me.

6. As far as I've come, as mature as I've gotten, {snort}, I've got a lot to learn.

{Swift River, Kancamagus Highway, near Conway, NH}

{Reflection of a grey heron on Conway Lake in Conway, NH}

Once Bitten

I've been bitten by the gardening bug.

*sigh*

It was bound to happen!

Even though I've been, shall we say, a bit remis in my gardening attempts in the past, I'm gearing up and planning next year's garden! It seems every day I add to the list of things I want to grow. I'm especially interested in the types of things that "thrive on neglect" like horseradish!

Here are pictures of my harvest from Mom's garden the other day. The giant zuke is actually 16". I thought it looked about the length of an infant (aprox 18-22") but now I realize they probably have their legs all scrunched up when I'm holding them! (And I have no sense of time or space!)

A weekend of Traditions

This was our 2nd annual Saco River Rafting trip with two other couples. Parts of the river are notorious for wild parties, but we visit the less-traveled section just up river from that.

The weekend was filled with traditions, old and new:

First up is Friday night's snack after everyone is set up and we can relax for the first time around the fire. My hubby pulls out his open-fire grilling rack and we have turkey kielbasa. Just a few bites for each of us is the perfect topping to a hectic day and the perfect christening to start the weekend. We don't do turkey kielbasa for health reasons, one of the ladies has no gallbladder, so can't have pork. Fine with me...turkey kielbasa is surprisingly fantastic!

Oh, and our campfires are usually made up of 2X4's that are leftovers from my hubby's jobs. Not exactly the romantic fire of my dreams, but it puts out the heat just as well!

This is our "tent," among other things! Didn't turn out quite as convenient as I thought it would be, but it certainly was dry! This may or may not continue to be a tradition (depending on the weather!)

Breakfast the first morning is usually big and hearty because lunch on the river is easy-to-carry snack-type foods. Enter my hubby's Cheezy Eggs. Recipe: a dash of milk. a dash of pepper, a dozen eggs and 12 oz grated cheddar. Mmmmm... and the best. blueberries. ever.

And peaches. Can't forget the peaches! One of the couples lives right next to a fantastic farm stand and brings all the fresh local fruits and veggies we can possibly consume (and more!)

And we can't forget my hubby's coffee. We used an $8 percolator for a few years, but it takes forEVER (according to my hubby who cannot function without caffeine) so he treated himself to this spiffy new unitasker this year! And of course, we still use the little teapot for our hot cocoa and teas! (Especially when we're finished with our next tradition...)

Here we're all lined up ready to go rafting...waiting for two of the guys to get back from dropping off the car at the bottom of our trip!

Rafting in the rain. Mmm. Not our favorite tradition. Last year it was overcast almost all day and rather miserable, but we made the best of it and made a pact that we'd be smarter in the years to come. Well, they all came on with startlingly similar cases of amnesia and wanted to raft thought I was going to stay behind. It was forcasted for rain and thunderstorms even though Saturday morning it was so hot. I finally convinced myself to go when they were getting all sunscreened up and changing into their suits and getting all excited!

If you catch a peek at the top/center of this pic you can see the leaves are already changing!! Of course, it's at 2,369 feet above sea level, but still...it's August 16th!

... and 15 minutes after we got in the river, it started sprinkling. But the water was moving pretty swiftly because it was about twice as high as it was last year. The trip last year took about 5 hours, this year's was only about 3 1/2. (Thankfully!!)

Eventually we caught the thunderstorm (or it caught us!) and we headed for the treeline. It got preety cold with the rain and wind and already being soaked, but we got through it dreaming of a new tradition for next year - scuba diving in the carribean!

This is my hubby's mess kit from boy scout days. He made the casing himself for his sewing merit badge. It hasn't held up TOO well, but after all-it has been 20 years! One of the many projects I'd like to take on this fall is re-sewing his pouch. Or maybe just fixing the blown seams and putting a new snap on it. We'll see. I'm not sure how he'll take it. He's very sentimental about these things and may like it just the way it is!

