Lunchcapades

I didn't take these today, but thought this was a good time to share them. I visited three gardens this weekend, this is all from my Mother-In-Law's.

Setting Boundaries

I've decided to use an organza type material for the tie-backs on my previously dubbed "interview shirt," but that would require another trip to the craft store. What to do, what to do.

I may limit myself to going with my hubby. He's good at standing there and saying "what are you going to use that for? do you really need that? are you sure you need that much?"

I know it will be a bit of a sacrifice for him, but maybe I can make it up to him by going to the Hobby shop with him afterwards!

I've been reading Boundaries lately. In a very teeny tiny nutshell, it's about setting healthy parameters on your relationships. Like saying "I love you Mom, but right now's not a good time to visit. Thanks for dropping by, let's get together tomorrow." Instead of allowing her to just drop in for an unannounced visit while you are trying to clean the house and bake brownies for the PTA meeting and get those birthday party invitations ready before the mail carrier comes.

I'm on the chapter dealing with setting limits on your personal behavior, like your relationship with food and shopping! It's quite interesting to be doing all of this when I come to this chapter. Interesting and revealing! I highly recommend the book.

the big questions...

I had my interview this morning and I think I spent more time contemplating my interview outfit than preparing for the interview itself! In the end, it really didn't matter. I mean, how do you prepare for an interview? Normally, I'd find the company's website, learn as much as I can about their service, industry and market, and try to dig down a little deeper into whatever part of the company I'd be working in. It's hard to really research a state agency. I suppose I could have tried.

There were three of them! I anticipated that, and it wasn't even unnerving, but when I think about it, it could have been very nerve wracking! One asked me if I knew how many Commissioners there were. I said I really hadn't thought about it but supposed one. Wrong. I mean, is that really a serious interview question? I think it was more of an educational method. You know...the teacher doesn't just say 5 X 5 is 25. The teacher asks...what's 5 X 5? Then you remember it better because you actively think about both the question and answer.

I seriously don't think that's going to be a major sticking point in the overall interview review, but I laughed about it later.

I ended up selecting a shirt this morning because it was clean. Good reason to wear something to an interview! I couldn't find the one I wanted, and the refashioned one I REALLY wanted wasn't turning out the way I imagined in my head!

It's interesting...I even changed my shoes at the last minute because I had on these cute short heels (1") with a great point and little bow, but I sometimes roll my ankle and I didn't want to worry about looking stupid walking down the hall and falling, so I wore the less-cute-but-still-nice flats.

It's interesting to me because I think going into an interview you want to portray confidence and there are a few factors that go into confidence. You have to weigh those factors against each other until you find the balance and where you need to be. I had to weigh comfort against appearance (shirt - didn't have full range of motion in my arms with another one, but it looked more professional) and I had to weigh appearance with ease-of-mind with the shoes.

In the end, I was confident that I looked professional and wouldn't fall on my face. Works for me!

A sample of the big questions of the morning:


If you were in a position where a co-worker is being treated unfairly and you'd need to intervene on their behalf, what would you do and why?


What is your definition of morals and integrity?


Describe a situation in which you've personally demonstrated integrity.


You've messed up really bad. What do you do?


Describe a situation in which there is really bad communication and what you did to correct it.


What is one of the hardest things you face in a working situation and why.


Do I stay up all night working on the shirt that's going to make me feel fantastic or do I go to sleep early since I haven't gotten a good night's rest in almost a week?





(Still on hangers) black straight-leg slacks, chiffon-y polyester top with dotted tank lining. The top was a little busy and harsh for my taste, but it fits great. They are all store bought and all pieces I've work quite a bit. I really want to refashion something great, but I think it's going to take a certain amount of practice and trial-and-error and building experience before I get there. Not that I'm setting my expectations low. I think I'm simply being realistic.

I went to Wendy's last night with an older woman who's taken me under her wing. She's fantastic! I've never had grandparents very close (always at least 2 hours away) and I get to see her once or twice a week now. I have to tell you, I am so encouraged by her! I think our minds work very similarly and it's great seeing that she turned out all right, so I've got a chance too! My point was going to be about Wendy's though.

It's getting harder and harder to pass up the ice cream. It's still not difficult. On a scale of 1.) No Problem, 5.) Difficult, to 10.) Impossible, I'd say I'm at a 3. So no worries yet, but we went inside to order last night and being in the presence of fresh Frosties for an extended period of time was probably a little bit of a temptation. I didn't dwell on it, but it occurred to me once or twice.

I'm glad we went though, because it tells me I need to be aware of these things. Awareness is powerful.

"Thank you, thank you very much..."

