Random Thoughts

I've been contemplating "sustained discipline" with my counselor. Not in depth, because it seems that each session there is something else more pressing. My lack of self-discipline isn't going anywhere. Not today anyway. I just spent about two hours on the computer, 1/2 an hour doing dishes, and here I am back on the computer.

I like the anonymity of the internet. I can say or be anything I want to be. But mostly I want to be Me.

Last night my hubby and I were talking about what we wanted to do if, by the completion of that "thing we'd do," our lives would end. I decided I wanted to record the stories of the people I meet through the furniture ministry at my church. Their stories need to be shared. Their struggles need to be brought to light. Their courage in the face of hopelessness needs to be celebrated.

Which brings me to another thought I've been having today. It's been bothering me lately that it is so hard to find mattresses for these folks. Any time we receive a mattress in donation, it is immediately delivered because we literally have a waiting list. But what if we had a mattress drive, or a fund raiser for the express purpose of purchasing mattresses? What if we got a furniture company involved and asked if they'd match any donations toward purchasing mattresses at their establishment? What if everyone had a mattress that needed one? What if guest rooms around the city were disassembled? What if people around the state became more aware of the fact that kids, elderly, refugees, veterans, people just like you and me, were sleeping on couches, on piles of clothing, towels, the bare floor.

What if?

To that end, I'm starting a new blog. The new one won't have any links back here because, like I said. I like my anonymity here. But I'm going to write about our ministry. And I'm going to write about the people we meet, and my team that is so eager to help. And about the challenges we face throughout the city. And maybe, just maybe we'll start to become more aware.

Note to Self: 3rd Edition

1. The philosophy of efficiency with money can be easily replicated in an efficiency with time concept. Thanks, Journeyer for sharing this insight! Be sure to check out both her links. The Maya Angelou quote at the bottom of her introduction is another whole lesson in itself!

2. Balance is of utmost importance. But balance can't always be acheived the same way in every situation. Take motorcycle riding. Sometimes, like when weaving back and forth, you stay seated straight up and down while the bike leans back and forth. Other times, like around a sweeping corner, you lean very slightly with the bike. And other times, like when doing a very tight u-turn, you actually have to counterweigh the bike, leaning the opposite way.

In each situation, as in life, it's important to assess the situation and figure out what position will acheive the optimal result.

3. But no matter how balance is acheived, you always have to keep your chin up and look ahead to where you're going. Otherwise, balance is irrelevant. You might be balanced, but you'll be wobbling all over the place without direction.

4. If you want to change one habit, it may involve changing another habit. I have struggled with this month's Quit Now Challenge of quitting the snooze button. Today I had my biggest victory yet! I only hit the snooze button twice. I realized something else though. I went to bed about 1-2 hours earlier than normal. I usually head to bed at 10 at the earliest. Sometimes if I don't think I'm "tired enough," I'll stay up until 12 or 1 am. As a kid I would sit in bed for hours on end unable to sleep, so I'm extremely vigilant about knowing when I'm "ready" for bed. But last night I headed to bed just after 9 and fell asleep pretty quickly. It makes me realize that I can change my snooze button habit, but it may take changing my bedtime habits as well.

5. Who knew making a bib would be more difficult than a blanket?! Apparently, size DOESN'T matter! It's all those *%)$%(&$%&%* curves!

6. One of the best ways to overcome a fear is to simply do it anyway. Driving to motorcycle training Wednesday morning, my hubby and I discussed our concerns about riding in the rain and were somewhat grateful to be given the opportunity to ride in the rain during the training so that we could learn how to compensate for it. What we learned was that with the right gear, it's not that big of a deal (within reason.) With proper rain gear and a full face helmet, you're pretty much protected from the rain. It's still not the best of conditions, but it's nothing to be afraid of.

drenched, but trying to dry out.

7. With a big enough stash, you can make just about anything! I made a special square out of the materials used to make the baby blanket, then I attached a bunch of ribbons and triangles of material from my stash. They are all different textures and colors for the baby to play with! If it weren't Stash Month, I'd have been tempted to go out and buy new ribbon and more remnants!

8. Saving money can be fun! I'm really enjoying the challenge of finding alternate ways of doing things (other than going out and buying the newest, best big thing)

9. Antiques are fun! My first giveaway wasn't exactly the biggest bestest thing-a-ma-jig, but it was a cool little trivia/mystery piece.

This little guy was used years ago before plastic bags were all the rage! The hooks on either end would wrap around the string used to secure books and packages, the handle would make it easier to carry the package without the string digging into your fingers!

I found this guy at a yard sale earlier in the year. The man selling it was impressed that I knew what it was used for. A few years back my mom and I stumbled upon one at an over-priced antique shop and couldn't figure out what it was. We got the scoop then, and I scooped this little guy up at the yard sale for 50 cents! (instead of the $8 the antique shop wanted for it!) I'm saving one for mom for christmas, saving one for myself, and Bragger here gets the last one! (yeah, she gets the prize AND you can blame her for taking the last perfect man!) So, Bragger, leave me a comment with your address (I promise I won't approve it for public view!) and I'll get your string handle thingy in the mail on Monday! (I know what it's used for, but not what it's officially called!) I guess I could just make up a name for it like the bird in the Little Mermaid.... Naw...

10. Avoiding confrontation often leads to a worse, unavoidable confrontation down the line. (Cue yesterday's rant.) I'm as much to blame as my hubby for this, but camping with the family is now a huge soap opera drama that could have been handled a LOT better by both of us a month or two ago, but we took the seemingly easy (avoidant) route at the time and are paying dearly for it now. It all comes back to boundaries, assertiveness and personal responsibility. I can't control how Mom and Dad will react, but I do have the responsibility of not initiating or participating in these games.

To fiction or not to fiction

I am a writer. I have been writing little snippets for as far back as I can remember. I write poetry, I write essays, I try to write fiction. I finish poetry, I finish essays, I can't finish a piece of fiction to save my life.
I dreamed for years to write a novel. To teach lessons in a roundabout way. To pretend to be a fictional person, to share the lessons I've learned in life through the creation of another.
Here are some of my past writings.
Last night I had a lightbulb moment. Perhaps I shouldn't be wasting my energy on something I haven't shown any talent in if I have shown talent in another area instead. I mean, come on already! Focus on non-fiction, essays, poetry. Another example of trying to spread myself too thin? Trying to conquer the entire world? Not content with the talents God has given me in one area, I want more, more, more?
Something I need to contemplate more, I suppose, but I think I might be on to something.
On the other hand, is it just that fiction is harder, and I'm giving up too easily?
*sigh* Who knows?