I sometimes call him my LeatherMan. He uses his Leatherman almost constantly when we're camping or hiking. My tough guy!

And of course, there's the tradition of me taking all kinds of random, mostly nature-related photos!

Quite by accident, we ended up camping at the same campground that our premarital "marriage mentors" camp at every year (for two whole weeks!) and we got to do some visiting before we left Sunday afternoon. It was so great to catch up. We exchanged e-mails, so hopefully we'll have a little better luck keeping in touch this year!

While there, we got a visit from a heron and I got to snap away! Did you know they nest in trees and in communities? It just seemed odd to me. I've never seen more than one at any given time and I don't really know why the thought of them nesting in trees sounds odd, it just does!

Note to Self: 4th Edition

1. It's important to have goals, and it's important to have them in front of you. Since my blog has pretty much become my personal Internet-central, I've decided to post my goals here. But since this is contradictory to a previous lesson - that I really need to declutter my sidebar - I've also decided to take other simplifying measures and post some of my lists in actual posts and just have links on my sidebar. So over the past week, I've moved my my bucket list, my collections, my reading list, and things I don't want to forget to someday talk about, (as well as my goal setting). Hopefully this will help to alleviate some of the visual clutter and make the blog more welcoming!!

2. Tanaya challenges me. Stretches me. I don't just relate to her, I am inspired by her. In contrast, I also relate all-too well to Jana's Emotional Hangover.

3. I dug out the paper making kit I found at a yard sale this summer. I want to make my own paper for Christmas cards this year, and am thinking about getting a head start. The packaging had some very interesting facts about paper usage statistics in North America. The kit was manufactured in 1991. This lead me to hop online and look for more current stats on how much we rich North Americans use! I found this old information from 1994; this site (which markets "green paper"), the average year of their references was 2001; this was a particularly interesting site which made me think beyond paper and garbage but more about the garbage trucks, salaries, taxes...you see where I'm going.


It didn't take long until I said to myself: self, it doesn't make a whole heck of a lot of difference whether I find an accurate number or not, the truth is we use and throw away a heck of a lot of paper that could be recycled. And I have the tool to recycle it myself. I continued reading the paper-making kit box and saw that I'd been assuming some wrong information. I figured I'd be able to recycle envelopes, newsprint, etc but not glossy paper like many fliers in the mail come. Wrong. I can use it all! Then I thought about my garbage can at work. Paper bags from fast food restaurants, envelopes, fax cover sheets, the glossy back of sheets of labels...it can all be used!

4. The deeper I dig* and the more I learn, I am astounded at the waste I create just by going along in my day to day life. I've never considered myself an extravagant person, but in contrast to the majority of the rest of the world that lives in unimaginable conditions, I am indeed living an extravagant life! So now I've found yet another expense I can withdraw from my budget - new paper! And can appreciate what paper I DO use (then recycle) a little more. Now I'm shredding everything at work...even non-confidential paper, (and paper fast-food bags) and bringing it home. I may ask for a non-homemade item for my birthday this year - a really good paper shredder for the house!

I'm most excited to share this site which talks about how they used to make paper in 1889; and Elizabeth's Flowers has kits to sell. (I'm not endorsing it, it just seemed like the lowest priced kit I found so far...) and I discovered that Elizabeth herself has a great blog as well!

I think it's important to note - the first link there has directions that make it sound REALLY complicated and pretty cumbersome! It's not. It's not as easy as going out and buying a ream of paper, but it's not that hard either!


*every SINGLE time I read "the deeper I dig," I read it the digger I deep. It's the strangest thing!