I have to say, I'm proud of myself.

I know, I know, pride is bad, but this kind of pride is the result of something good. And it's not like I'm strutting around, broadcasting it to the world.

Well, I guess I am. Hm.

So anyway...

I'm still not liking how my interview shirt is coming out with the satin trim and my interview is, well, it's tomorrow. Sunday when I arrived home bleary eyed and foggy-brained I accepted the fact that my interview skirt wouldn't be done in time. No way was I working on it in that state of half-awakeness. I told myself I'd just have to use my Wardrobe Refashion Get out of Jail Free card for a skirt or something. Then I realized - I have nice black pants that the shirt will go fine with. And they look really professional. So, I conceded that I didn't actually have to use my one chance to shop for clothes on this interview. I'd have the great newly tailored shirt and I'd look fantastic.

Enter knit shirt, serger, pleats, bad serger setting, puckering, lettucing, satin trim stretching the knit too much, etc etc etc. *shaking head, sigh*

It's all a part of the learning experience, no? I really wish I'd learned this a Looooong time ago!

I'm keeping pretty well in perspective though. A few months ago, I'd be very tense and crazy right about now, trying to manipulate the time to finish the darn thing before the interview instead of realizing some plans just don't work out and I have plenty of other shirts in my closet. Yes they fit, yes the are professional. Yes, they kind of make me look like I might be pregnant, but they fit, they are professional and otherwise they look really good. (Except for the preg-o part!)

Again, I was very close to using my one chance to shop for new clothes in this two-month period of the Wardrobe Refashion Challenge, but I realized I really don't need to. My time will be better spent plucking my brows, getting a good night's sleep, and practicing up on those hard interview questions. You know, the ones like "What's your biggest weakness."

*Gasp* Can they even sleep at night!?

I was doing laundry last night and recalled something I read about the cost of laundry soap. I know, I've been talking a lot about laundry soap lately and it's not like saving hundreds of dollars every month, but it's a snapshot of the world.

And it's my blog, I can write what I want to! LOL

I recall reading somewhere (sorry - I've read so much on this, I can't find it again!) that not only is commercial laundry detergent more expensive, but we are probably using far more than necessary. I actually thought "I'm pretty sure I don't use too much, but I should check that out next time I'm doing laundry." So sure enough, I remembered to read the label. On my particular bottle, it said for a regular load, fill to the bottom line, heavy to the second line, and extremely heavily soiled loads should get enough detergent to fill to the third line. Except the lines weren't lines around the cap like a measuring cup. They were like bars on a bar graph. And they didn't stick out in any way from the rest of the surface. It was like they used a denser plastic mix in those areas so if you hold it up to the light, you can see a faint shadow that shouldn't be there.

NO JOKE!!!

I was perplexed at the time. Like do they really think that's helpfull? Are they serious? Is this normal laundry detergent cap-marking practice? Seriously.

And do you know...the lowest "bar" on the "bar graph" is like a 1/3 of an inch up from the bottom of the cap? Do you know how much I usually use?! Do you know how much extra detergent I've paid for in the last however many years?!? Do you know how angry I'm getting just rehashing this from last night?!?! Do you?!?!?!?!?!

Do you know how much extra you've been using?

conTemplative Tuesdays

What's the deal?

Why is it that sometimes you can quit something and it "sticks," or is relatively easy, and other times it is incredibly hard and you end up "falling off the wagon" relatively quickly? I've experienced both quite a few times. I've analyzed the circumstances, the condition of my heart and mind, my intentions, etc. and yet I don't quite see why I sometimes have great success and I sometimes fail almost immediately.

Quitting ice cream is not something new to me. Quitting JUST ice cream is, but I've done it before. I still have ice cream in the freezer. I couldn't see myself throwing out perfectly good food just because I was rejecting it. My hubby complains if there isn't any around, though he hasn't had any since I stopped! *Fine balance there. At least he has the choice!*

And it's not like I thought about it long and hard, planned for it in advance, etc. I just did it. I've WANTED to do it in the past, DONE it, and made it about 8 hours before breaking down and stopping for a pint (or more) at the corner store.

So what's different this time? That I DIDN'T plan?

That I told myself every afternoon for the last week leading up to it that I had to do something about it (but not made plans) because it made me feel so blah and icky after?

Was it because I WANTED to change my habit? Was it because I was READY to change my habit? Was it because I RECOGNIZED that it was a habit?

Was it because I recognized the root of the problem?

See, when I'm out on my lunch break, I'll be driving back to work or checking my watch, sitting in the parking lot or on the lawn, and suddenly I'll have this desperate thought...do I have any food at work? What if I get hungry? Will I be trapped at work with no way of getting to food?
I think this desperation goes back to two factors...