5. My hubby and I are fans of the sci fi channel shows Ghost Hunters and Ghost Hunters International. This is odd in one sense because I'm NOT a fan of horror or sci fi flicks of any kind. Granted, GH and GHI are nothing like a horror flick, but I generally stay away from any shows involving the paranormal. Not that I don't believe in the paranormal - I do believe, I just don't tend to want to purposely watch it.

So getting back to the point - we're fans of the show and often times will discuss the cases during commercials and later on. There's the interesting differences between the residual hauntings and intelligent hauntings, the debate over what constitutes proof, criteria used for declaring a site as haunted, etc... A residual haunting is like a tape that plays over and over again. It comes back seemingly without reason. You can't prompt it or make it "play," neither can you make it go away. It does it's thing whether you're there or not.

Now stay with me here...

I'm a little bit concerned about my plastic cup. If you haven't been "watching," it's stinky. Real stinky. It actually smells like skunk. *shiver*

I tried a deodorizing method I found online, to no avail.

I asked for input and got a great suggestion to use peroxide. It soaked for 13 hours. I emptied it out, rinsed, sniffed and *grin* it smelled like a clean plastic cup! So I set it on the drying rack and headed to work, got back home and went to happily sniff my newly deodorized cup and got a nasty surprise.

The stink was back.

Remember what I said about a residual haunting?

I think I may have a dead skunk haunting my plastic cup.

Any suggestions on how to exorcise it?

And an extra-freaky tidbit. I have another identical cup.

The other one now stinks too.

Weird.

6. I took the Multiple Intelligences test and "Park Ranger" popped up in two categories as possible career matches for me. Hm...maybe a career change is in store for me?


7. I have friends of all ages. Well, not ALL ages. I don't have many (if any) friends MY age. A few years ago I went on a search for a friend my age and I discovered I am the only person born anywhere near 1976 in my little corner of the world! Then I became obsessed with this search...to no avail.

Fast forward to sometime this week and it occurred to me I hadn't thought a lot about this obsession in quite awhile. This idea that I had to have a friend my own age. One night I was sitting up, checking in on y'all and it hit me while surfing from a 20-something's blog to a 60-something's blog, with SAHM's, career women, crafty women, sustainable-living women...it doesn't matter what age you are.

A friend is a friend is a friend.

8. "Silly."

I use the word silly often in not-so-silly situations. Like when I want to call myself stupid, but don't want to ACTUALLY call myself stupid. I say "Silly," like - duh.

Awhile back, my counselor Bill caught me on this and I couldn't explain why I did it.

A few weeks ago I was at my folks house, walking around the patio, snapping pictures and I twisted my ankle. Dad came outside a few minutes later and I explained why I was hobbling.

"Tsk," *shaking head,* "Silly."

Imagine my shock-awareness-aha moment.

And I realized my Mom does the same thing.

So when they were telling my brother and I growing up not to call each other stupid, they were essentially giving us permission to do just that - under cover.

I haven't learned all that I can from this lesson yet, I'm still pondering it over and over in my mind, but I thought I'd share this aha moment with y'all.

Now I think it's important to note here though...I'm not one to say "It's all my parents' fault!" (insert winy cry-baby voice here) and that's not my message. Rather, what can I learn from it, what can I take away, digest, and discover about my own self-talk and how can I grow.

9. I'm learning that one of our greatest resources just might be each other, so I'm going to throw this out there because one of you just might be able to help me.

When I was born, someone gave me a stuffed bear with a music box inside. It played rock-a-bye baby and I LOVED listening to the music while I tried to fall asleep. I can remember holding it close, feeling the clicking as the music box made it's music. The round thing turning, the pins clicking over the nubs. And then it would go slower and slo.w..e...r..... until it stopped in the middle of the song. As it turned and clicked and played it's music, it would create small vibrations though and I loved thinking about, picturing in my mind, what the music box inside looked like.

I still have the bear, but I threw him across the room at my brother in a fit of rage at the age of, of course, 13 and broke the stem/key off the music box. So alas, Benny plays no more music, but the memories are there and I can still hear the tin-y clinking of it in my mind. Benny is also so beat up and worn out, I can't even imagine what he must have looked like the day I was born and he was given to me. As my Mom tells it, he was the first gift I ever got.

When my brother's wife had their firstborn, I started a tradition. Or so I intended. At my SIL's shower, I gave the baby a stuffed bear that played rock-a-bye-baby. We didn't know then whether it was a boy or a girl, but it didn't really matter. It was SO hard to find a bear with a music box inside, but I managed to find one at a music box specialty shop.

Now that my hubby's brother is expecting, I want to do the same, but the music box shop I went to originally is now gone.

My question is this: Does anyone know of a source for teddy bears with music boxes inside? I don't care if it's online or by mail or international or WHAT. And I have until November. LOL.

Interestingly enough, "Benny" is pink.

Benny, a pink bear with orange eyes.

Amend that: Benny, a thoroughly loved pink bear with orange eyes.


10. I continue to find connection after connection with people all over the globe. It reminds me of the six degrees of separation. I go to some one's blog, see another interesting link, click on that link and so on. Fabulous! Take for instance The Country Doctor's Wife, who I cannot visit from work because I always find myself laughing hysterically. I discovered her from the Pioneer Woman, who I found from the Farmer's Wife, who I found from Shelly at the Happy Hut, who I met on Wardrobe Refashion. It always comes back to Wardrobe Refashion!!Okay, that was only five, but you get the point. (Unless Yahoo! counts, which is how I found Wardrobe Refashion!)


11. We're going camping again this weekend...this time REAL camping...in tents and everything! Except, we're expecting rain all weekend, so we're thinking of putting the blow up mattress in the back of my hubby's truck and sleeping there instead of in a puddle. An option anyway!

So I'm bringing lots of rags because we tend to use lots of paper towels while camping...but I thought "how can I transport the rags in a compact and user-friendly manner?"

Result:

Tissue box style container...all of the rags are folded together just the same as tissues are in tissue boxes and I tried it out to make sure it worked...and it does! When you pull one rag out, the next one pulls through just a little!

I'm so darn proud of myself it should be illegal!!

I'll end this post with some shots of my big backyard. Ihave been having a bit of trouble with my camera as the LCD display is shot. *shaking head* if it's not one thing, it's another! I just got it back from the repair shop! So anyway, a few of the shots are really over exposed, but I'm working on it! Enjoy...
Concord Grapes (unripe)
Cone Flower (over exposed) antique roses (I think)
Still haven't id'd these.

Lunchcapades

What?! Going outside in the middle of the day?! Have I finally gone off the deep end?



It's true. I left the sheltering confines of my cubicle today to make a quick trip to the grocery and back. I made good use of my short walk across the parking lot to snap a few quick pics of *gasp* blue sky and cracked windows! The first time I've been able to leave my car window cracked in ... uh ... hmm ... I don't know how long!


And here's a look at the passenger seat. Really takes you back, huh? (It's been so long since it has acted as studio to my lunchcapades pics!)


I've gotten SO much into the habit of grabbing my raingear before leaving the house, I just naturally did so again this morning despite the radio comentators making such a big deal about no rain in the forcast! (stuffed on the other side of the box)

I also wanted to show you another organization tool I've implemented. I have about three of these thin expanding file folders around the house, so I grabbed one, emptied out the three-year-old receipts, and started stuffing papers into it. I have a pocket with my idea notebook, a pocket with my current reading list book and journal; and the rest of the pockets are slowly filling up with random papers that I seem to accumulate, throw in my bag or onto the car seat, and re-discover three weeks later crumpled up and long forgotten. Meantime, I usually search high and low for them, figure they've been inadvertently thrown away, and make a new list or create a new document.


No more! Now I can just stuff it in one of the pockets and I'll know where it is when I need to retreive it later.

We'll see how long it lasts!

Central New Hampshire camping pics