Growing up we were pretty poor. I didn't know any better, so it wasn't a big deal. But I suspect that I was probably not a stranger to hunger and that may be a factor in me being very cautions and aware of my state of hunger or fullness. In fact, just thinking about going back to work in the afternoon without any food in store for me there causes me to feel hunger! (Then when I get to the store, I naturally move to the freezer and get the same brand and flavor almost every time! Did someone mention the word habit?)

A few years ago, my hubby and I were driving north to a very rural area of New England. We'd stopped for dinner and he wanted to grab a coffee at the Dunkin Donuts before we got back on the highway. It was pretty much the last exit on the highway that we could count on the stores still being open so late at night; and as we stood in line I began thinking about that fact. Now mind you, I'd just had dinner. I had a full stomach (presumably). But I began to think desperately - what if I get hungry along the way? *sigh*

I bought a donut. I didn't eat it, but just having it there gave me the security that I wouldn't go hungry. Hmm.

The second factor is that I have a suspicion that I'm hypoglycemic. When I get truly over-hungry, I get shaky, dizzy, grouchy and a little bit weak. I don't faint. I've not yet fainted once in my entire life. I'm not that girl! But because of this, I like to have a little something in my purse, in the fridge, at my desk, etc. You get the picture.

I guess it doesn't matter as much WHY it's working, but THAT it's working this time.

Until I want to duplicate the success! LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I read back through this entry, a few words pop out at me...

"...I was rejecting it." (me, rejecting food. Like it has feelings!)
habit, recognition, root, desperate thought, trapped, just thinking about...[it] makes me feel hunger, naturally, security.

Definitely something to contemplate.

It kind of reminds me of Bret Favre and (unrelated) a former drug addict.

People say - here we go again, Favre's back. How many times is he going to come back out of retirement?!

I never really believed he'd stay in retirement this second time. (I confess, I wasn't really paying attention the first time.) When asked why, I explain - he was visibly upset, you could tell it was really hard on him, it was tearing him apart having to leave the sport as an active player. In contrast, I recall the recent retirement of Rusty Wallace from the NASCAR Sprint Cup series. He was ready. He was looking forward to retirement, he felt good about his career and also felt good about retiring. Now take Favre. To me, it seemed obvious that he didn't feel good about retiring. He didn't seem ready.

The other thing this reminds me of is a TV drama I watched ages ago. I think it was Judging Amy. Her brother (I think) had been an addict and he'd gone through rehab and gotten clean. He had a roommate who found his drug of choice and a needle in his nightstand. His roommate was understandably upset until he explained why it was there.

In his perspective, it was easier to walk away from the drug with it not around, but it gave him a sense of accomplishment to be able to CHOOSE not to use it every day.

Hmm.

Oi. *Sigh*

I went back to the craft store at lunch today. I gave my hubby fair warning. I had to go. I simply had to.
We are taking a motorcycle safety course in the begining of august and we need jackets (per the instructions in the course description). Have you ever bought or priced out biker jackets? Oi. We went a few weeks ago to see what options/sizes/types/materials there were in the motorcycle jacket market. Boy, what variety! Even on craigslist it's hard to find an affordable jacket, so I thought - what about my hubby's old carhardt? Actually, he's worn through two of them. I keep them around to use to patch up heavy duty items like car seat covers, jean patches, etc. But even the older one I've only torn the pocket off, so it's structurally sound.
No, I'm not going to make my hubby show up to class in a torn up winter jacket in the middle of the summer. My plan is to wash it with soda ash then dye it, hopefully making the patch of never-before-seen-and-so-pristene carhardt material less noticable! I also plan to take out the insulation and liner and add a new liner out of more breathable fabric. The whole reason he stopped using the coat is because the zipper broke, so I'm going to rip off the velcro patches that no longer stick and put on heavy duty snaps.
Which leads me back to the craft store. Heavy duty snaps and a snap plier tool.
Then I found button covers, remembered I needed beading needles (don't know where my needles went!!!), saw the prettiest filigree clasp, and three different color collections of large glass beads. Wow. What a find!
$58.20 later I slinked out of the store shaking my head. Problem. Really. *sigh*
Then I got back to work and thought - what if I could make it from scratch? What if I could find the polyester mesh and neoprene and kevlar materials they use for the summer-type jackets that breathe really well? Why not? So I may have made that trip for nothing! (But it will ALL be put to good use!)
At least I didn't buy more fabric!
I'm not posting pictures for today's lunchcapades because I left my memory card in my laptop at home again. Oi.